"Well I think that if something smells like fish, tastes like copper, and bleeds for five days it should not be touched."--My response to my friend Emilie's comment that penises are gross.
"You're simple, you're shallow, & you're a common whore. That's why we're soul mates!"--Karen Walker to Jack McFarland on "Will & Grace"
"Our love of punishment is exceeded only by our passion to forgive."--from Richard Greenberg's play Take Me Out
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"I just hope he's not popular. At my 10-year high-school reunion, all the popular people, the good students, turned out to be unappealing. ... You don't like talking to anybody? You like sitting in your room alone? Well, we have nothing but hope for you."--Tim Burton on his unborn son with Helena Bohnam-Carter
"Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio. But I guess I want to marry Tom Cruise; he is more reliable."--Jon Stewart
"Most people who investigated this knew that if you were not shooting up or getting fucked in the heinie, you were as likely to get AIDS as you were to have a safe fall on your head while walking down Wilshire Boulevard. But... the facts were almost useless. You couldn't give a woman the facts and have her respond, 'Oh, all right.'"--Jack Nicholson on AIDS plublicity in the '80s.
"I think if you say you don't do it, you're lying. I think it's a positive thing to indulge in yourself in a sexual way sometimes. ... I think it's positive for girls not to depend on guys. ... So just make yourself happy and let them just kind of follow up after you."--Britney Spears
"I love you like the mother I had committed against her will."--Karen Walker on "Will and Grace"
"While conservatives tell you, 'Leave things alone and no one will lose,' and liberals tell you, 'Interfere a lot and no one will lose,' baseball says, 'Someone will lose.' Not only says it--insists upon it!
So that baseball achieves the tragic vision democracy evades. Evades and embodies.
Democracy is lovely, but baseball's more mature."--from the play Take Me Out by Richard Greenberg
"James Taylor! Why you singin' to these kids about prostitutes!!!"--Chef from "South Park"
"Damn, woman! I just gave you sweet lovin' five minutes ago! You tryin' to kill me!?!"--Chef from "South Park," to Kathie Lee Gifford
"If you've got a skeleton in your closet, best teach it to dance."--English playwright Oscar Wilde
"This is the time for guts and guile."--Elizabeth Taylor
"Be good...or be good at it."--Stephen Tyler of my favorite band, Aerosmith
"I am NOT taking my baby's daddy to prom. I see way too much of that man, and prom is too big a night. I need a real man to take me to prom."--Unknown
�I'm Bozzo the Bush!��Samantha Jones of �Sex and the City,� after accidentally dying her pubic hair a bright shade of red.
�As Mary Magdalene once said, �Jesus, I�m getting stoned!���from the musical Hair
OOBhve: ok. think I'm gonna make a drinky
TKDBoyoftheATA: BOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR
OOBhve: no, irish
OOBhve: wait, is there a difference
TKDBoyoftheATA: hardly
OOBhve: true
TKDBoyoftheATA: its kinda like french and pompous ass hole
�This is the high point of my day. It�s all downhill from here.��Lester Burnam in American Beauty
�Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.��Jimmi Hendrix
�Jesus tap-dancing Christ!��Mr Garrison of �South Park�
"We're shagging like two lieutenants after lights out."--Karen Walker of "Will and Grace"
"I like Scrabble. I'm actually good at it, I think because when I'm writing, I'm thinking of words."--Avril Lavigne, the dumb cunt who needs to go back to Canada.
"This is only my first album, so stick with me--we've got depression and drug addiction to go through."--Justin Timberlake
"If people who want to make a life commitment can't have protection, then we live in a pretty sick world."--Elton John on gay marriage or the lack thereof.
"Men only think about three things: food, sports, and sex. Dogs could be more mysterious. If they ever invented a refrigerator with a wide screen TV and a vagina we'd all be doomed."--Sam from "ER"