TTT6

So, the 3rd last installment in my travel diary is here, and let's all go to the Base Ball!

2-8

Let's go Blue Jays, Lets go! Clap clap. I'm at the Base ball, coolness. Gee the grass is in premo condition, it almost looks like astro turf! What? The Blue Jays have fire works when they run out onto the field! It's 12:30 in the afternoon! I've just been informed that it is astro turf! Cool! Cool, some guy just hit the ball and some other guy threw it, but he was safe. Man a lot of people are wearing blue! Oh, they're the empty seats. Strike 3 and you're outta there mate!! Ha ha, Go Mets!

Man, this team rox! Some dude who I'm callin' Bill just dropped a catch that even Phil Tuffnell could've caught. Milfton Bill. So the Twins got 2 runs, now the Blue Jays are in. Hooray, the Blue Jays got a home run, more fireworx! OK, could there be any cornier music here at the game? Charge!!!! Charge!!!! Mind you, everyone claps along, even the little milftons in front of me won't listen to me, Charge!!!! OK, I'm gonna do that every time I'm writing and it comes on. We will, we will Rock you!! Tom Cruz Jr just piffed his hat, not a happy camper. PS. Rhys I found your shorts, Yay!

So, I just got food. 2 slices of Pizza and a beer cost me like $16, Holy shit! But damn good, Steeerike! So, I've made friends with the 4 little dudes in front of me who have promised to catch the ball so it doesn't smack me in the head, even though he's like "Pardon" and I'm like "OK" A,B,C, 1,2,3, Corny!! This is cool, PS. Nice tattoo!! What is it with the clapping? Just random clapping. The batter is doing sit ups. Ha ha, he got hit with the ball! Yay!! Each batter comes out to their own music, I swear that was Tito Puente. OK, it was me, the whole world wants to know. I LET THE DOGS OUT!!

OK, our section just won a race! Yay! Dunno why, dunno what it means but we did. Ha ha ha, Homer Bush is in soon!! Homer, Homer, Homer!! So, it's the top of the 7th and the Blue Jays trail 8-2, I just bought a bat and a Coke that cost me $3.25. Man, what is the deal with that? Chad just went out. Yabba Dabba Do!! How in hell could there be 26,849 people here? Unreal!! It's mid week! The people here are chant teases, they start and then just stop! Mean, mean Base ball people. It's the 9th inning now and the Jays could still win, it's only 9-2. Yeah right. The 4 dudes in front of me Eden, Peter, Michael and Pat are a cack! They're more into talkin to us than watching the game, cool kids! Na na na na na na na na etc. Adam's Family cool! For some reason they have the A.A.P.T Smart Chat chant?! OK, Jeff Frye is my new fave player, he came out to Lifehouse! Yeah! Charge!!!! Charge!!!!

So that's it, the Jays lost 9-4, oh well. Take me out to the Ball game. Chris Michalak won player of the game and the guy in seat 117 won Milfton of the game. So from the game to the Kensington Markets. I bought a Taco Bell shirt and a new bag to fit all my stuff in!! and a Chad, yes Chad Keyring and sticker!! Alright, off to Janet Jackson soon. Toronto has all these Mutant bugs flying around! It's worse than those Fox Black bugs, Mutant!!!!! Cool, so Sam and I went into town, I didn't feel like dinner cause 3,231 bugs filled me up! Off to Janet, Man, what a show! It was awesome. From there bought some goodies and came back. Off to Niagra Falls 2morro, cool, I'm gonna try that Superman thing, see what happens.

3-8

Good moaning, I'm now on a bus on the way to Niagra Falls. Yay. Just wanted to say that my bus, sorry coach drivers name is Ed! You go 3 time emmy nominated Ed!! PS. No Bugs today, the cows have gone away! OK, so it's now 3:10pm, and we've done Niagra Falls, we got here, then went on this thing called Maid of the Mist which is a ferry that takes you down to the falls, well of course it's down, why would it be up?! So we got these sexy blue raincoats and of course I rip mine. Just standard ain't it! Got drenched, man those falls are awesome. We yelled obscenities at the USA side of the falls, Damn Yankies! Yeah! Damn Yankies Ruled! High Enough is a hella song!! Anyhoo, after my shower which PS. Didn't give me enough time to rinse the conditioner out, we went up the main drag. It's a cross between Luna Park and Las Vegas, so I spose it's Luna Vegas. They had the worst wax museums! I look more like Alice Cooper than the figure did!!

Milled back to the bus terminal and guess what? We missed the 3:00 by 5 mins, yeah, so next bus to Cherano ( how they say it) is 4:30! Awesome. So let me describe the bus terminal. A crappy souvenir stand, some plastic seats, oh good, still an hour to go and tell me how you can burn popcorn when they don't bloody sell it? The Pepsi machine is out of Crush, Sam won't let me draw a tattoo on her and some old mate is falling asleep, so is that what I look like when I nod off?! Ha ha and where can I get some Tang around here?

OK, I'm on the bus now, it's 4:30 and man, how do you spell Mutant?! I'll tell you how not to find out, ask the people at the bus station. In the last hour I've seen some funny stuff. Some Old dude at the 25c vending machines dropped his cup when his lollies came out, Ha ha! Some old mate started talking to me in a foreign dialect I think it was Canadian, not sure. I just laughed when he did. The ATM was the loudest one in the world, there were complimentary ear plugs but I didn't grab em, now I and the rest of the terminal is deaf and why oh why did it give me $400 in $20 notes, now I look like a rich bastard. Oh well, better spend it!! We're moving now, yay! Cya back in Cherano.

Okie day, got back to Cherano and bought some more stuff! Actually I think I've finished my shopping with only 3 bags now! Cool! The Caribbean festival is on so Young St was chockers! Geez! Dinner tonight was at Hooters!! Greasy food and good viewing so I bought a shirt!! Jen our waitress was lovely. From Hooters we went to Sugar mountain, a candy store. Sam stocked up which included a big bag of Cotton Candy or Fairy Floss as we call it, so we go off to our 9:20 session of Rush Hour 2 when we're stopped at the upscilators. Security dude won't let us up with the candy. So we call the manager who comes over and lets us up saying we have to hand in the candy to Guest Services. Fuck that, so we put it in my bag. When we get to the top we're being stalked by the Candy Police. Seriously, a manager in a radio mic is trailing us to make sure we take the candy to the counter. We spotted him and he pretended he wasn't after us.

So, we go back and hand it in, I hear it's 3 years for foreign candy in a movie! Phew, morons, could you imagine the call. "Box Office to Guest Services, we have 3 patrons, all tall, they have candy, I repeat, candy", "This is G.S. I'm on it, G.S. to B.O. I see the perps and candy is in sight, I've been spotted!! Man down, I'm returning to base" which he did. How could they have nothing better to do? Anyway, the movie was hilarious!! Back home now, last night here, off home 2morro! So til the morn, C ya then.

Stay tuned for the rest!!!!

Rock on,

TC