Helping
Children Cope with death.Helping
Children Cope with death. Be direct and honest. Repeat
the facts many times. Explain what has happened in different ways. Children
can't seem to hear the story enough times.
Ask Children their opinions.
Ask what they believe, what they think, what they think other people are
feeling.
Never act as if they will
get over it or it is time for people to die especially older people. They
may be sad for a lng time if the person that died was someone they loved
or expected to love.
Don't assume a child is incapable
of a level of understanding because of his/her age.
Use various media when possible
in talking about death: stories, puppets, drawings, games, scrap books,
life story books.
Children will likely try
to protect their parents and may hide feelings that are seen as distressing
to their parents. Talk to children alone if possible, but at least talk
to the, directly- use simple language not euphemisms.
Children may write letters
or make something special either for the dead person to put in the coffin
or for you about the deceased.
Children have their own explanations
about things. Ask them how they would explain what happened to a friend.
Share your own feelings ,
if appropriate. Don't cover up. Help children to see they are not strange
because of their feelings.
How they are asked will influence
their ability to respond. They can easily give the "expected" response
to a question.
Children remember death for
a long time and from a young age. There may be other deaths they need to
talk about.
Assume their power of observation
is astute.
Initiate the topic of death
occasionally. Don't expect the child to initiate.
Assume that any out of character
behaviour from a child following a death may be related to the death experience.
Adapted from notes taken at a talk given by Carol Irazzarry.
Children and Grief
Hints for bereaved parents
The Children's Book "Our Baby Died"
Other children's books on Sibling grief
Links to other Kid's grief sites
Web Rings
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