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| Ye Olde List Shoppe |
| People who shouldve Overdosed years ago before, before their careers ended so they'd reach Kurt Cobain status like Elvis, and Jesus |
| Steven Tyler Scott Baio Bono Judd Nelson The Rollingstones Howard Stern Steve Martin Kirk Cameron Kid Play Ringo Blondie' Little Richie Vanilla Ice MC Hammer The Baldwins Robin Williams Urkel Jerry Springer John Grisham Tony Danza Doogie Howser |
| Judge Reinhold Carrot Top Tom Green Pauly Shore Kevin Nealon Stevie Nicks Pat Sa-jack Martin Short Jonathan Silverman Kennedy Meatloaf The Brady Kids Richard Gere Eddie Murphy Ted Danson The Bangles Patrick Dempsey Ricki Lake Emilio Estevez |
| Ways to be Happy |
| - dont worry - send one dollar to "Happy Dude" 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield USA -Marry Rich -Kill your mother while she sleeps - Take prozac or xanax - have a blowpop - Become budhist and fast for a year, then quit budhaism and eat until you die smiling - Renounce the existence of god and pop music all together - Turn that frown inside out and sacre small children - date Angelina Jolie - Take extasy - Repeat - Buy a whore have him/her tickle you - Scratch it when it itches - Go see a doctor when it turns purple - Watch Kids In The Hall - Masturbate more often - Burn aunts with your magnifying glass - get laid. |
| Things I wish existed |
| The matter transporter Something that makes the hair on my head grow as fast and full as the hair under my arm pits Food from pills True Love The borg Pimple removal creme Fat removal creme Asshole ex-boyfriend removal creme monthra Vincent Price Incubi |
| People I wish were still famous |
| Corey Haim Corey Feldman Corin Nemec Anthony Micheal Hall Molly Ringwald Scott Thompson Bruce McColloch Mark McKinney Kevin McDonald |
| Phrases to live by |
| ... I doubt you've ever done anythin worthy of hell.... ...I wanna dip my balls in it.... ....I'm unique just like everyone else... ...If I were a breakfast food I'd touch myself all day... ...well fucky my face... ....there's a time and place for everything and it's called college... ... I want to have your abortion.... ....I'll procrastinate later... ... when I'm dead you can cut me up... ... eat my fleecy, lice infested.... ...efficient german sex... ...I'd like to be there when your scrotum falls off... ... i was in a horrible accident now Im just a head... |
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