Car Rental From Hell

OK, last month I decided to take a jaunt up to NYC for the weekend. Just to get away from my white trash hell for a little bit. I had things all planned out. Reservation made at Enterprise for a compact car. I'd pick it up on Friday night and return it at the same time on Monday.

Whole thing was planned out as well as I could. On returning from work on Friday night, Victor (my partner at work) and I would drive straight to Enterprise. I'd get the car, we'd drive back to the shop, I'd unload all of my crap from the van, drive home. I was already packed. Saturday morning, I would wake up, shower, brush my teeth, drop the toothbrush in the bag, and go.

First problem: My check card declined at Enterprise. Odd. I just had a $425 check direct deposited at midnight. Shouldn't decline like that. Because I use a small, local, independant bank, and it's not normal business hours, there's no way to talk to anyone to find out what's going on. So I can't rent the car that night. Instead of leaving at 9, I have to go to the bank, figure out what the hell is going on. Turns out that on Wednesday evening, I had managed to spend EXACTLY the amount in the account. And then, without asking or even notifying me, the bank closed the account after 24 hours of a 0 balance. So it had been closed for a couple hours when the direct deposit was supposed to happen. Figures. This complicates things considerably, since you need a card (an active card with money available) to rent a car.

My parents, good folks that they are, decide to loan me $420 to deposit to turn my card back on so I can rent a car. I go back to the bank, deposit the cash, and then go back to Enterprise. Card still declines. They say it'll decline for 24 hours after it declines the first time. So no dice there. I go to the next rental company in the line (this was at Dulles Airport, they have a bunch of rental places lined up along Autopilot Drive. There, you must be 25 to rent a car. On to the next place. They don't take check cards. On to the next place. Card declines. I take a look at the receipt from the bank. It's dated Monday. God damn it. I deposit cash on Saturday morning and don't have access to it until Monday (actually Tuesday, since the money doesn't post until midnight of that business day). The 3rd strike against Community Bank of Northern Virginia (the first strike isn't given here, happened years ago).

Brief recap. I do not have a car, have struck out at Enterprise twice, and at three other companies. My original departure time has been postponed indefinately, since I still don't have a car. I had a short night's sleep, I'm frustrated and rapidly getting cranky since I try not to smoke when I'm around my parents (seeing as how each of them lost a parent to smoking-related causes).

I continue down Rental Row. I've called the bank, and wrangled an override authorization code out of them that doesn't seem to work anywhere. Strike 4. Finally, we get to Thrifty Car Rental. The last one. My last chance to get a car. My card declines and the authorization code doesn't work (of course, because Community Bank of Northern Virginia is full of nancy-boys and rejects from all the other banks). I'm desperate. This is my last chance to get the fuck out of Dodge for a couple of days. I start talking to the clerk. What can I do to make this happen? My dad is outside, can he cover this until I get back? I'll be able to pay it on Monday. He takes pity on me. Goes back to talk to his manager for a minute. Comes back, says he'll photocopy the credit card and his driver's license, not actually take any money out until I come back and pay, at which point there is no need to take money out. I run out and get Dad, who has been patiently waiting in the car for well over an hour now, and, unbeknownst to me, has yet to eat breakfast. A trooper. Anyway, he comes in. Tells me I need comprehensive coverage. As if I've ever wrecked a car before. OK, OK, fine. Everything's cool. Sign there, give him your card and license....Finally!!! Then he asks me what kind of car I want. Ummmm, a compact, please (I'm always so polite, and besides, that's what I'm paying for). He says want something sporty? Um, no, I'd rather have something with 4 doors. No real reason for that, but if it's "sporty", I guarantee I get a speeding ticket before I'm out of Virginia. He asks if I've ever driven a PT Cruiser. This is a curious question. I'm pretty sure the PT Cruiser isn't considered a "compact". But I say that I haven't, but would like to. So he gives me one at the compact price. God damn!!! From having my weekend go up in flames to driving a PT Crusier. Cool deal. God makes me run in the wheel (along with my dad) for hours, but then gives me a tasty treat.

As an aside, the PT Crusier is an awesome machine. A bit weak on the low-end acceleration, and the low front bumper tends to drag on steep inclines hit at speed, but great. Small, peppy, all the controls are easily accessible once you get used to them.....I want one.

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