Journal
Thursday 28th Feb 2002
I watched Celebrity ready steady cook last night and they did a very yummy looking no fat basil and burnt tomato soup and I think I'm going to make some soup this weekend to heat up and have before dinner. Think cutting down on portion sizes at dinner by filling up on soup is going to be a good move. Basically my reason is that whilst I have lost weight I still feel stodgy... like I'm eating too much of the wrong foods still. I need to fill up on fruits and vegetables and soup seems a good way of getting more of the veges in. Yes, I have more energy but I want to feel as good as I possibly can. I've seen a few ads for a new product called Eat your greens. I'm thinking it might be a good idea for me to take one a day as I find it very hard to eat enough vegetables as I really don't like that many of them. I really do wish I could eat them but I've tried for years and I just end up gagging. I have emailed them to enquire about the calorific values of the product as they use vegetable oil in them. Apparently that contain the nutrients from one serve of alfafa sprouts. I went to the gym after work and did some cycling then walked home. I've lost another 1/2 kg which is fine but I must admit to being a bit disappointed. I do seem to struggle with losing weight - my body just doesn't want to lose the weight but I will continue to strive for my goals.
Wednesday 27th Feb 2002
Had a good food day today although I ended up eating less than I probably should have because I was busy and also I wasn't hungry. Went to the gym after work and did a slighty different work out - 10 minutes on the crossrobics, 10 mins on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the bike and then 10 mins on the rower without a break in between. I'm feeling really energetic and well although I've noticed my face isn't looking terrific at the moment, still got dark circles around the eyes and a few irritations on my face. Maybe some of the food I'm eating isn't good for me. I'm drinking heaps of water so it isn't that. My horrible skirt was even looser today - I am hanging to toss it out! Euan picked up one of my diet/health type magazines that was lying around the house yesterday and asked if I wanted to be on the cover of one of those magazines one day and the answer is yes. Sometimes I write the article and imagine the pictures in my head when I'm daydreaming. I'd love to go and be made over, wear some lovely clothes and pampered for a day. I guess it's the secret desire I've always harboured to be famous. lol It will happen! I think positive beliefs and imaginings can have an extremely good effect on motivation.
Tuesday 26th Feb 2002
Did another Tomahawk class tonight. I enjoyed it a lot even though one of the two instructors was irritating - really loud. I used the gel seat and it helped. My new heart rate monitor counted 594 calories burnt doing the class! Feeling really happy as well today because I got a bonus at work for helping out with the green office initiative. Life just seems to be working out so nicely at the moment. :-)
Monday 25th Feb 2002
Just call me Robocop!!!!! Wow, that was some workout - I'm in pain but it's good type pain. Feeling really mellow and happy today - that was one of the nicest weekends I've ever had. Did well with my food. I'm off to the gym tomorrow. I needed a break today.
Sunday 24th Feb 2002
What a wonderful weekend I've had! Euan and I got up fairly early and I took my measurements, some of which have gone down - my waist has actually gone down by 3cm. I tried on my barometer jeans and I could actually get them up to the top of my butt so I can tell I have lost cms from that. We went to the gym and I did a weights circuit today - shoulder press, lat pulldown, chest press, squats, leg press and crunches then I finished it off with 20 minutes on the precor machine. The squats really get to work on the inner thighs! I'm probably going to be looking like Arnie tomorrow - well, walking like Robocop anyway! lol Oh yes, the scales also showed 122.5kgs! Mind you, I'd only had a piece of toast and orange juice before going to the gym but hey, those scales are going down! We went to Cargo and picked up some lovely crockery - handpainted plates in wite and blue. We got some dinner plates, side plates and breakfast bowls. We got some beans for our bean bag as well then came home and had lunch which was eggs and bacon with crisp white bread. A good trick is to make scrambled eggs with two whites but only one yolk because the yolks contain the calories in an egg. After lunch we did a big tidy up of the house which is looking good then we relaxed for the rest of the afternoon. Euan made Mediterranean Fish Soup for dinner and I have to say it was absolutley wonderful - garlic, onions, tomatoes and plenty of seafood. The best bit was that it was a huge soup and it was only 390kcals and 4 grams of fat. If anyone wants to recipe feel free to email me at [email protected]. So now I'm feeling very full and very happy. :-)
Saturday 23rd Feb 2002
I've had such a lovely day with Euan. I'm so lucky to have him for my fiancee. :-) We went to a shopping centre that has mainly outlet shops today. Picked up a hilarious card for mum, a garlic slicer, some clothes for Euan, a box of turkish delight and two books - Zen and the art of motor cycle maintenance and Mind Maps. Euan bought me a new Polar Heart Rate Monitor - nothing wrong with my old one but this new one measures the number of calories used while exercising as well as the number fo minutes exercising at the right rate. I also picked up a gel seat to use on the exercie bike - got the one with the extra gel so that should make the class a bit more comfortable from now on!
Friday 22nd Feb 2002
I had a nice day and topped it off with a visit to the gym for the Tomahawk cycling class. We did a couple of extra songs today. My butt still hurts though so I am going to get a gel seat before the next class. Euan and I had a quick bite to eat for dinner then went to see Monsters, Inc which was very cute. I really wanted sonme popcorn but when I checked the calories and fat I realised that I really couldn't fit it in. It's quite horrifying when you think about it. Instead I bought some jelly sweets and a few chocolate buttons.
Thursday 21th Feb 2002
It's been a busy couple of days and I've been too tired to update the website. I've been on a Knowledge Management Course which was excellent by the way and it meant an hours drive each way and I don't really do much driving these days so it really took it out of me. Tonight I got home a bit earlier so I went to the gym to get rid of some energy. I did 20 minutes of the crossrobics and 20 minutes on the bike tonight. I hoped on the scales because today is weigh day. I weigh 123.5kgs!!! I'm so thrilled. I've now lost 4kgs and I'm starting to notice the difference. My eating has been in interesting... I've been okay but haven't eaten much because we've been busy and I wasn't as hungry because I was busy thinking about things other than my stomach! lol
Monday 18th Feb 2002
Bounced outta bed this morning - I do seem to have more energy these days. After my shower I got dressed and put on this velvet top that I like wearing and I've realised that is definately much looser around my tummy area. YAY. Once I start loosing more weight I doubt I'll be able to wear it much longer - it'll probably fall off my shoulders. It is the top I was wearing when I met Euan in real life for the first time and he comments how much more I used to fill it out. I'm still diligently counting my calories and keeping within my limit. I made a yummy Weight Watchers recipe which was Thai Chicken Green Curry. Euan actually hugged me and told me how much he enjoyed it! WOW. Must try more of those recipes. I'm a bit of a magazine freak and I am buying all of the diet and fitness ones at the moment looking for ideas and inspiration. I've never really tried the recipes much before but I will from now on. I walked from the station to the gym which takes about 10 minutes at a brisk pace and then did 30 minutes in the gym. I was surprised that I didn't have more energy but I decided not to push myself too hard. I'm going on Tuesday so I'll make up for it then.
Sunday 17th Feb 2002
Feeling a bit tired today after a late, but very nice night. I managed to stick to one papadum, plain rice and I had some very very yummy prawn tikka. I stuck to drinking mineral water and so I didn't feel bloated this morning. I am very happy with myself for being able to stick to my plan. Today I went to a bridal exhibiton. Even though Euan and I are planning on getting married in Australia I thought it was worth going along to see if I could get any ideas. I found a terrific cake maker called Slattery who do some really wicked customised cakes including "The Top Table" including figures that look like the members of the wedding party! I also found a dress maker who utilises corsets to stunning effect. The company is called Uptight Clothing and I'm serious tempted to get them to do my dress. Eating was so so... calories fine but fat wayyyyyyyyy too high. I'm back to work tomorrow so I'll be focusing on getting the balance right. I've discovered another interesting website in my journey around the internet. This is one is to do with weight lifting from a female perspective. It's Krista Smash's Women's Weightlifting page. I've been holding off doing weights lately due to some problems with tension in my neck and back but from reading her page if I do one decent session a week I will maintain my muscle which increases your metabolism. Just need to decide on my work out plan.
Saturday 16th Feb 2002
It's been a couple of days since I've updated my journal so I'll update on how the last few days have been. My calorie intake on Thursday and Friday was fine, a bit under what the WLR site suggests, however, my fat intake has been too high so I'm going to work on that. I got very disheartened on Thursday night at the gym because my weight was 125kgs. Had a cry when I got home. Just one of those nights that I needed to wallow a bit. It wasn't the best valentine's day ever. lol In the past that would have been me throwing it all in but I'm in a much better mental state these days and I also know this isn't a diet that you do for a few months and then go back to the old eating habits. This is me changing my eating habits for LIFE. Anyway, as I knew I would I was feeling better on Friday. Had a night off from the gym and went this morning instead. Completely chuffed to discover I weigh 123.25kgs! I'm out for Indian tonight so I've been really good and watched my food today. Even stuck to a baked potato and tuna (found somewhere that didn't have mayonaise!) for lunch. I'm also going to stick to one papadum, plain rice and chicken tikka. It'll be lovely to go out with friends and Euan. I pit a meditation tape on this afternoon - I feel very calm and relaxed now.
Wednesday 13th Feb 2002
Feeling really good today. Had an excellent workout and kept to my calorie intake goal and the scale is showing 0.5kg off. Maybe it will show more tomorrow when I have my offical weigh-in. Funny thing is that the WLR site has set me a calorie intake of 2493 cals per day but I'm finding that I'm eating between 1500-2000 and feeling very satisfied. I've got plenty to eat and don't feel like I'm on a diet. I am hoping to lose 1kg per week so I'm going to maintain the online food diary and if I'm not doing so well I can check exactly what I have been eating. I've definately got a lot more energy and that is a damn fine thing. I'm aiming to exercise 5-6 days per week because it feels good. Walking home from the gym tonight I was pleased that I felt good. Normally, I find walking home from the gym a real chore but not tonight.
Tuesday 12th Feb 2002
I've discovered a terrific website for people living in the UK called Weight Loss Resources UK and it's a food diary, exercise tracker and resource rolled into one. It also displays nutritional information for all foods. It is a UK focused site so it is easy to find the brand name products you have eaten. I'm going to find it very useful to make sure I'm eating the right amount of calories and keeping the fat level right. I didn't make it to the gym tonight as Euan and I did the supermarket shop. I felt really good today after my workout yesterday - very strong and fit.
Monday 11th Feb 2002
It's been a good day today. Even though I didn't have the best sleep ever I managed to get through the day without falling asleep at my desk! I ate about the right amount of calories but the silly man in the restaurant gave me cheese with my omelette when I didn't want it. I suppose I could have told him to make me another one but I'd already waited 10 minutes and I just didn't want to wait any longer to eat. After work I went to the gym and had a good hard workout - 20 minutes on the bike, 10 minutes of the crossrobics, 10 minutes on the treadmill with a bit of jogging thrown in for good measure and finished up with 5 minutes on the rower. I feel very alive now. Euan made me a lovely dinner of salmon fillet and leek mash.
Sunday 10th Feb 2002
It's been a hugely busy weekend and I'm finally finding some time on Sunday night to sit down and write about my weekend. First, Friday... I had a good day and went to the gym after work for the Tomahawk class. It was the first full class I have done and it was hard work but it was so nice to do something different to slogging away in the gym. I need to pick up a gel seat because the seat is rather hard on the butt. I'm going to have a look at the other classes the gym offers. After the gym Euan and I went off to Ikea to pick up a desk for Euan. Unfortunately the desk wouldn't fit into the car! lol On Saturday we did lots of tidying up, set up the desk, had a jacket potato at the pub and finally went to see Ocean's Eleven at 11pm. It is an excellent movie and I would recommend it. My favourite site for checking out the reviews on movies is Rotten Tomatoes. It rates Ocean's Eleven as 85% fresh which pretty good. Today we went to the tip to get rid of some rubbish and the supermarket. We had Cullen Skink and bread rolls for lunch. We were meeting some friends in a pub and we decided to have lunch beforehand to save some calories. I ended up having diet pepsi and a mineral water so my halo is shining. I realised something today... I would rather have some decent food before I went to a pub than get there and order something hugely high in calories and then not really enjoy it. I don't miss going out to eat that much for that very reason. If I can be guaranteed that the food will be good I don't mind using some calories on it but there is nothing worse than being disappointed and also fat!
I don't know if anyone reading this has seen Fat Club but it is addictive viewing watching 10 members of the public trying to lose weight. I was reading the book about the series today and I realised that if I was there my first month's weight loss would have been 6 pounds which was better than some of the other females so I am not disheartened. I'm thinking positively that it will be a good week this week and I will continue to work out hard and eat well.
Thursday 7th Feb 2002
Weigh-in day and I'm 125kgs. I'm satisfied with that. Of course I'd have liked it to be more but I'm being realistic. I've been going to the gym for 15 months and in that time I've maintained my weight so I guess I can't really expect the weight to drop off just because I'm eating better. I am doing a lot more cardio so I will keep losing weight. I had my performance review with my boss at work today and I got lots of good feedback so I'm a happy bunny about that.
Wednesday 6th Feb 2002
I'm not going to say I was bad today because I don't think I need to be beating myself up by labeling myself as bad. I did eat a few things that aren't in my healthy eating plan but then again, you should be able to eat in moderation. I gave myself a day off today from the gym as well and I am sure it will help me to feel much more inspired tomorrow. I put on a skirt today that I hate but I still wear because I can't wear my favourites every day. I am pleased to report that it wasn't as tight today! Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I hope I have lost some weight but I'm not going to throw a tantrum if I haven't. Fortunately Euan will be at the gym with me when I use their scales and he can cheer me up if the result isn't a good one.
Tuesday 5th Feb 2002
Mentally some days are better than others... today was fine in all ways until I got to the gym and stepped on the scales. Silly thing to do really but I was really disappointed when the scales were showing 125.5kgs. When I thought about all the hard work I've been putting in working out and watching my eating it really got to me. I've always had a problem with negative self talk and I spent the whole workout dwelling on negative thoughts and no matter how much I tried to talk myself out of it I pretty much failed. Luckily for me Euan is a perfect antidote for my negative self talk so within 10 minutes of getting home I felt a lot better. I KNOW this is going to take time and I've got my head around that but I also want results yesterday! I wont give this up because I want it so badly.
Waves to Michelle. Thanks for signing my guest book. Good luck with your battle - getting married is definately a big incentive isn't it! I would say that it is important to be realistic about how much you can lose by August. Losing 1-2 pounds a week is realistic, any more isn't. All brides look lovely so lose what you can, be happy and you will look gorgeous. :-)
Monday 4th Feb 2002
I spent some time last night listening a CD (A Perfect Love for those who might be interested!) working through some exercises for some online courses with the Virtual University. It was lovely to spend some time thinking about who I am and where I want to end up. I also did a bit of meditation which I should do more often. Think it set me up really well for today which was a relatively stress free day. Ate well, drank plenty of water and had a good workout. I didn't work out quite so hard tonight because I am still feeling tired from the weekend's exercise. Mind you, I still did 50 minutes of cardio. :-) I've booked in to a Tomahawk class on Friday - yay for me! I want to thank Ana and Marcia for their kind words in my guest book. :-) One thing I've realised with my diet attempt this time is that I KNOW I can do it because I am ready to do it and I think most peoplee who have lost weight would say the same.
Sunday 3rd Feb 2002
The Tomahawk Indoor Cycling was very interesting. Very motivational music, great use of lights and it was fun. It was also hard work. Fortunately you can peddle as fast or as slow as you like and there is a resistance setting which can be altered. The seats on the bikes are on the smallish side and my bum certainly was way bigger than the seat which was also quite hard. Feeling a bit tender between my legs today due to the workout but I am pleased that I'm not feeling stiff andf sore in any other part of my body. I can feel I had a good workout but I don't feel in pain - YAY for me. I've been going to the gym for about 15 months now and even though my weight hasn't changed in that time I've certianly improved my fitness. I was really proud of myself - the cycling was only a 20 minute taster and even though I was pretty knackered I went into the gym and did another 20 minutes on the Precor Freewalker. My halo is definately shining. This morning I had a long workout in the gym - 10 mins on the rower, 15 minutes on the Crossrobics machine, 15 mins on the walker then 15 mins on the seated bike. I certainly earned my lunch today! I went to the supermarkt and got some fresh healthy food - roll, chicken breast and salad for lunch followed by fruit salad and low fat yoghurt. I'm really happy as well because I'm under 125kgs on the scales!!! Pretty chuffed - hoping that I'll have lost even more by Thursday weigh-in. My goal of 120kgs is getting closer every day.
I found an interesting website last night while I was trawling around the web - it's about eating disorders and whilst I would never label myself as bulimic or anorexic but I have (had?) an eating disorder. Using food to comfort myself has left me with a body that is huge and uncomfortable. I've been seeing pychiatrists and pychologists on and off for 10 years now and I finally feel like I'm really getting on top of this thing. Anyway, the website is The Something Fishy website on Eating Disorders.
Saturday 2nd Feb 2002
Thursday was the night out to say farewell to one of my collegues. Was a little disapointed with myself on one hand for nibbling a bit more than I should have but on the other hand I had one alcoholic drink and then swithed to diet pepsi. Thing is I'm not going to sit at home and not eat out ever again because that isn't realistic. What is realistic to plan for a night out and make sure that I don't go overboard. The consequence of a late night and early start on Friday morning was that my poor ears were tender all day and I wasn't hearing too well so I made the decision in the morning to have another day off from the gym. The result is that I've woken up this morning feeling very refreshed and ready for my indoor cycling workout.