Edmonton Resident Leaves Town for Greener Pastures

In an unprecendented move this week, Edmonton resident Patricia Foufas has skipped town in search for her fortune across the sea. When approached for comment, She had this to say: "Hey, It's no big deal, just going on a little holiday, It's nothing, really, but if Visa calls, tell them I'm dead. Wait, stop, are you going to print this?" Ms. Foufas has reportedly secured a teaching job in a small city called Guildford, just outside of London. No, not London, Ontario...The other London. During her stay, Ms. Foufas will be residing in an even smaller town called Dorking.Ms. Foufas refused to comment on the strangely appropriate title of her chosen residence.

When asked about the most daunting aspect of the upcoming trip, Ms. Foufas muttered something about having to pack up her life into little boxes and put them into storage. Ms. Foufas then began a long-winded rant about how she disliked moving and subletting issues.From ranting about having to pack, Ms. Foufas then began ranting about the trip itself, from the heavy suitcases to the evils of air travel, to the lack of adequate plane food to the price of beverages on international flights. From there, Ms. Foufas began ranting about unfairness of the teaching market, the problems of global warming, and attributed everything in the world to the growing problem of globalization.We regret that we are unable to provide readers with the details beyond this because, we tuned her out. We are only human, you know. Ms. Foufas will be leaving Edmonton on August 28 at 12:30 am. She can be reached at [email protected]