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| Chat Links Strange but true Quotes Insults Message board Pick-up-lines - 1 | 2 Guestbook Games Jokes About me Fun |
| NikKi's Place |
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Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited! Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks. You're on my list of things to do tonight. Roses are Red, Apples are Sour, I'll spread my legs, and you can show me your "power." Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew.... Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want. I lost my phone number, can I have yours? Call 999, you stole my heart! If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning! I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69? Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! What centrefold are you on? (You could get a slap be warned) Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open? Can I wash my winkie in your sinkie? Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a while? I wanna remember your face for my dreams. When you fell from Heaven, did it hurt? Girl, you must be a parking ticket because you�ve got �fine� written all over you! If you were a hamburger at McDonalds, they�d call you McGorgeous. I didn�t know angels flew so low. If I had the power to create the perfect woman I�d have you just the way you are. If you were a tear in my eye I wouldn�t cry for fear of losing you. You know you might be asked to leave soon your making the other women look bad. Excuse me miss, I believe you just dropped something�. my jaw. Can I have my heart back now, please? Baby somebody better call God he's missing an angel. You�re so sweet you�re gonna put sugar out of business. Can you catch I think I�m falling for you. If water were beauty you�d be an ocean and I�d want to dive straight in. Have you seen (any movie) would you like to? Just call me milk cuz I�ll do your body good. Are you Greek? I thought all Goddesses came from Greece? Have you ever entered a beauty contest and they have said, �Sorry, no professionals?� Hey baby, you�re so hot I had to turn off my smoke alarm. I've lost my virginity, can I have yours? Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart. Your dad must have been a king for a day to have a princess like you! You know, you look really hot! You must be the real reason for global warming. If a kiss was a snowflake, I would send you a whole blizzard. I didn't believe in angels until I saw you. Your lips are like wine and I want to get drunk. Do you have a library card? 'Cause I wanna check you out! I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you. Baby, you must be a broom 'cause you swept me off my feet. I was sitting here holding this cigarette and I realized I'd rather be holding you. You're too smooth; I think you need a hump! Baby, I�m not Fred Flintstone but I could make your Bedrock. Hey baby, why don�t we go behind a rock and get a little boulder? Hi, do you wanna wake my trouser snake? If you were a plumber, you could empty my pipes all day! If you were a bank, I would make a deposit then withdraw. If you�re going to regret this in the morning, then we can sleep until the afternoon. I�d marry you tomorrow if we can have the honeymoon tonight. You look a lot like my third wife�. Of course, I�ve only been married twice! If I told you that you remind me of my mum, would you tuck me into bed tonight? You have been a very naughty girl! Now go to my room! Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some? Are you religious? �Cause I�m the answer to all your prayers. You know, you�ve got the prettiest teeth I�ve ever dreamed of coming across. I�m on fire, baby, can I run through your sprinkler? You make my software turn into hardware. You look like my next girlfriend. You may not be a dog but I would sure like to give you a bone. I can see you. (Uh, yeah.) Great! Then how about tomorrow? What time do you have to be back in Heaven? You're so hot you would make the devil sweat. What do you say we go back to my place and play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the heck out of me! Want to play lion? (She asks, "What's that?") That's where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat! Hey baby shall we shag now or shag later? I have a phobia of boobs can we go back to my place and let me have a feel to help me get over my fear? Comebacks Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: Bond, James Bond. Woman: Doom, your doom. Man: Hey baby, do you want some fun tonight? Woman: Yeah, do you know anyone? Man: Can I get a picture of you to show Santa what I want for Christmas? Woman: Can I have one of you to show Santa what I don't want for Christmas? |
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