by Jon Lewallen
Hello everyone. I couldn�t think of anything to write this month, and Richard Innoverica, whom I interviewed back in March, keeps bugging me to talk to him again, so here we go. Another interview with local inventor Richard Augustus Innoverica.
Young Person�s Perspective: Hello again, Mr. Innoverica, how are you doing?
Richard Innoverica: Please, call me Richard.
YPP: Alright. So you�ve been interested in talking again ever since March. Any particular reason?
RI: Well, I was afraid our previous interview failed to capture the breadth of my inventing, so I wanted to have another go.
YPP: Alright, what are you working on right now?
RI: Well, it�s summertime, and I�ve been working on a series of inventions designed to �beat the heat,� so to speak.
YPP: Sounds useful.
RI: Boy I hope so. The first thing I�ve been working on is a new way to keep cool, and it�s celebrity air conditioners.
YPP: Celebrity air conditioners? Like they�re endorsed by celebrities?
RI: Exactly. You are a sharp young man, you know that? If you want a window unit with Edward G. Robinson or Bert Lahr�s name on it, Innoverica is the company for you.
YPP: Are they all dead celebrities? Or is there anything more�current?
RI: Well, you know we�re working on that. My legal team is currently in talks with Phylicia Rashad, and we�re all hoping that works out.
YPP: So you build these air conditioners, then slap a celebrity�s name on it, and call it a new invention?
RI: You make it sound much more negative and less creative than it is. Also, I don�t physically build the air conditioners myself.
YPP: So you design them, and your assistants build them?
RI: My assistants purchase them, yes.
YPP: Purchase them?
RI: That�s right.
YPP: Alright, what else do you want to talk about.
RI: Well you know, an important part of heat-beating is keeping a constant flow of liquids in your system.
YPP: I don�t know about constant.
RI: Constant and eternal. And one way I�m helping folks with this is buy inventing a juice fountain.
YPP: What is that?
RI: It�s like a water fountain, only filled with various juices.
YPP: You know, that�s not a terrible idea.
RI: You sound surprised.
YPP: Are you actually making these, or just buying old water fountains and juice in them somehow?
RI: Why, we�re building them of course. Otherwise, it�s not an invention.
YPP: No, of course not. So how do they work?
RI: Well they don�t, at least, not quite yet. The idea is to have a refillable reservoir of juice, much like you do at gas stations and the like, and when you press a button juice comes out, for people�s general enjoyment.
YPP: Again, that�s not a terrible idea. How far along are you?
RI: Well, we�ve gotten the reservoir system working. The problem is getting enough suction, or reverse-gravity or something to get the juice upwards through the little hole at the top where people drink. Or the mouthpiece, or whatever it�s called.
YPP: Reverse gravity?
RI: Well I�m not exactly sure what the technical term for it is, but it�s when you have a thing and it goes upwise instead of downways. This kind of thing was never my strong suit.
YPP: You mean science?
RI: Generally, yes.
YPP: So what flavors do you have planned?
RI: I�m not really sure. I don�t much care for use myself, so I�m leaving that part up to my assistants. I did happen by the lab the other day, and they had a great big chalkboard with things written on it like �banana,� �sour cream and lime,� and �turnip.�
YPP: Turnip juice?
RI: Well, we at Innoverica strive to be different. After all, if it�s not different, it�s not an invention.
YPP: Is that on your business cards or something?
RI: Business cards, what business cards? Did you make us business cards?
YPP: Did�I mean, I�no, I didn�t make you business cards.
RI: Well that�s too bad.
YPP: Isn�t it? Well, thanks for taking the time to insist I interview you.
RI: Thanks for having me.
Neighborhood Watch...p. 2
Message from the President...FRONT
Pine Oaks Book Club...p. 2
Fighting Spirit...p. 3
Welcome Wagon...FRONT
This Month in Pine Oaks...FRONT
Young Person's Perspective...p. 4