For the poll 'Have you ever used the internet', the votes were split 55% 'Yes', 0% No, (big suprise there) and 45% "My dad uses a straight edge'. It looks like I am not alone in my PLLU (Parental Linear Lenghtometer Usage) phenomenon.
The second poll 'What is the meaning of life', was...interesting. The winner, (no drum roll, gives me sezures) was "My dad uses a straight edge" with 40% of the vote! I guess PLLU is now an epidemic, will somebody please think of the children! My freezer is getting full and I need more red meat. For the rest, "Waiting for god to tell me" was at 30%, "To prepare one's self for death" got 20%, and "2 mespal kamon werdz." earned 10%.
Finally a third poll! Think I might just make it out of 15, nah, that's too easy. Man this question is long, thank the good computer lord for copy and paste.
For my fourth poll, (he he, four, for, get it?) "You are confronted with the person who is at the very top of your hitlist. Which object do you beat them with?", the winner was "I would talk it out with them, I don't believe in violence. All those people I killed were just the police making up stories." with 40% of the vote, it looks like we have a lot of serial killers in denile. The runner-up is "Beat them? I'd whip out a shotgun and give them a high powered labotomy." with 30% of the vote, then "A baseball bat, I want to cover all of my bases." with 15%, "Take a guess. My dad uses a straight edge." with 10%, "Sledge hammer, because I am not very original."received 5%, and "I don't beat them with anything, because I am a pansy." did not even get one vote, I guess those hippies were wrong about 'flower power.'
Thought this poll would never end. Not that my polls are bad things, it's just that... I'm going to shut up now. Anyways, for my poll, "Howmuchwoodwouldawoodchuck
chuckifawoodchuckwouldchuckwood?" the winner was "They will be able to chuck wood soon enough! We'll build stronger, faster woodchucks, then we will rule the world! (Evil, menacing laugh)" with 65%. This is why genetic expirimentation should be illegal. In second place, "Aboutasmuch
woodasawoodchuckwouldchuckifawood
chuckcouldchuckwood! (Yes, I finally conquered my lisp!)" with 15%, "What the hell are lou talking about, where is the real poll?!" with 10%, "You know, it just isn't as impressive when you type a tongue twister as compaired to when you actually say it." with 5%, and finally "Everybody loves a classic; MDUASE" with 5%. Yes, MDUASE is an acronym for my dad uses a straight edge. I just got tired of typing the-prase-that-shall-not-be-typed over and over again.
Cool! Another poll! Didn't take too long, only (looks at "Updates" section, rubs eyes in stereotypical disbelief) five and a half months. Okay, the results for the poll "Where do baby-burgers come from?" are as follows: . . (Stereotypical drumroll, pauses "briefly", looks at results and smacks self in head for not thinking of super-ingenius plan earlier.) Hey, I have an idea! (Stereotypical light bulb appears above head.) Instead of typing out my poll, I could demonstarte it through interpretive dance, I mean, a picutre! Just crank your head downward and enjoy its untainted beauty. Now I don't have to blabber on and on and on and on . . .
I will try to resurrect my results from beyond the inter-webular grave with my mad-psycic skillz. (The 'z' is for 'zork,' don't ask why. I was originally going to put a 'k' in the 'psycic,' but I felt that was too much.) For the poll "Does this dress make me look fat?," the answer "Yes. Now will you take the dress off Bob, you're making me uncomfortable." won by a landslide at 85%! The other 15% probably did not get the joke, so I'll explain it in depth. Or not.
Since it was such a slide of landyness,
I will just list the other choices because I feel they are all winners, in a loser-ish way. Kind of like saying "Thanks for coming and making everyone else look good." The loser-winners are, "Of course not honey! (Don't ask about the shoes, don't ask about the shoes...)," "Is there an answer where you don't get mad because I'm too honest, or insincere?," "Holy fecal matter! You're a blimp! Sorry, it just slipped out.," "What a cliche. I refuse to answer rhetorical questions.," and "You know, using a long band of stiff material could tuck that tummy. My dad uses a straight edge."
