Intro       If there was a good picture of me, I'd put it up. That's why it's not here.

Point one: You want to know something about me.
Point two: I am here to supply it.
Okay.
First off I will throw some nice and easy stereotypes at you.
I'm a punk, nerd, freak, dork, geek, chic, skater, and wannabe unabomber.
Yeah I'd say I'm pretty common.

Background       I'm an 3 year old school girl from the tundras of northern Canada. No...wait a minute. I mean I'm a fifty-five year old Turkish Israeli Australian man from the Iberian peninsula living in the hot tropical climes of Sudan. On the other hand I'm also a African Belgian Polish Russian Serb. I'm 67 years old, male, mercenary stalker ($9.75 per person per hour and extra $3 for Canadian victims); I have mild dementia, schizophrenia, maniac-depression, and diabetes. I live in Australia. I have 3 wives, 2 husbands, 15 concubines, 45 mistresses, 2 prostitutes, 74 bastards, and 8 legal children whose names are Betty, Bertha, Olga, Nora, Many, Hanas, Tom, and Toba. Yes I'm single and I'm looking. Did I mention that I live in Switzerland? Alright fine. I report, you decide.

Aspirations       I plan on marrying the richest man on earth in 15 years after I finish double majoring in EE and Pre-med, earn my Phd in Genetic Engineering, establishing myself as a world renown scientist/researcher/brain surgeon, and recieving the nobel prize in physics.   Of course that will be the easy stuff.   Then I plan on retiring 5 years after my marriage and live peacefully on a 160 acre Texas ranch.   I plan on buying chickens, horses, cows, pigs, turkey, and peacocks.   Then I will murder my husband and collect his will.   Afterwords, I will join the CIA, enter politics to collaborate will several politicians and generals from around the world to stage a coup d'etat to overthrow the Mexican government.   Then I will continue Americas unfinished destiny of expansion north and south of the Americas.  Finally, when the world belongs to the United States, I will be elected the first lady president and referred to in private as Her Highness.   After two terms of presidency, I will leave politics to retire again. OR...Someday I'll become a great professional aggressive skater if I don't break my neck and paralyse myself from the waist down. Meanwhile I will attend (preferably one that has good concrete surfaces and obstacles congenial to agressive skaters) an ivy league college if some admissions officer misreads my application, or I'll go to Penn State, which is where everyone I know is going anyway. I don't know what I will do after I graduate because I probably won't. Okay, if I do graduate, I'll probably go to medical school. Then I'll have to graduate from that too. Sheesh. Maybe I'll find someone who will marry me, die suddenly, and leave me all of their wordly wealth so that I can live in disgusting decadence. What do you say ladies?

School       Currently I have graduated from a shabby high school that shall remain unnamed out of my infinite pity for it.   My junior classes were Physics H, Calculus BC AP, English H, European History AP, and Anatomy, and French III.  In my senior year, I took Physics AP, Government AP, Chemistry AP, English AP, and Calculus III H.   Going to school every morning at the crack of dawn is the highlight of my day.  I am attending University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign this fall, and it will be the greatest college ever. Because, I simply love losing sleep, eating poorly, suffering dangerous levels of stress (which leaves me vulnerable to cardiac arrest in the future), losing my vision from over-studying, getting little to no excercise for months and months, having no time to socialize with anyone, realizing that no one really cares to be around me because I'm much too nerdy, and being surrounded by nerds who always prove to be better and smarter than me constantly.   But I still like to learn...

Hobbies      In the summer I enjoy rollerblading, skateboarding, running around exhausting myself, watching ESPN to find skate videos and learn to improve my sport, playing video games on my computer, and going online to work on this site and chat with friends.   In the winter, I have no hobbies.   In the spring I have no hobbies.  In the fall I have no hobbies.   ( notice: I was ranting again) I also play a musical instrument, but I practice only when I feel inspired.   For the most part I like just listening to punk, metal, goth, instrumental, middle eastern, celtic or gaelic, techno, rap, ska, emoska, and ambient music.  I've once enjoyed or still enjoy: Green day, SR71, Blink 182, Five Iron Frenzy, incubus, less than jake, mest, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, MXPX, nickelback, OPM, Rancid, Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit, Beastie Boys, Stroke 9, Wheatus, Theatre of Tragedy, Iron Maiden, Wheezer, Insomnium, System of a down, Stained, Goldfinger, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Reel Big Fish, Training for Utopia, Supertones, Opera IX, Tristania, Opeth, Soilwork, In flames, Godsmack, Hoobastank, Tourniquet,Diana Haddad, Hans Zimmer, My Dying Bride, etc. <a href="playlist.html">There's probably more...</a>

Fashion      Your first challenge is to dress like me so that one day you too may become just like me.   Imitating the latest fashion can be extremely difficult for the fashionably challenged.   However, I will make your rise into the ranks of the popular elite as simple as breathing.   To join the most popular people, you must wear green zebra-striped pantyhose.   Placing the pantyhose fashionably on your body is the secret art of popularity.   For many, the secret art is to have it wrapped on your head, hanging out of your boxers, or tied around your waist. The sexiest way to manipulate pantyhose is stuff as many as you can in the back of your shirt.

Alright that's IT!