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7 weeks ago, 5 weeks before he left this time, Steven
came to me again, saying that he did not think he loved
me the way a husband should love a wife. He also bowled
me over by telling me that he believed that he was in
love with another woman. Now, mind you, this is a woman
that I have had uneasy feelings about since the VERY
FIRST day that I met her. That was 5 years ago. I told my
husband then that she wanted him. He thought I was crazy,
as she was getting married (for the 2nd time... she was
23 then). I told him that I am a woman, and I know how
women think, and she had it in her mind that if things
were different, she would want to be with him. Boy, would
I like to have been wrong about that one!
Apparently, though they had had no contact over the past year, Jen decided that after her divorce from her 2nd husband, she needed to tell my husband that she loved him. She called him and told him that, and he said a flood of emotions came over him, and he told her that he thought he felt the same way... (I am trying not to cry right now... not easy.) He came home after 2 days, and told me he was leaving me. Now, there are a few catches here. One, though my husband and her served on the same ship together (they were both in the Navy) they never spent any time together outside of working on the ship. She soon after was medically discharged from the Navy, and moved away with her then husband. We were then relocated to Newport RI. Any communication they have had has been either through email or via telephone.
Okay, this time my husband did leave. I was devastated. But! AH HA! There is always a but, isn't there? He came home the next morning. I had called him at his fathers house during the night, crying. We talked for a long time, and I asked him to please not do this, please don't throw 14 years down the drain for someone he thought he might love. He said he was coming home, because he realized that I was right. And he did. Again, we talked and talked and talked. I cried, and told him how betrayed I felt, and how very much he hurt me. He cried, and talked like I had never heard him talk before. He told me that I was his love, his inspiration, his guiding light, his teacher, his saving grace, his salvation, and his connection with God. I had faith that he was telling me the truth... still do. He concluded that he did want to go to counseling, as he could not understand how and why he got these ideas in his head and then just ran with them without thinking them through, or about the ramifications. He was sincere. I will not say he 'looked' or 'seemed' sincere... he WAS.
You must understand. My husband, one, is not a very emotional person. He also is not a good liar. He has never, in all of our time together been able to pretend to like someone he did not like, do something he did not want to do, or be somewhere he did not want to be. He has always been a very what you see is what you get type of person. I again had no reason to disbelieve him
The day after he came home he called up Jen in Connecticut, and told her in no uncertain terms to leave him and us alone and stop messing with his mind (His language was not that nice, though). He told her that he saw through her, and could see what I was talking about when I said she planted a seed so many years ago, hoping it would grow. I spoke to her during that conversation, very calmly I might add. At the end of it, I felt compassion for her. I even told her if she were closer to our home I would invite her over for coffee so that we might continue to talk. The following week I told Steven that I could not live without trusting him, and wondering what he was thinking or doing. I told him that I gave him back my complete trust, and unconditional love. He thanked me, and accepted it.
Everything was good once again, right? Wrong!
Please sign my guestbook and let me know you were here! Thank You!
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