Jerry Springer Show: Inuyasha, Naruto and Goku
The Final Encounter
Scene Selection
1) Inuyasha and Kagome (scroll down)
2) Naruto and Kakashi
3) Goku and Piccolo...?
4) Getting Violent
5) Springer's Last Stand
6) Bonus
Once again, it is time for the Jerry Springer show. Typically a show
where the trashiest people of America appear to make fools of
themselves, today is different than usual. The crowd is full of Japanese people.
That is because, for the fourth time, Jerry Springer has moved his show
to Japan. The past three times have been unkind to Mr. Springer. The
first time, he was destroyed by Inuyasha's Wind Scar. The second time,
Jaken set him ablaze. The third time, Sesshomaru nearly electrocuted
him. This time, he hopes that things will be different. He walks out
into the studio with the crowd chanting his name.
Crowd: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry: Thank you, thank you. I am happy to be back in Japan!
Let's move on to today's topic. Anime heroes seem to be unstoppable
forces on the television screen, but, just as normal people do, they have
flaws. These flaws will be exposed today and hopefully removed. Our
first guest is...
Jerry looks at his note card.
Jerry: Not him...not again! Why must he always haunt me?
He lowers his head.
Jerry: Please welcome Inuyasha and Kagome...
The song "Change the World" is played in the background. Inuyasha is
dragged onto the set by Kagome. She promptly sits him down in a chair
and she sits next to him.
Kagome: Hi Jerry!
Inuyasha: FEH! Wait...since when do you have a body, Springer?
Weren't you just a head last time?
Jerry: I'd rather not explain the details of how I got a body.
Now, Kagome, what is Inuyasha's biggest flaw?
Inuyasha: I HAVE NO FLAWS! I'M PERFECT! $#%&@ PERFECT!
Kagome: That's his problem. He's so...angry. I tried sending
him to a doctor, but that didn't help.
Jerry (whispering): Have you tried sending him over a cliff?
Inuyasha: WHAT?!
Jerry: Nothing, nothing. We'll get to your problems once all
of the guests are introduced.
Inuyasha: I HAVE NO PROBLEMS! I AM PERFECT! PERFECT!!!!
Kagome: SIT!
Inuyasha is pulled to the floor, which draws a laugh from the
crowd.
Jerry: Moving on...our next guests come from a popular series
that you may be familiar with. Please welcome Naruto Uzumaki and Kakashi
Hatake.
�R*O*C*K*S� is played on the sound system. Naruto, like Inuyasha, is
dragged onto the set by Kakashi. The small ninja kicks and screams as
Kakashi slams him into a seat. Inuyasha looks at him, blinks, and then
looks at Kakashi. Kakashi ignores Inuyasha and sits next to
Naruto.
Jerry: He's a rambunctious child, isn't he?
Naruto: What does that mean?
Kakashi: Shut up.
Naruto: It means "shut up?"
Kakashi: No...YOU shut up. Springer-san, Naruto's problem is
that he doesn't think very often.
Naruto: I think a lot! Believe it!
Kakashi: OK. What's the capital of Japan?
Naruto: New Japan City. Next question.
Kakashi: Naruto, there is no such place as "New Japan City."
Naruto: What happened to it? Did someone destroy it?
Inuyasha: This kid is a moron.
Naruto turns to Inuyasha.
Naruto: You want to start something? I'll tear those ears off
and shove them up your poophole, believe it!
Inuyasha (rolling up a sleeve): Is that so?
Kakashi: Naruto! Stop pestering that man. Those aren't his
ears; they're obviously some type of growth or a fake costume piece. No
one has ears on top of their head.
Inuyasha: THESE ARE REAL!
Kakashi looks at them and then glances down at Kagome's chest.
Kakashi: Hmm...at least SOMETHING between you two is real.
Kagome: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!
Jerry: Calm down...allow me to introduce our next guests.
Arguably the most popular anime in the world, Dragon Ball Z has captured the
hearts of fans worldwide. Now, let's hear it for Goku and Piccolo!
No one comes out from backstage.
Jerry: I said... please welcome Goku and Piccolo!
Nothing.
Jerry: What is going on?
A security guard comes out and talks to Jerry.
Guard: They're not here. Apparently, Goku saw something shiny
and he chased after it. Piccolo is trying to bring him back.
Jerry: Then who do we have?
"READY STEADY GO!" blares over the speakers and out come the Elric
Brothers, Edward and Alphonse. Ed is not happy as he too is dragged onto
the stage. Al drops him into a seat and sits next to him.
Naruto: Whoa! It's a knight, believe it!
Al: I'm not a knight, I'm--
Ed: This is stupid. I hate being here! We should be out trying
to get the Philosopher's Stone or something.
Al: But Brother, it was your idea to come here. You wanted to
take a break.
Ed: I did not!
Al: You did too.
Ed: I did not!
Inuyasha: Hey, midget! Pipe down, will ya?
Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET?
Inuyasha: You, now zip it!
Ed: Nice pants. I hope that Aladdin knows that you stole
them.
Inuyasha: Who is Aladdin?
Jerry: Alphonse, what is Edward's flaw that you wish to have
corrected?
Al: My brother won't admit it but he's sensitive about his
height.
Ed: I AM NOT!
Naruto: He's not short, he's vertically challenged, believe
it!
Ed: Go to Hell! You're not exactly Shaquille O'Neal
yourself!
Naruto: I'm a growing boy, believe it!
Kakashi: Naruto, be quiet!
Naruto: No way! I'm not going to get made fun of by this guy
and his Rapunzel hairdo!
Ed: RAPUNZEL!?
Inuyasha: Who?
Kagome: She's a character in a fairy tale.
Ed: Who are you calling a fairy?
Kagome: I wasn't...
Ed: I should use some alchemy to turn you into a bag of dog food
or something!
Naruto: Then the guy with the white hair will eat it, believe
it!
Inuyasha: I WON'T EAT KAGOME!
Al: This is crazy...Mr. Springer, when will you offer us
help?
Jerry: I'm not going to. I lied. I knew that a fight like this
would ensue, so I had you brought onto the show. I wanted Goku to be
here, but it seems that Ed is a better guest than he was.
Inuyasha: A waste of time! I knew it! This time, I'm going to
kill you for good, Springer!
Inuyasha draws Tetsusaiga.
Naruto: His sword...it's huge, believe it!
Ed: What's with the furry powderpuff near the hilt, chief?
Inuyasha: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU DWARF!
Inuyasha turns towards Ed and swings Tetsusaiga.
Crowd: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Inuyasha: WIND SCAR!!
Ed quickly uses alchemy to create a wall from the ground to block the
Wind Scar.
Inuyasha: No fair!
Naruto: Whoa! You�re a witch!
Ed: Men aren't witches!
Naruto: You're a man-witch!
Kakashi: I feel like having a Sloppy Joe now.
Ed turns his auto-mail arm into a blade and sticks it under Naruto's
throat.
Ed: You know something? I'm sick of you. I should chop your
head off.
Naruto smirks and makes a shinobi hand sign.
Naruto: SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!
There are now several Naruto clones all over the stage.
Naruto Clones: Prepare to get OWNED!
Ed: Impressive. But must you guys always shout the name of the
move before you do it? "WIND SCAR!" "SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Just do
the move and be done with it.
Kakashi covers his face with his hands, embarrassed by the whole
situation.
Inuyasha: I'll kill all of you and shout if I damn well please!
WIND SC--
Kagome: SIT!!
Inuyasha is pulled to the ground again.
Inuyasha: What was that for?
Kagome: Instead of fighting each other, fight Springer! He's
the one who lured us all here and wasted our time!
Kakashi: Agreed. That man must be destroyed.
Al: Destroying is a little harsh. Let's complain to his boss or
something.
Naruto Clones: You're a weenie, believe it!
Al: Weenie? I'm an artificially flavored miniature sausage made
from assorted meats and chemicals? That doesn't make sense...
Ed: Hey...check out Springer.
Jerry is glowing. He grins at Inuyasha and the others.
Jerry: I also brought you here so I could kill you! Inuyasha,
this body is an expensive mechanical reconstruction that was made just
for me! And I got it from...
Ed (mumbling): Let me guess...Winry?
Jerry: ...Winry Rockbell!
Ed: Figures.
Kakashi: But why kill the rest of us?
Jerry: I brought you here to bring up the ratings. That, and
you threatened my life just now. "Agreed. That man must be
destroyed."
Kakashi: Oh yeah.
Jerry's body opens up to reveal several weapons extending from his
arms, legs, chest, back, and abdomen. The weapons include missiles, guns,
swords, grenades, daggers, hammers, a flamethrower, and a boxing glove
attached to a stick.
Ed: Holy crap on a stick.
Al: Actually Brother, that's a boxing glove.
Ed: That's not what I--never mind.
Naruto Clones: He's a monster, believe it!
Inuyasha: If you say that ONE MORE TIME...
Jerry: Now you'll pay for ruining my show and my body all those
months ago! DIE INUYASHA!
Voice: KA...ME...HA...ME...HA!!!!
A large ray of light bursts through the side wall of the studio and
blows Jerry into oblivion. All that remains is a pile of ashes. Everyone
turns to see Goku and Piccolo standing in the hole that was just
made.
Goku: Are we late for the show?
Piccolo: You just killed the host, you idiot!
Goku: We can revive him with the Dragon Balls!
Inuyasha and Co.: NO!
Goku: Let's go, Piccolo! Funny, I think that this is the first
time that I've arrived at a battle where everyone isn't already beat up
and/or killed...
Piccolo: Yeah, you have a nasty habit of doing that...
Goku and Piccolo fly off. Kagome, Al, and Kakashi chase after them to
prevent them from bringing Jerry back to life. Ed, Naruto (the clones
have vanished), and Inuyasha all stand together on the stage.
Ed: I'm out of here. See you losers later.
Naruto: I'm not a loser, believ--
Naruto is punched in the face by both Inuyasha and Ed. He falls
backward, unconscious. Ed walks away. Inuyasha steals Naruto's headband and
puts it on.
Inuyasha: I'm a ninja, hee hee! Hi-ya!
Inuyasha practices martial arts moves as he walks off the set.
THE END
And so ends the Jerry Springer/Inuyasha fanfics. I wanted the
"series" to go out with a bang, so I brought characters from other series in
for a crossover. No more Jerry. I think that it's best to stop before
I "jump the shark", if I haven�t already. Thanks for reading and stay
tuned (or something) to your computers for my next Inuyasha comedy
story coming soon! ^_^
BONUS
Naruto (in female form): Inuyasha, what do you want me to do
with my Sexy Jutsu like this?
Inuyasha: Shhh! Here he comes!
Miroku walks towards them. He looks at Naruto.
Miroku: Mmm-hmm. I must say that you are exquisite. Would you
mind bearing my children?
Naruto: What a lame pick-up line. I'm a dude, believe it!
Miroku: What?!
Inuyasha: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Miroku (running away): AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
THE END