- Follow people closely from behind and make an effort to breathe on them or down their neck. --deep breathing noises--I...am...your...father, Luke...
- Identify a member of the male sex, approach him and ask him to be your wife.
- Punch the genitals of others.
- Fabricate your own language and communicate only in that lingo.
- Sing about Canada. I recommend the song, Oh Canada, by Five Iron Frenzy.
- If you happen to be male, declare that you are female : "I'M A WOMAN!!!" or say "I'M A MAN!!!" if you are male. If you have trouble identifying your sex or if you experience sex changes, whichever phrase will work.
- Whenever it is appropriate to say hello to people, instead say, "BRASS MONKEY!"
- Pretend your life is a musical. Break out into moments where you sing, dance, shout, and clap gaily. Try to get nearby strangers to join in.
- Run everywhere, never walk, even if just a few steps.
- Suddenly tell people to, "Stop It!!!"
- Converse with people with your back facing them. Tell them you have a hairy face (unless if you are bald then use a marker and paint on a face).
- Insist that you are a pickle. Humbly ask people to take a bite of you, to comment on your taste.
- Spit compulsively.
- Wear winter clothing in the middle of summer.
- Try to market used coffins.
- Force innocent people to visit this website.
- When you dine with several other people, eat your food by throwing it up into the air and trying to catch it with your mouth; but, miss consistently.
- Paint yourself like Michael Jackson and only leave the house when the sun goes down. Approach people from behind, grab them, and try to bite their necks. When repelled, apologize, and claim that you are a vampire. Then repeat, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
- Never speak but only make grunting noises. When people do no understand you, get extremely agitated, make muffled screams, and bang walls.
- Go around trying to sell people the socks and shoes on your feet; your pants; and your shirt. Misunderstand their funny stares, and instead offer them discounts or resort to haggling.
- Constantly carry around a giant open umbrella around wtih you even when it's perfectly sunny.
- In class or in the office, scream, "I'm GONNA DIE!!!!" for no particular reason and at especially quiet moments.
- Pretend you are a moth. Flutter toward lights and beat in a frenzy when you get too close
- Act paranoid, look over your shoulder constantly. Ask if people hear or see things that don't exist.
- Pretend that you are sleep walking. Sleep walk into class.
- When people try to speak to you, interrupt them with, "SIMMER DOWN NOW!!!". If they don't understand explain by repeating the words "simmer down now" slowly.
- Run around the office or the halls of your school pretending a ferocious monster is chasing you.
- Whenever the teacher calls on you in class, always say you forgot what you were going to say. Then at an inappropriate time call out that you remembered and wave your hand excitedly.
- Walk around with a fixed and shocked look on your face. Try smiling with a shocked look.
- When playing a card game, always deal with the faces up.
- Walk around telling everyone you see that you will for the last time not go out with them.
- Place a security alarm on yourself. When people come within a radius of you, the alarm goes off disruptively.
- Pretend that you are a walking radio. Broadcast your own station.
- Own a pet banana. Give it a name, a leash, and try to walk it.
- Try to steal peoples' shoes.
- Lick people.
- Tug around a moveable grill with you. That way you can always have a hearty hot meal wherever you are.