Laughter is the best medicine, so take a dose of humour, Canuck style!

EZ 2 DO - 2003 Income Tax and Benefit Return Total income Employment income (box 14 on all T4 slips)             101  ________|___   Amount due (Enter amount from line 101)                  102 ________|___   Attach a cheque or money order payable to the  Receiver General, due no later than April 30, 2004.

1)  You stand in "line-ups" at the movies, not "lines".

2)  You understand the phrase: "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine".

3)  You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

4)  You drink pop, not soda.

5)  You know that Francophones, Anglophones and Allophones are not electronic devices.

6)  Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

7)  You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

8)  You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

9)  You have more Canadian Tire money than real money in your wallet.

10) You understand that having an extension cord on your car does not mean that it's an electric car.

11) You're pretty sure the U.S. is holding Wayne Gretsky there against his will.

12) All your Halloween costumes fit over a snowsuit.

13) You know what a toque is.

14) Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

15) You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
 

A real - life radio communication from the records of the USS Carrier Missouri; apparently on a collision course when this was recorded:

American:  This is the USS Missouri. Please turn your ship 10 degrees south to avoid a collision.

Canadian:  I am sorry but we cannot comply. Please turn YOUR ship 10 degrees north to avoid a collision.

American:  I repeat, we are on a collision course with you. Turn your ship 10 degrees south immediately.

Canadian:  I repeat, we cannot comply. Turn YOUR ship 10 degrees north.

American:  THIS IS THE US NAVY CARRIER MISSOURI AND I AM THE CAPTAIN. TURN YOUR SHIP SOUTH RIGHT NOW!

Canadian:  This is the lighthouse. Your call.

Three Americans and three Canadians are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the Americans.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the Canadians.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, after the conference, the Americans decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Canadians don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed American.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of  the Canadians.

When they board the train, the three Americans cram into a restroom and the three Canadians cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Canadians leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."