Night Hawke
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March 2001
Razor Please
© 2001
Night Hawke
Since my last case of Roadrage there's been a lot happening out there. Although I'd love to spend some time on the burlesque stylings of Al Greenspan (not to be confused with soul man Reverend Al Green) strip-teasing for the Street as he slowly peels off interest points there are far more important things for me to be talking about than the economic impact of interest rates.
My hat is decidedly off though to good ol boy James Carville for inventing the myth that 'it's the economy stupid.' (The operative word here being stupid.) That was a hoax designed to fool most of the people for some of the time. It worked so well the Republishams have decided to employ the same sleight of hand tactics in the new administration.
Like all great illusionists the politicians have learned that if you keep people's attention focused on something with one hand you can do just about anything with the other. And, if you can be entertaining enough even if they look at your lips move every once in a while like Edgar Bergen -- they don't care because Charlie McCarthy is funny.
Clinton came in riding the Economy train and kept it on the tracks regardless of his misbehavior by opening the palm he held his Presidential Staff in and saying it's not here -- it's over there -- the good economy -- (stupid). 'Yuk yuk Al -- they went for it again.'
Now comes the re-Bushing of America.
More than twenty years ago slime ball Larry Flynt's Hustler magazine created quite a stir in Cincinnati (and in the pants of adolescent males world-wide) with his avant-garde display of the smoothly shaven fem-fatale. Hairy Supreme court battles were waged and won by the hirsute pornographer (ahem) opening up women all across the fruited plain to the coiffured mons.
This was a great thing for those of us who didn't like plucking short and curlys from our teeth during the gustation of honey pie. But I fear the aerodynamic look has waxed cold as Bush has taken over the pink (er White) house.
Now at one point in time getting a little bush was a good thing in America. But nowadays I fear the little Bush is going to be just one big cover up after another. He started out by hedging on the economy even before he was inaugurated. He would point to shaky stocks on the Street and say 'see-- America needs my budget plan the economy needs a stimulus.'
Of course he knew as long as he was waving the big 'Economy' flag people wouldn't be looking at the fact that the reason the Street had the jitters was because of the long-drawn out uncertainty precipitated by the electile dysfunction suffered by retirees in Florida.
All the Viagra in Bob Dole's garage wouldn't be enough to rectify the dangling Chad problem. So, the Stupreme Court had to step in and appoint a president for us. So now we again have Bush.
The natural consequence of the scare-mongering has been a slide in consumer confidence, the subsequent abysmal Christmas shopping season, and next comes worse than expected quarterly reports, and bang -- we have some real turmoil on the Street and a real slowdown (in growth). Naturally this has our full attention.
But what should have us erect in our seats is the social engineering the Republicram's in the Congress, Senate, and White House are going to start stuffing through the mill. Starting with Bankruptcy Law. Just in time for you to be laid off from work the re-Bushers have decided to seriously alter the rules governing one of the institutions America was founded upon. But wait. These are New Republicans. They're not like the old 'Big Business' Republicans. Another Carvilleism co-opted by the fundamentalist born-again Bush hounds.
Thomas Jefferson filed bankruptcy four times in his lifetime. But, now with the new rules proposed by the House and Senate (to be signed by the little Bush) if you're laid off from work and can't repay all those pre-approved credit card debts at 21% per year the odds are that you won't be able to file the same kinds of Bankruptcy protection you would have once been provided by the courts. It would hurt the banks too much. Poor banks.
Don't get me wrong -- I want to have my tax cut. Don't you? The economy needs it. (pllllt) We could all use a little extra spending money right? Keep your eye on the Tax cut. Pay no attention to the other bills going on behind the curtain.
This will just be the start. The other moralizing bills are yet to come. And what's worse -- I think the country will have the stomach for them. Prodded on by the senseless school shooting problem I'm getting crap like this in my e-mail box:
"Here's a question posed by a student to God:
Dear God,
Why didn't you save the school children in
Littleton,Colorado?
Sincerely,
Concerned Student
........................................................
Dear Concerned Student,
I am not allowed in schools.
Sincerely,
God
Now read below for how this has unfolded in an
incredibly
short period of time:
Let's see, I think it started when
Madeline Murray O'Hare
complained she didn't want any prayer in
our schools.
And we said, OK...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then, someone said you better not read the
Bible in
school, the Bible that says "thou shalt not kill,
thou shalt not
steal, and love your neighbor as yourself."
And we said, OK...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our
children
when they misbehave because their little
personalities would be
warped and we might damage their self-esteem.
And we said, an expert should know what he's
talking about
so we won't spank them anymore...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then someone said teachers and principals
better not
discipline our children when they misbehave. And the
school
administrators said no faculty member in this school
better touch a
student when they misbehave because we don't want
any bad publicity,
and we surely don't want to be sued.
And we accepted their reasoning...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then someone said, let's let our daughters have
abortions
if they want,and they won't even have to tell their
parents.
And we said, that's a grand idea...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then some wise school board member said, since
boys will
be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's
give our sons all
the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun
they desire, and
we won't have to tell their parents they got them at
school.
And we said, that's another great idea...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then some of our top elected officials said it
doesn't
matter what we do in private as long as we do our
jobs.
And we said, it doesn't matter what anybody,
including the
President,does in private as long as we have jobs
and the
economy is good...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then someone said let's print magazines
with pictures
of nude women and call it wholesome down-to-earth
appreciation for the beauty of the female body.
And we said, we have no problem with
that...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And someone else took that appreciation a step
further and
published pictures of nude children and then stepped
further still by making them available on the
Internet.
And we said, everyone's entitled to free
speech...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the entertainment industry said, let's make
TV shows
and movies that promote profanity, violence and
illicit sex...
And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs,
murder,
suicide, and satanic themes...
And we said, it's just entertainment and it has no
adverse
effect and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go
right
ahead...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have
no
conscience, why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't
bother them to kill strangers, classmates or even
themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Undoubtedly, if we thought about it long
and hard enough,
we could figure it out. I'm sure it has a great deal
to do
with...
"WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If
not then just
discard it...but if you discard this thought
process, then don't you dare
sit back and complain about what bad shape this
world is in...
Just something to think about. We should pray for
wisdom for
godly ways to cope with this national nemesis.!
..and soon!
Footnote: Another school shooting yesterday, two
more killed, it is
time to take our schools back and run them like we
want, to teach our
children right from wrong, the earlier the better. "
Now when I was a kid we were not worried that some kid was going to come in and shoot us. No. We were worried that a NUCLEAR Missile was going to hit the school!!!!
This thought process is prima facia evidence of the Re-Bushing of America. It suggests that if every child could just be taught to live, think, walk, and talk like a white, Anglo-Saxon, heterosexual, middle-class protestant we could eliminate violence. Is this really the thought process that's going to solve this problem?
If kids have to pray aloud in school then they aren't being taught at home. If they can't find God there and pray to themselves then they aren't being exposed to any spiritual teaching -- at home. If the intent is to impose these views on someone else's kids besides the author's (who are obviously the problem in this thought process) then they would violate the civil rights of the other parents and students.
This is something we need to think about with the current Stupreme Court.
But really; how many Southern Baptists living in Utah want their children to be forced to read The Book of Mormon in class in public school? I suspect not many. But they didn't think of that.
If they want to pray at home to God to stop school shootings that's fine. If they want to teach their children that it is a lack of God in public life that causes death -- that's their prerogative. However, the next time a tornado strikes a church full of people in Alabama -- they may get a little confused.
I make no argument that the public education system in this country needs no overhaul -- starting with the NEA. But, you know, if we made education our first priority and had started out paying teachers a decent wage in the first place -- the NEA may not have gotten so out of synch with reality.
If people want to live in total safety -- there is no safer place on the planet for day to day life than the interior of Communist China. (provided you don't want any personal freedom and don't publicly or privately criticize the government.)
This is how America will be re-Bushed. I'm trying to read his lips. But it's getting a little hard.
Could I have a Razor Please?
We must laugh at a man to avoid crying for him.-- Napoleon Bonaparte
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