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August 11 2004

Lazy Fcuking Bastards !!!!!!

So lets begin.. Well thankfully there has been a lot happening the last few months... LOADS in fact. Definably the biggest thing so far this year was the sudden but not at all announcement that Jen and Hal got engaged while down in Waterville for week (27/07/04) - We actually have no details of how he proposed - but its been rumoured that he proposed during a quick PS2 pit stop, but couldn't put the ring on there and then as the round had started off again.. Anyways the phone call's started to announce to the world shortly after - this mind you was well after midnight. Me being the dutiful employee was sound asleep and was woken up to my phone bouncing around the floor well out of reach from under my duvet - I eventually caught it to thoughts of "What de fcuk does he want at this hour.....?" But seconds later I was glad I had answered as I was informed of the news.. to the background music of Jen laughing hysterically in the background - Its ok Hal size doesn't matter - but the ring was described as "oh its absolutely gorgeous !!!" but Mrs O'Halloran. - Since we have gotten a viewing of the Rock of Rochestown and I must admit it some ring.. so who knows what Jen was laughing at that night - just remember Hal as I said earlier - Size doesn't matter - except when it comes to diamonds !

So a BIG KENLEY CONGRATULATIONS FOR HAL & JEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... PS When is the big day ???

Well some of the Kenley Krew left the boring drudgery that is our jobs far behind us, as we headed off en-mass to the Kingdom - to Castlegregory for some camping, a good time and as it turned out an impromptu engagement party for Hal & Jen. Those who were present were Hal & Petal, Slappa-Job & The Jew, Alo & Mags, Mr & Mrs Kinnane, Sabrina, Dee, Structures & Luscious. By the time we actually found a place to camp ( the back beach - where all the surfer type's have en-camped ) and set-up and assemble the BBQ it was well into the evening but we had had a good ole spell in the water at that stage - especially with 2 newly purchased body boards - as Hal would say "De Job !!!" Then the BQQ kicked off, with Alo on the spatula and thongs - must admit all the munchies were organised by Maz & Joan so cheers to them for a mouth watering, stomach filling selection from steak, jumbo sausages, all sorts of chicken to salad, French sticks, salad etc.. we had enough for 2 days of BBQ !!! Some Choonz on the stereo and some drinks soon got the evening going though we were all kinda stuffed for a while after the massive much we all had. It rained of and on then for the rest of the night which only managed to put a slight damper on things. But Definably the Best Part of the night was the wedding ceremony that was performed for Hal & Jen by members of the Kenley Kamping Krew. Then in the Wee hours of the morning a massive crowd of pill scoffing, jaw churning wha's descended onto the dune with decks and a generator ( seemed also they only had 7-8 records as the same shite kept on repeating ) - but due to a combination of rain and cops the crowd eventually had enough a limped away home - doing a load of damage to their cars in the process while speeding around the place, pulling Handbrake turns and all sorts of brain-dead redneck shit... ha ha fcuking idiots - I hope it cost's loads to repair it.. Ok enough of my little rant... spastics !

Major Congrats to Maz, who has just purchased a house - detached and all in FrankField - fair play to ya girl ! When is the House warming??????? Well all be there.. promise we'll behave and not wreak the place.. actually speaking of house warming...we are all still waiting for the invites to Joan & Maria's current pad for a very VERY late House Warming - if need be it can be a House Leaving.. we don't mind.. seriously... we don’t...really !

And as I'm on the scene of House Purchasing Mr & Mrs Kinnane have bought their first house... as soon as all the minor touch-up’s etc are done they should be due to start to christen all of the rooms - you have to do these things right from the start. Paul & Liz bought a house right in the middle of Ballincollig - they can pop over to the in-laws now a bit of Sunday Dinner. And Speaking of House Purchase's - well not yet anyway, BUT. Darragh formally told the Lads, Alo & Structures who pretty much knew it was happening anyway) that he would not be renewing the lease for The Batchelor Pad as he decided he is moving in with Delphine then. Now it transpires the plan would be to save for a house.. but this all seems to have suddenly been fast-tracked to buying/building not far from the nest in Rostellan (?) - the French move fast as has happened with 2 former Kenley lads now situated in France but that's the norm - have I takers for wedding bells in approx 1 year ???? See the Place Your Bets page for further details. A Sad side note though - one of Delphine's kittens was killed not too long ago but was kindly buried by a woman who found her. But I'm sure in time they'll have a back garden for loads more kittens.

Well come October there'll be much afoot - Maz should be moving into her new gaff shortly followed by a massive house warming party - Liz & Paul’s House Warming should be a distant memory at that stage. The Jew is off to the UK to learn how to play the drums - it was felt by many fans including the band he couldn’t drum to save his life so he is being sent to a real life "Rock School" - First Semester is mostly holding the drumsticks without harming yourself or others and how to sit in front of the drums - additional subject - "What’s Cool to wear for drummers this autumn" After about 4 years then they should begin to learn about rhythm and playing a beat. Best of Luck ! Darragh will be moving out, and Structures & Alo will be either looking for a new flatmate under very stringent and narrow criteria - if none can be found or even as a backup plan they will be on the prowl for residence or equal if not greater stature than the present - Graham Norton has sold his penthouse across the hallway so this may be an indication that their current residence is no longer an "In" place to reside. Lads you’ve got to keep arrest of current trends & fashions. Odds of either of 'em moving in with girlfriends ???? Again check the Place Your Bets page. Also it will be Alo & Paul's Birthdays, Liz & Paul's Anniversary and Connor O'Flynns & Adeline's wedding anniversary also ( I think ? - anyone ?)

Well Lets See - as I cast my gaze out over the plains and hills of our lives at the moment and recently past... Well Alo got promoted up the ranks in Schlumberger after the end of the Pay Freeze - so he is now effectively a System Administrator - his actual title to actually print on the internet and make no sense what so ever anyway - he still does as little as ever but jest gets paid more for doing it. Mags his better half is now a Junior Business Development Executive with Thomas Crosby Holdings / Recruit Ireland - after jobs with Siemens and Ref FM for a short period. Darragh O'Brien is now working with Client Solutions doing pretty much the same as his previous Job. Sabrina & Petal are now working with Assurant helping thousands of Americans commit Insurance Fraud - Go Girls ! Hal is still in EMC doing builds as usually and while the builds run chats like mad on MSN and play network Games - also Dee is still in EMC - not quiet sure what she does.. testing I think? Structures is developing Ireland with Sisks - buildings still stand cos he says so and he has a leather man - if you need to ask what this is you are not worthy to know or scrub the mud from his booths. His better half then Linda is working in Novartis making pills for the party people around the world - but they claim they are valid medication.. hmmm. Noggie is still in Boston Scientific but putting aside some cash so he can go on the pull down under sometime next year. Weirdfish is still with Qumas writing mind numbingly baffling code but finally get paid properly for doing so - and spend a lot of the Year in the US teaching Americans how to press CTRL+ALT+DEL at the same time, while drinking with the Mafia in dodgy biker bars in the meat packing districts of New York. Liz is Still in Motorola testing away in her Cube, probably the most homely cube in the building - her co-worker Jackson aka Skippy has fled the country to live the party life down under in Oz where he is now going out with lovely Cork girl Aoife. Paula O'T is also down there with her boyfriend who's name I am continually forgetting - sorry Pla ! Paul has been working on the Ballincollig by pass doing a multitude of duties its hard to even remember them - some included being brought ice cream during the summer, snack box’s from Dino's and Soup during the winter by strange friendly women and while trying his best not to get any tan lines. Iain Mulcahy is still with Cliff Campbell & Associates writing insane amounts of Code - I almost forgot to mention Iain in the House updates - he had just bought a house with his recently engaged fiancée Triona - date yet to come.

Kenley Road almost taking its last breath.......

Also Alo has his Christmas Party tonight in The Rochestown Park and as usual with that jammy bastard its all FREE especially the bar. Starts with a champagne reception with a Jazz band, sounds very respectable but as with all Christmas do’s ye know will descend into absolute mayhem. But at least the post prizes will be good €1000 travel voucher + other smaller ones, TV’s, DVD players, meal vouchers, Brown Thomas vouchers and the usual lots of drink. Everyone has 2 tickets and for once Alo has had problems in getting someone to go.. I mean FREE drink ALL night and he has problems. Come on people is the student in ye dead or what.!!!! That kind of behaviour is utterly unacceptable ! Ye make take the student out of Kenley, but you will never take the student of any of the Kenley gang.. well I hope so anyway ! He has had 3 people pull out so far.. so its looking doubtful he’ll get anyone else at this late stage… what a waste of alcohol ! Ah well all de more for Alo.

A few words from Down Under...G'Day Mate !

Latest news from Kenley this November

Anyway Alo and Daz have moved into a classy 2 story penthouse apt in a Georgian terrace in South Terrace, ha ha their landlord must be an idiot !!!. Fair play lads still… though god help the women in Cork City… Daz is on de prowl more than ever now ! He will need someone to help with the christening ceremony, all decent offers considered ! Sadly poor Alo will have to wait ! Oh the frustration !!!!

So what will happen with Kenley ?

Alo The Viking Plundering Technician

Connor O'Flynn announces his engagement :-)

Dear All, Just to let you all know. I have got engaged to a french girl by the name of Adeline Plocque who I have been working with in Dublin, it happened over a month ago, but has only become official news in the past few days. I am moving to Paris at the start of November and we plan to marry at the end of April 2003 Anyway, due to unforseen circumstances I cannot make it to Cork until the end of October but I would love to see ye all before I go. Conor O'Flynn

Bloddy hell.. who would have thought it !! Connor married.. It took me a few days under VERY HEAVY medication to get over the shock but managed it in the end !! Well all we can say is the very best to the both of them in the future - oh and name ye're first male child Ralph ! - for good luck ! Lets hope the stag night will be in Cork !!!!

On a lesser note Maria and Joan have gone back to college in CIT doing a CISCO course !! Well Maria was sent on this course by work - PermanentTSB. And Joan decided to go on the course herself !! shock horror Well hopefully she will study this time ! Mayby she went back to see Jim White again !!! ... well as Joan so fondly says "Kiss My Ass !!!"..

Updates for last while I know we've been pretty bad at keeping this updated so major apologies.... Forgive Us ???? AH Go On.. go on you know you want to !!

Anyway There actually was an update written for this covering September of Last year up to about March of 2002 but this was somehow lost.. I though I had uploaded it..?!?!?!?!?! aparently not ! So I will give a synopsis of the last year ( those bits that have been omited that is !!!)

Ok Hmmmm where to begin.. (If we forget things or incorrectly report them give us a bell) Well Alo and Cilla broke up last Sept... but it didn't look like that on The Night of the Graduation Ball in Rochestown Park Hotel in October.. they had a little "Reunion" shall we say.. tounges were wagging and the rest of us looked on... he he Ok .. Ammm Brian and Danielle got engaged at Christmas and are tying the knot August 2003 in Blarney ( I think!!! )

Darragh has started doing contract work for Vistech mostly testing so far, the company he woked for originally and its looking like he will be made permanent by the end of 2002 !!! They were in the Airport Busines Park but now have moved to The National Software Centre out in Mahon. Alo started workin for a Danish company called Labflex in The new Microbiology Building in UCC ( by the Bons Hospital) basically as a carpenter type person.. Installing all the furniture associated with a lab.. God help anyone in there... We wouldn't advise anyone sending their children to that dept for a few years for Safety reasons.. just think about it Alo with a Hammer and Drill etc... oooh shudder !!! Then Schlumberger decided to give him a job as a Technical Analyst.. and as soon as he started to work for him their stocks began to drop !!! Hmm sounds very suspect but anyway.. he's still there working away ( Sorry being employed ).

The Annual Kenley Road Associates Summer BBQ was held and was a roaring success ( As per usual !!!) 40 people.. 1 keg of Blarney Blonde.. and 2 BBQ's lots of drink and hangovers. That was also the same night Alo and Mags got it together so to speak !!! It had been building for well over a month before with apparent "friendly" drinks after work etc.. and de odd call back to her apt after clubbin Hmmm....??? People even though they were secretly seeing each other at some stages just before the BBQ as a result of their time spent together.. Since then Alo was either staying in Mag's apt or vice versa as the "Power Dating" ( Daz came up with that one !!) began to gather speed but as most of ye Know Mags went down under at the end of the month ( GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER !!!) .. to Oz Spent some time in Thailand and is now In Oz in Darling Harbour in Sydney.. very posh apparently. Mag's anyway left a puppy (stuffed) to keep Alo warm during de cold winter nights BUT he is still looking for a name for her - so far all he's come up with is "Puppy" !!!....... Original or what !!!! So if ye think of anything good give him a call. Also that BBQ night DaZ was involved in some manouvers in de scratcher - ye know de score!!!

Also Paul K is out of a Job as Logica close its Cork office.. BUT he and Liz have set a date !!!! wait for it people.. drum roll please....... Sat 18th October 2003 !!!.... Daz is Best Man, Antoinette is Chief Brides Maid (Liz's sister) Alo is one of the Grooms and one more to be decided ! Liz's other sister Marie as well as Pauls other sister Louise .. ALo has been warned to keep away !!! As if he would... Mags will hopefully there to keep an eye on him.. "NOT ALLOWED !!!" More in dept details will follow.. It will be held in Clare !! Liz is a traditionalist !!!

Structures got his first time job.. no longer a student !!!! FAIR PLAY TO YA.. with.. not sure really somewhere down Monaghan Road.. anyway doesnt matter as he was headhunted by SISKS ( Well not really but sounds good !!!) And has a new job not sure when but he is based in Cork.. but probably moving out of Kenley to go to Dublin for a few months(more to come of this) But anyway best of luck in de new job. As well as that Spicky has left Ireland and headed off to France With Helene in search of riches.. who knows he may get married and have loads of little Spicky's.. oh de horror.. I wonder if Zoltar followed him ??? So in his place Keith has moved into his room - he's another Tipp Man who's workin in Boston Scientific ! thats all we know so far - he seems sound enough though from what we've sen of him => He works nights !!. Also Structures and Luscious are now free spirits and living the single life. Daz has come close a few times as a few of us know.. as usuall no names will be mentioned ! But like a dedicated Slapper has kept on going !! As an example of the lengths Daz will go to in the name of Slapping for Kenley he's off to the US in a week or 2 to LA,San Fran, San Diego, Las Vegas , Grand Canyon will be meetin up with De Twins ( Car & Al) as well as Iain. Sounds like a mad trip.. what'll happen is another story. Will have photo's as he is gettin a Digi Cam for the trip.

As Regards de other Pics we've been promising - Alo Hasn't gottten off his ass to scan them in at home (YET) And as ye know he's rarely home !!! And will have to be selective on which ones due to space restrictions on de site.

Thats it so .. possibly.. updates or changes may be made in de following days.

...........................................CONGRATULATIONS.....................................

Anyway de gang went out for a "FEW" scoops in The Old Oak last night..much fun was had. Not much is known about de modus operandii of the proposal, or I forgot not quiet sure which is de case though!!!! =) though it has been on the card's for a while ( In our minds anyway ) "The Day" has not been set, but is thought to be in the very near future !!! (NOT). Though in the next few years we predict ! (Hint : look at their answers in the Kenley Slapper Survey !!!) A proper party is to be organised for them in the upcoming weeks...... Will Keep Ye Posted =) And again congrats to ye both !!!!!!!

19/02/2002 Well ...... the story so far.... Daz has packed in his job and has joined the land of de un-employed so that he can concentrate on what he loves and does best..... SLEEP ZZZZZZZZZZZ. Joan has started her new job and is helping loads of people and corporation's make millions from their fraudulent insurance claims, and help the Mafia stay on top of the criminal corporate ladder. So the best of luck there... sadly the company does not allow her drink wine during work hours...which is a little mean :(

Oh yeah Paul Kinnane has moved back down to Cork from Dublin..... he managed to "Get" a transfer to the Logica Office in The Cork Airport Business Park. How many people he had to sleep with to pull that off is a mystery but I'm sure both he and Liz are enjoying a lot more "quality" time together. House hunting is under way as we speak... hmmmm anyone thinking what I'm thinking ????.... YEAH... exactly...... he he he...... ;)

05/01/2002 Well this is probably the biggest piece of news this site will see for a fair while Brian and Danielle got engaged on Christmas Eve .... CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!!!!! And Danielle shall now be known as "The Wedding Planner" as the ENTIRE wedding is now fully planned !!!!! It took an amazing 5 day's, the only thing that has not been organised is the weather, sadly her organizing skills aren't that good ! So people go out and but ye're hats and amazing but crippling shoes, drag those suits out of the mothballs and be prepared. The Hen night probably has been organised, but we have no info on that. BUT we can tell you that we're not going to even think of organising the stag night until the very last possible moment ie the night before !!! But we can tell you that VAST quantities of drink, scantilly clad dancers, insane amounts of bullshit and mighty craic will be involved. Sorry Danielle you won't know anything until its all over !!! Brian won't know either until we pull up outside the house and drag him into the back of the car !!

Also Joan is after getting a job with Accenture (or something like that !!!) in the Cork Business and Technology Park on the Model Farm Rd....starting on the 3rd Of Feb. Best of luck there !! Alo has been at one interview with CadCo so hopefully that will go well but there will be another interview, a technical & personality test to follow if he gets through... personality test???? ha ha he'll fail that anyway..... Well he made the short list of 40 and then the final 5. But the Bastards didn't give him the job.. his personality test probably revealed that he had a deep affinity for guns and could end up being a serial killer !!!

This is only possible news..... Alo, Daz, Slappa-Job and Sabrina are trying to get a cheap holiday in the sun possibly the canaries ! Oooh dig out those string bikini's and whatever the girls want to wear.... !!! The Jew will not be in attendance...ooohh tounge's may begin to waggle !!!!!.... but not until they actually arrive... it's hard enough to pull on the plane...though you never know !!

10/10/2001 Well Daz has started in his first proper job, as a Graduate that is.. with Digital Crew ... Poor Bastards little do they know that they'll be lucky if they see him before 10 most mornings... Our Daz needs his beauty sleep. The amount he's slept up 'till now you'd think he'd be a Calvin Klein model by now !!!

Alo will soon be no longer working in Qualtrace, so if anyone hears of any decent jobs going give him buzz ie professional drinker, vice squad talent scout etc Really anything to do with drink, women, and that pays a lot. Preferably a company car, a Ferrari would suffice. An Aston Martin would also be acceptable !

17/04/2000 OK, Here is the first bit of oficial news on the website. Last night(Sunday) started off innocently enough with a trip to the cinema to see "Erin Brockovitch" (good film). It is customary to go for a drink afterwords and that's exactly what we did - bu could we go for just one pint? - of course not! Alan,Darragh and Keefo ended up going from The Gratten bar to Reardens' to Havana Browns. A good night was had but alas there was no scandle to be reported. Let it be noted that keefo once again found some foreign chicks(American this time) - that guy is a magnet to foreigners!

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