The book is about a little baby girl called Emma, who died, and her brother is telling the story.
When she dies, her brother is very sad. Then her family see her and she is already dead and she's cold - it's like her spirit and soul have already gone up to heaven. They talk about Jesus in the book. Just before the funeral, his mum came home from the hospital and the phone rang all the time and lots of their friends came to visit but they didn't talk very much. They bought Emma some clothes to wear in the coffin. It was a nice idea to buy the teddy bear for Emma.
He showed his school friends a photo of Emma and some hair and foot prints. He would have liked that but inside he would have felt sad.
I had a brother called Alexander who died. In the story , when they went to the funeral, it seems as though I'm the little boy and Alexander is little Emma in the book. It's a very nice book and it does remind me very much of Alexander.

I have just read "Our Baby Died" by Jane Warland. It is written as if a child were speaking and it is very real, because the mother who wrote it did so while she was grieving the loss of her baby. Children often feel guilty when they see everyone crying, and wonder whether they have in some way "made it happen" or been the cause. It is a book worth having on your shelf because you never know when you may have friends or family in a similar situation.

Review published in the Together Magazine. Vol. 2: May 95

review by Harold E Jones. Bereavement educator, grief counsellor, co-founder of SANDS SA.

This is one of the best books written to help children begin to grieve for their baby sister or brother who has died. So often sibling grief is overlooked and children are left to cope as best that they can. Bereaved parents find it difficult to come to terms with their baby's death and have little emotional resources left over to help their other children.

Other children's books that I have read are generally written by adults as they believe children feel. This book is written as children really think and feel as I have heard their grief reactions expressed over many years. I commend this book to adults to help their children begin to cope with a very traumatic time. No book will take away the pain of grief, but this book I believe will help the grieving parent and child begin to come to terms with the reality of the loss. This book will help with the commencement of healing in grief recovery.

AFDA (Australian Funeral Director's Assosciation) June 1998 Newsletter
Louise King from Louise King funerals:

Some children's picture books have the capacity to send a message to the child as well as the adult reading or sharing them- this book is no exception.
This book is aimed at families with young children who have lost a baby through stillbirth, and was written by a woman who has lived through this experience - frustrated by the lack of books to share with her children.
There is certainly nothing ambiguous about the title! It is a simple story told through the eyes of a big brother; the anticipation of a new baby, the subsequent death of the baby, and just some of the emotions and events leading up to returning top school after the funeral.
One of the book's main strengths is "normalizing" the many rituals involved in saying goodbye, such as dressing, holding, and kissing the baby, and taking photos. Both the children and adults are involved in these activities.
There is a great description of how grief feels to kids (and adults) "I feel like I've got a big weight inside my tummy and it's pulling my insides out" Comments such as this help to address the guilt feelings both adults and children may harbour concerning death and also provides a framework to dispel them.

I would recommend this book as a resource in your library for the right family. There is a strong religious tone in the acceptance and explanations about death which will no suit everyone, including phrases such as "I know that she is with Jesus. I will see her again some day because I love Jesus too." It will be a great help to some, however, who may be struggling to find the words. I think the illustrations were a little sombre being black and white pencil drawings, but they captured the mood well.

In my opinion, Jane's aim of creating a book to help parents with their children through the loss of a baby brother or sister has been achieved.

Children and Grief            How parents can help their bereaved child cope with their baby's death.
Hints for bereaved parents            The Children's  Book "Our Baby Died"
Other children's books on Sibling grief        Links to other Kid's grief sites             Web Rings
 
 

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