Jerry Springer Show: Inuyasha&Kagome
The crowd applauds as Jerry announces the topic and introduces the guests.
Jerry: �Thank you. Thank you. Today, our topic is �love triangles�. Two girls
after one guy�two guys after one girl...you know the deal. Our first guest comes to us all
the way from Japan. Please welcome high school student Kagome Higurashi!�
The crowd applauds as Kagome walks onto the set. She is wearing her trademark school
uniform. Kagome takes a seat and waves to the crowd.
Jerry: �So, Kagome. Explain your situation to us.�
Kagome: �Thanks for having me, Jerry. Well, there�s this guy that I like. His name
is Inuyasha��
Jerry: �Inuyasha? Bizarre name.�
Kagome: �Heh heh, yeah. Anyway, I have feelings for him�and I think he feels the
same way. But every time I think we get closer, he chases after some zombie woman!�
Jerry: �Zombie?�
Kagome: �Yes! She�s the walking dead! I�m alive, but he won�t give me the time of
day!�
Jerry: �Interesting. Let�s welcome Inuyasha and hear his side of the story.�
Inuyasha comes onto the set. He is booed. Inuyasha grunts and gives the audience the
finger. He crosses his arms and slumps down next to Kagome.
Jerry: �Nice ears.�
Inuyasha: �Bite me. Kagome, why are we here? We should be chasing Naraku!�
Kagome: �Inuyasha, this is important to me! I want to get this cleared up once and
for all.�
Inuyasha: �
FEH! I�m out of here.�
Inuyasha gets up and starts to walk away�but Kagome isn�t having that.
Kagome: �Inuyasha!
SIT BOY!�
Inuyasha falls face first to the floor. The crowd erupts in laughter. He staggers to his
feet.
Inuyasha: �You see...it's crap like that. That�s why I can�t commit to you. You
abuse me and mistreat me...Kikyo would never do something like that!�
Jerry: �Kikyo?�
Kagome: �She�s the zombie.�
Inuyasha: �She�s
NOT a zombie!�
Kagome: �She�s dead but not really dead...technically, she�s a zombie. And besides,
you say I mistreat you? She pinned you to a tree with an arrow!�
Inuyasha: �That was a misunderstanding.�
Jerry: �That�s some misunderstanding.�
Inuyasha: �Shut up! You�re getting on my nerves!�
Jerry: �We have a surprise for you both. We actually have Kikyo in the studio with
us!�
Inuyasha: �Wha--what?!�
Jerry: �Please welcome Kikyo!�
Kikyo charges onto the set and lunges after Kagome.
Kikyo: �Who the #$% are you calling a zombie, you %#&!�
Kikyo and Kagome start fighting with each other. As they fight, Inuyasha looks on in
disbelief. Security rushes onto the stage and tries to separate the two. Kikyo grabs onto
Kagome�s hair and pulls it hard. Security finally manages to pull them apart. Kagome sees
a handful of her hair in Kikyo�s hand. Kagome takes off a shoe and throws it at Kikyo and
hits her between the eyes. Angered, Kikyo runs back and attacks Kagome. They wrestle and
fall to the ground. The fans chant �JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!�
As security pulls them apart, Jerry goes over to get some response from an audience member.
It�s Miroku.
Miroku: �Wow! What a fight! If only we had a mud pit!�
Miroku�s �girlfriend�, Sango, is right next to him. She promptly slaps him across the
face. Then, she drags him by the ear and they leave. Jerry rubs his chin with
intrigue.
Jerry: �Abusive relationships...we�ll do another show on that next week...�
Kikyo, Inuyasha, and Kagome are seated. They�re all separated from each other. Jerry gets
ready to talk to Kikyo.
Jerry: �Zombie, huh? You�re the prettiest zombie I�ve ever seen.�
The crowd laughs. Kikyo is not amused.
Kikyo: �I despise all living things�including annoying talk show hosts wearing
glasses.�
Jerry: �I see. So, tell us what's going on.�
Kikyo: �Inuyasha and I are supposed to be together. We were a couple until some &%$
named Naraku ruined everything. I ended up dying, Inuyasha ended up getting stuck to a
tree...�
Kagome: �And who�s fault was that?�
Kikyo: �
SHUT UP! This is all Naraku�s fault. And Kagome, you should butt
out. I�m a woman, you�re a girl. Which would Inuyasha rather have?�
Kagome: �Why don�t we ask him? Inuyasha...this is it. Will you choose me or
Kikyo?�
Inuyasha nervously sweats as he is stared down by both Kikyo and Kagome. He scratches his
head. Inuyasha gulps and then twiddles his thumbs.
Inuyasha: �I choose...uh...um...I choose...
FEH! I want to kill Naraku. I�m
out of here!�
Inuyasha gets up, Kagome tells him to
�SIT!� and he falls to the floor again. Kikyo
smiles.
Kikyo: �See, Inuyasha? If she loved you, she wouldn�t hurt you like that. Choose
me.�
Kagome: �Correct me if I�m wrong, but don�t you want to drag him into Hell?�
Inuyasha: �I�m in Hell right now...mission accomplished.�
Jerry grins and talks again.
Jerry: �Well, Kikyo. You say that Naraku is the problem. What if I told you that
he�s backstage?�
Inuyasha pulls out Tetsusaiga and it transforms.
Inuyasha: �Where is he?
I�LL KILL HIM!!!�
Inuyasha runs backstage and the camera follows after. Naraku is in the green room drinking
a cup of coffee. Inuyasha storms in and swipes Tetsusaiga. Naraku dodges and splashes his
hot coffee in Inuyasha�s face. The half-demon reels in pain as Naraku runs off. Inuyasha
chases after him, rubbing his face. Naraku has a limo waiting for him in the parking
garage. He gets in and the vehicle drives off. The license plate reads �UP YOURS�.
Inuyasha screams while pursuing the limo.
Inuyasha: �YOU WON�T GET AWAY THIS TIME!
WIND SCAR!!!!
�
Inuyasha unleashes a HUGE Wind Scar that blows the car into flaming pieces. Inuyasha puts
away Tetsusaiga and heads back to the set.
Jerry can�t believe what he just saw. Inuyasha comes back onto the set. Jerry then goes
to another crowd member for reaction. It�s a large woman, obviously wearing a wig.
Woman: �I don�t see why you�re fighting over him. He needs to cut his hair and get
a job!�
The crowd cheers. Inuyasha grinds his teeth and notices a familiar face among the people.
It�s Koga.
Koga: �Hey Kagome! Let the necrophilia-hound have Kikyo. I�ll treat you like a
queen!�
Inuyasha gets angry. He runs off the set and starts to fist-fight with Koga. Kagome
blushes while security tries to separate Inuyasha and Koga.
Kagome: �Inuyasha always gets so jealous...he does love me��
Kikyo: �This proves nothing.�
Just then, Naraku enters by crashing through the roof. Everyone stands in awe as the evil
villain hovers overhead.
Naraku: �You fooled me, Springer. You said this show�s topic was �evil and the
people who practice it�. However, you did manage to get most of my enemies in the same
place. For that, I must thank you by sending you into the deepest part of Hell along with
Inuyasha and his friends!�
Inuyasha: �I thought I killed you!�
Naraku: �Nope. I�m alive. If I was dead, I couldn�t do this.�
Naraku sticks out his tongue. Inuyasha pulls out Tetsusaiga again. Jerry holds up his
hands.
Jerry: �You guys can�t fight now!�
Inuyasha: �Why not?!�
Jerry: �The show is almost over.�
Inuyasha: �Screw you! Didn�t I say you were getting on my nerves?!
WIND SCAR!�
Jerry is destroyed by a Wind Scar, along with a good portion of the audience. Naraku
laughs and flies away. Inuyasha jumps through the hole in the roof and chases after him.
Kagome and Kikyo look at each other.
Kagome: �Um...we should go before the cops show up.�
Kikyo: �Good idea.�
They run away and the show draws to a close.
THE END