- ISSUE #14 -
Interview with Sauron Part 2 / Articles / Advertisements / Horrorscopes
Funny Captions and Puzzles / Paper Staff / Back to Mordor
Editorial Issue #14 - By Dark SnoGoon
A Day In The Life of Sauron (not our Sauron!)
... snore ... snore ... snore ... BEEPBEEPBEEP ... Oh, my back hurts so much!
Why do I have to wake up so early? Well, time for my morning fire bath ...*walks
downstairs*... Ah, what a horrible day! I can feel my armour shrinking at the
thought of a trip to the Pass already ... Which knob is the blue flame again, I
think it’s the left one, AAAHHH! That hurts! Why is it so hot? Here, orange
flame, a bit cooler ... Oh that feels so good. I need to tell the Witch-king
about this ... OK, time to cool off ... This is so refreshing ... Time for
breakfast ... What’s on the menu today? ... Ah, I see; Dwarf skin loaf, Elf
Flakes with a cup of fresh boiled blood, or . . a pastrami sandwich? What is
that ... Chef, what is the pastrami sandwich ... That’s really weird! Mustard?
Who would ever grow a weed like that? And put it on food? Well, worth a try ...
Hey, this isn’t so bad! Needs some seasoning though ... Whatcha got? ... Oh, my
favourite spice, Ground Hobbit Toenail. Great on everything .... Now, when is
this Frodo guy scheduled to arrive? I don’t want to miss him ... What!!! He got
here 30 minutes ago! What do I do? Melkor would not be pleased ... Gotta run ...
*runs over camera crew as he heads for stairs* crunchfizzlepfffft!
(Disclaimer: Any resemblance to Plaza members is purely coincidental and
unintended by the author.)