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Don't call me goddess, don�t call me queen, just call me the sweetest lil� angel you�ve eva seen. Diamonds are nice and so are pearls but there sure ain�t nuttin' like us pretty gurls. Don't give me your attitude because I don�t need it, I have got my own thanks. Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdown, have you eva noticed most problems start wit men? Me and ma gurls are just mind rockin�, bootie shakin�, sittin' high looking fly and checkin� out da hot guy. God made the land, God made the sea; God needed a princess so he made ME!! Why go to high school when you can go to school high? Let�s have an intelligent conversation, I'll talk and you listen. Sexy Boy, I�m diggin' You, Because You Make Me Wanna Do All The Things I Ain�t Supposed To! I Got Delicious Lips, a Devil�s Stare, I Got All Them Bitches Screamin�, "IT AIN�T FAIR!" Don't be scared when an old, fat man comes into your room one night and throws you in a bag.... I told Santa I want you for Christmas! God made Coke, God made Pepsi, but how'd he make me so damn sexy? You better take some sleepin� pills baby; cuz the only place you be gettin� me is in your dreams! You've been a very bad boy! Go to MY room! Don�t drink and drive.... If you hit a bump you might spill your beer. I'm scared to fall in love.... scared to fall too fast.... cuz every time I fall in love it never seems to last. Whoever said that ya can�t buy happiness.... must've been shopping in the wrong mall! You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. I hope life's not one big joke.... cuz I don't get it. Santa's only jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live. The sky is blue; the grass is green, the harder the fuck, the louder the scream, the louder the scream, the harder the fuck, so call me tonight and you might be in luck. Twinkle twinkle little knob, she likes to put it in her gob, but when she feels that certain twitch she pulls it out the spiteful bitch!! Life's a bitch and then you marry one! Don't say you love me unless you really mean it cuz I might do something crazy like believe it. All good girls and boys go to Heaven that's why I wasn't invited! Roses are red, violets are black, if you don't love me then I'll give you smack. Silence is golden.... but shouting is fun! My mother told me not to talk to strangers; I never talk to myself anymore. There's no such thing as Santa Claus it's just a paedophile in a suit! Mum always said sex was dirty.... so let's do it in the shower! I'm not an alcoholic.... I just hate being sober. If I was a flower would you pick me? If I was a lollypop would you lick me? If I was a sweet would you suck me? If I asked you nicely please would you fuck me? Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS. My wife ran away with my best friend, I sure miss him. They told me I was gullible, and I believed them. I told you a million times.... don't exaggerate! Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home. I've had deja vu twice today. Patience will come to those who wait for it. Men are like coffee: The best ones are rich, warm, and keep you up all night long. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. Spider, spider on the wall you think you're smart you know fuck all for the wall you're on has just been plastered and now you're stuck you stupid bastard. Row row row your boat gently down the stream belts off trousers down isn't life a scream? I'm so sane it's driving me crazy. Who took the jam out of your doughnut? Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. You asked me what I loved more you or my life, I answered my life! You walked away not knowing you are my life. Electricity, it�s shocking! I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine'. You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. If a man stood putting fudge into boxes all day would he be known as a fudge packer? Why� because I'm worth it! The person who said true love lasts forever was drunk. Practice safe sex go fuck yourself. Children in the frontseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause children. |
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