The Married Life - 1
by [M]ad[C]at and Heri
The Married Life: Faramir and Eowyn!
Faramir and Eowyn in a supermarket
Daytime. Faramir and Eowyn stand outside 'Gondor's Freshest', a supermarket. They bicker.
Faramir: Eowyn, I just don't understand why you have to drag me away from my work! I have tons to do,
and Aragorn looks so tired these days...
Eowyn: He told me to bring you somewhere else for a breath of fresh air, and of course he's tired, what with all
those nights with Arwen...
Eowyn catches herself and clamps her mouth shut as Faramir cottons on.
Faramir: (Suspiciously) Hmm... so that's what he was daydreaming about in that meeting
yesterday...
Eowyn: Nevermind! On we go! We need some stuff; our monthly store's almost gone
at home. Come on!
She drags a protesting Faramir inside the store.
A moment later, the couple stand in front of a shelf filled with detergents. Eowyn is empty-handed, while Faramir
pilots the shopping cart, being the noble man he is.
Eowyn: What about 'Tide', dear? I think it's good... I heard Gimli said something about it
when we were getting married... something about Gandalf and how he's white all over...
Faramir: Anything's fine, let's get one of these and head on to the other aisles, okay?
He grabs the bottle of detergent and puts it into the cart.
Eowyn: (muttering) Men!
She joins him as they walk to a shelf displaying rows and rows of snacks.
Faramir: (Eyeing something) Ooh, look! Beef jerky!
He makes a grab for it, but Eowyn's hand pushes his away.
Faramir: What the... why not?
Eowyn: It's bad for your health.
Faramir: But I haven't had it for about six months already! Can't I just have one..
pleasepleaseplease?
Eowyn sighs and offers a packet to her husband. Faramir beams and kisses her cheek.
Faramir: You're the greatest, honey! Let's go!
~*~
An hour later, the shopping cart is overflowing from food and household items. Faramir is carrying some as
there's no space left.
Eowyn: Okay... toothbrushes, check... now for the last two: sanitary napkins,
and a pan.
Faramir: Okay then, I'll get the pan. You go get your stuff.
He begins to move off, but Eowyn pulls him back.
Eowyn: No, you get the napkins, and I'll choose the pans myself.
Faramir: ARE YOU CRAZY?! (He looks around to see some shoppers looking at him weirdly, and resorts to
whispering to Eowyn) Look, I can't go there, it's like a restricted area!
Eowyn: Restricted area my foot. It's nothing, just take the packet with pink packaging.
Faramir: P...pink packaging?? Look, why can't I take the pan?
Eowyn: Because you can't choose them right. The first and only one you picked out is currently
sitting in the storage room with it's wrappings still on for two years and counting.
Faramir: But you've only just tried it once! How do you know it's not good?
Eowyn: I've cooked for Eomer, Theodred and Uncle Theoden for eight years, of course I'll know something about
pots and pans.
Faramir: (Sulkily) It's good enough for cooking in the wilderness anyway.
Eowyn: We're not living in the wilderness, dear. Now, be a good husband and help me find that box of
napkins, will you? Thanks.
She prepares to leave.
Eowyn: Remember, the pink packaging.
Eowyn goes in search of the required pan, while Faramir stares after her.
Faramir: *Sigh* Oh well, the sooner it's done, the better.
~*~
Like an assassin, Faramir creeps into what he calls 'The Restricted Area', armed with his shopping cart. As
he approaches the shelf where his target is displayed, he notices two young women looking at him in shock. He
hurriedly grabs Eowyn's essentials and practically runs away from the place.
Faramir: Whew. That was a close one. I've never set foot in that place before..
it's always Eowyn herself who gets her stuff. (Goes looking for his wife) I hope I don't have to do
that again.
A short while later, Faramir catches up with Eowyn and together they pay for their selections.
Faramir: (Flashing his MasterCard(TM) to the cashier) Here.
The cashier, a middle-aged lady, takes a second look at Faramir and promptly freaks out.
Cashier: L...Lord Faramir! How nice to see you! (Shouts to her fellow workers)
Hey guys, look who's here! Faramir himself and with his wife!
Moments later, the couple find themselves swamped with people talking to them. As they lingered, more came to
them. Faramir eventually tries to escape.
Faramir: Yes, thanks, all right. Alright, everybody, PLEASE, I HAVE TO GO NOW, EOWYN'S SICK!
In seconds, their goods are paid for and they are ready to go.
Eowyn: (Checking the receipt) Hey, look. We've got a forty percent discount!
That means... (She calculates the sum) sixty gold pieces off! What a killing! We
could shop here more often!
Faramir: (Muttering) Women. (Aloud) Are we done yet? Let's go, I'm
hungry.
Eowyn: Okay! Where do we go?
Faramir: What about... McRohans? I've been meaning to try out that 'Shire Special' with
extra mushrooms ever since Pippin told me it was a hit in Bree...
Eowyn: Sounds good to me! Let's go.
They leave.
Current|
Chapter 2|
Chapter 3|
Chapter 4|
Chapter 5|
Chapter 6|
Chapter 7|
Chapter 8