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| I'm all
alone now, right? I must be... there is no one with me,
all of the rooms are dark, even my two cats and my dog
are nowhere to be seen. The fish seem content, and the
hamster is not running in his wheel. Complete
quiet. Yes, I was alone. Totally alone in the world. I
thought, "I could die tonight, and no one would
know, and no one would care." It was then, right at
that moment that I heard, or felt someone say, "I
would care." I ran to my bed, turned on the light,
and grabbed my Bible, which was there because I read it
every single night! It amazes me how I never ever thought
to go to my Bible and seek comfort. How, when I was
thinking, I can't get through this alone, it never
occurred to me that I didn't have to.
But, at least it finally did hit me. I read through my Bible, crying, reading it out loud, and practically yelling it. I called on Jesus to take away this pain, please! Take this hurt from me, and make me strong! I cried and prayed all night long. At some point I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I was right back into praying and crying again. Finally at about 4 am I got up to use the bathroom. On my way out, something drew me to my computer. I went to it, and opened up Internet Explorer. I don't know why, and I don't physically know how, but I typed into the search engine "Prayers". I got a search result of over 60,000 hits. Do you know I sat in front of my computer from 4 am Friday morning until 1 am the next morning, doing nothing put putting out prayer requests? I only got to do about 3,000 because after that the search engine said it had given me the 3,000 relevant pages. I cried some that day, but nowhere near as much as I had the previous days. I continued to pray while I was typing. It actually felt like one very long prayer. I prayed for others whose prayer requests I came across. My friend Brenda came upstairs a couple of times to check on me, and at one point, I think she thought I was crazy. She asked me "Are you still doing that prayer thing?" "Yep" I said without looking away from my computer.
I started getting responses immediately. I cried every time I read that someone was lifting my family up in prayer. I could not believe that there were so many people out there that were offering me heart felt prayers. So many people sharing their heartbreak with me. So many people comforting me. People that I had never met, and will probably never meet face to face in this world. God truly blessed me.
Now, I know that many people turn to God when they are in need, and then forget about him when the pain is gone, or the problem solved. That is not the case with me. See, I never turned away from God. I always have had a very personal relationship with him. I have always turned to him when in need, and when giving thanks. I always saw things that happened in my life as a part of His plan. I even thank him now that I got laid off from my job 2 weeks before my husband left.At the time I cried about it, but now I realize that I would have lost my job, or quit, because I would not have been able to be the professional person that I would have needed to be. Now, with things the way they are, I can concentrate on myself and my son, and MY God! I have the time to get our life together, and follow God wherever he leads me.
I have always witnessed to people. Very unobtrusively, but I found that the slower you go with them, the easier it is for people to soak it up. My main thing at work was always correcting people when they used the Lord's name in vain. I would simply look at them and say "Jeepers Criminy" as opposed to what they said. I worked with this one girl who made me laugh all day long, but she has a mouth like a trucker. Don't ya know I finally broke her, and at first, she started correcting herself, and then she stopped saying it? She told me not too long ago that she caught herself correcting other people. Now, that's a start.
So, this is where God is leading me right now. I have always loved to write. Poems, stories, anything. But I gave it up a long time ago. Not for lack of interest, but lack of material. I only wrote poems when I was sad, and I hadn't been sad for a very long time. Stories... well, they never seemed to have enough substance for me. So, I put it off, always saying, someday. Today is someday, and I am starting with this. This is my testament and Praise to Our Lord above, and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Will you continue on my journey with me? I hope so. I have so much to share with you. I know, you're saying "Like this wasn't enough?' Well, really, this was the short version. My life has been a blessing in every way, every single day. And it continues. I have learned about Marriage Restoration. I will not listen to people that tell me to get over it, and get on with my life. This has happened to me for a reason, and I refuse to let that reason slip through my fingers. That reason is you. God wants and needs me to tell you my story, and how He has touched me, so that you can recognize Him in your life, and feel the Glory of His Love.
Now, I know there are many of you out there that are cringing, and thinking, "That’s it, I'm done with this broad." But wait! Don't you ever stop in the grocery store and just read the tabloid headlines? Do you really believe there was a 3-headed cow born to an ape family that speaks? No, but you read it anyway, right? Because it's entertaining. So, continuing to follow me on my journey will do you no harm. Maybe you'll even learn something.
No matter what, I promise you, it wont be boring, and there are NO 3 headed cows in it either! So check out the journal.
Please sign my guestbook and let me know you were here! Thank You!
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