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An Interview with . . . Sauron (Part 2)

*Entering a cold room at the side of Sauron and the Witchqueen's parlour in Barad-Dur, I came face-to-face with our mighty ruler, Sauron two weeks ago. The room is scattered with body pieces and blood stains are slashed up the walls and this will be the place where I will conduct part two of a hard hitting interview with our evil ruler*

Elberone: Well my Lord, I can tell you that part one of our interview was well received

Sauron: That's good, and . . .

Elberone: And we need to ask you just a few more questions. So I'll start off straight away with a question by Seregon who asks, "Is Miss Luthy a messy eater?"

Sauron: She’s not a messy eater, though her table manners leave a lot to be desired. Not a crumb gets wasted, but she eats with her fingers and belches a lot.
 

Elberone: Mmmm, Nice! Manalkar asks, "What do you think of the colour pink?"

Sauron: It’s a very nice colour in it’s proper place, which is Rivendell.
 

Elberone: We have also received some questions from your wife Miss Luthy. "Where are those Cave Troll slaves you promised me when we were married?", she asks!

Sauron: In the caves ( how did she get to be involved? )
 

Elberone: Well Lord Sauron, our readers are scattered all over Middle Earth, I have it on good authority that the Herald reaches as far as the Shire. Anyway (changes subject at evil glance from Sauron) your wife also wanted us to ask you why she doesn't get flowers any more?

Sauron: Ack! You know what? She’s Yavanna for goodness sake! Why should I bring her flowers when she has them growing out of her dress, as well as he apartments in Barad-dûr, at will. She really is quite demanding of the ridiculous.
 

Elberone: Indeed, Women! Our final question to you is what do you feel that you have accomplished most during your rule?

Sauron: I’m pretty much undefeated in the Battle Arena, unless you count that silly Valie Vana. Er, the reform currently underway for the army is looking pretty exciting.

Elberone: Well Lord Sauron, Thank You very much for answering these questions for the readers of the Mordor Herald. It is much appreciated. I shall be on my way now as I have taken up enough of your time . . .

*Once again, Thank You to Sauron for agreeing to conduct an interview with us. Hopefully next time, you will be able to read part one of an interview with the WitchQueen. But from me, Elberone, just outside Barad-Dur, I'll see you next issue . . .*