STAR TREK V
THE FINAL FRONTIER

1989 BOMB 106 mins.

For some strange reason, the title "The Worst Motion Picture Ever Made" keeps popping up in my head whenever I think of this film. Maybe that's because it is the worst motion picture ever made.

After four fantastic films, William Shatner takes Star Trek where it has never gone before. Not only in the weak, pointless story, but also in the . . . for lack of a better word . . . suckiness of the film itself. There are a couple of funny moments near the beginning. "What's the matter, Jim?" "I miss my old chair." After that, though, this film plummets lower than any film I have ever seen. In fact, I don't even think I should refer to this as a "film". The word "film" implies that there is actualy some sort of quality in the movie, even if it is only just a little bit of it. This does not have any quality.

Let me just see if I can get this right. The Enterprise NCC-1701-A is in terrible condition; nothing works on it. Some hostages are taken on a planet of peace in order for a starship to come to the rescue. Well, the Federation send the non-working bucket of bolts known as the Enterprise to the rescue. A crazed Vulcan claims to have found "what all men have searched for since the beginning of time." Basically, he claims to have found God in the center of the universe, which cannot be reached. Well, they try to reach it anyway. Oh, and Klingons are there as bad guys for some unknown, stupid reason.

So, I hereby present to you the "Worst Motion Picture Ever Made". Stay away from it. Never watch it. You're not missing a single blasted thing.