A Mother holds her child's hand for a little while but she holds their heart forever...... My Daughter Julie Julie was our second and middle child. I remember how "pretty and pink" she was when she was born. I thought she looked like a little rosebud. Her daddy was a little shocked at first that she wasn't a boy, but she soon had him wrapped around her little finger. Bonnie, used to having all of our attention, wasn't all that pleased with Julie's arrival and soon expressed it by biting her across her little toes, but Julie soon won her over too. A cute, chubby little girl with dimples, twinkling eyes and a full head of curly, brown hair, Julie was happy and loved life with sister Bonnie and baby brother Jerry. Dad was a big kid too and was always down in the floor wrestling and playing with them. Our house was a lot of fun. Julie loved her rollerskates and dolls. We lived across the street from the school in Sonora most of their childhood years and she burned up the sidewalks and tennis court on those skates! Her favorite dollys were "Mrs. Beasley" and "Baby Alive". Beasley (as Julie called her) had tiny wire-rimmed glasses that Julie would take off and wear herself. Baby Alive was battery operated and could be fed. She often woke us up in the middle of the night making "chewing noises" after being tossed in the closet with her switch still on! Julie loved animals, especially our dog, Freckles. She was a Springer Spaniel and the kids grew up with her. She looked much like the spotted dog with the little curly-haired nurse on the Nurse Julie page. She grew into a tall, beautiful, active teenager with the longest fingers, legs and feet! She and Bonnie had many special times together sharing a room growing up. They were quite a "team" or maybe I should say "partners in crime". They learned to sneak out the window at night but never caught on as to how Dad knew. They never considered the little telltale gravel and dirt on the window sill! I remember the first day Bonnie got her driver's license. She and Julie talked me into letting them take the car to get a coke for a couple of hours. They came home right on time and went straight to bed. I was impressed and didn't notice until after lunch the next day that the right rear end of my car was smashed in! They covered up for each other and conveniently forgot to tell such things. Together they shared dreams, love and laughter. As Julie became a woman, I gained a friend as well as a daughter. After she had her own little family, she would call and invite me to supper if I would drive the 35 miles to Ballinger. She was a good cook and those were very special times for me. She loved to decorate and fix their little home up special. She and Jerry became even closer after she had her own home and family. He loved going to her house when he was a teenager. She spoiled him and covered up for him too. There was a very strong bond between them. Julie loved all the holidays, but she especially loved Christmas and made it a magical time for Brady. She decorated everything! It was especially sad losing her at Christmas. I went to Ballinger and spent the night Christmas Eve with Glen and Brady. That's what Julie would have wanted me to do because at six a little boy doesn't understand all the sadness and still hopes Santa will come. As I reflect on it now, I realize that Christmas was when Julie was truly in her element; therefore, a very fitting time for her to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. We can only imagine the magnificence and splendor of her first Christmas In Heaven. One of the last times I saw her, she looked especially pretty. She could do anything with her hair and had it and her face made up really nice. I remarked on how pretty she looked and she seemed so pleased. She got the sweetest, now I would have to say "angelic" look on her face and said, "Why, thank you, mother." She usually called me "mom." There are many things I could say about my daughter, Julie. She was human with human weaknesses and flaws, but she loved other people unconditionally. She had so many friends from all walks of life. She never met a stranger. Everyone she met became one of her "best friends." She was kind and patient with the elderly, a trait that made her a wonderful geriatric nurse. She brought rays of sunshine to her little nursing home patients with her bubbly personality. It was not unusual to walk in where she was working and see her dancing around with some of the patients who were still ambulatory. Julie made me laugh a lot. She loved joking with me and telling me things she thought would drive me crazy, like when she told me her wedding dress was going to be not only strapless, but short! She delighted in my shock and horror when I found out she had a tatoo. She loved changing the color of her hair and seeing my reaction. She was definitely her own person--always making a statement. She was truly the "wildflower" that always jumped the fence out of the flower garden. I tried to get her to plant rosebushes in her flowerbeds and she said, "No, mom, you know I'm a wildflower, not a rose." I am so very thankful to have seen her almost every day the past six months she was working here in San Angelo. She was here at my house so much. Everything here reminds me of her. I expect her to come flying up in the driveway in her red jeep two hours before going to work with dirty scrubs in hand and asking me if I'd mind throwing them in the washer and dryer while she ran a few errands before going to work! My heart still skips a beat when I see a red Jeep Cherokee--then reality sets in. I miss everything about her. I miss her scent--the fresh way her hair always smelled--even the Georgio perfume she wore too much of that I complained about. I miss her brushing her teeth in my kitchen sink and laughing when I protested because she knew it drove me crazy. I miss the way she wore her hair pulled up in a little topknot like Pebbles on the Flintstones and the way she always had on sunglasses. She must have had fifty pairs! She liked to wear hats too. Another of her trademarks that drove Bonnie and I both nuts was she loved wearing really big gaudy earrings with tiny dainty necklaces! I miss her constantly putting on eye makeup--whether she needed it or not. I miss her bugging me to make her a lemonade pie ( how I wish I'd done that more). I miss her coming by and trying to con me into loaning her gas and/or cigarette money until payday. I miss her smoking on my porch. I miss her coming to my office and sneaking up behind me and scaring me. I miss her everytime I see a butterfly, wildflowers, angels, or anything purple. These were some of the things she loved. I miss her beautiful smile and laugh. I miss her hugs and telling me she loved me. We didn't always agree and she told me so, but in a kind way, and was hardly ever angry with me. I am thankful to have seen her the day before she left this earth. She was at my house when I got home from work and she was so excited about our Christmas plans. I was also fortunate to talk to her again later that night from work on the phone. Her last four words to me were "I love you, Mom." The night of the accident, I came home from my Eastern Star meeting and was on the computer. I had just emailed her and told her how proud I was of her. She had had a lot of problems in her life she had worked out. We sent each other emails a lot. I hit the "send" button, turned my computer off, and at that very moment the phone rang telling me my Julie was gone forever. There is no way to describe the depths of my despair and heartache. My son, who lives with me, was my strength. Jerry took over calling people who needed to be called and doing things that needed to be done until our family and friends started coming. He worshipped his sister and loved her with all of his heart. I look for anything and everything that reminds me of Julie. Things she made for me and gifts she gave me are most precious. She wrote a lot of poems and after her death, I found some of them. One very special one entitled "Mom" I had never seen before. I don't even know when she wrote it or why she didn't give it to me. I guess I wasn't meant to have it until now. Thank you for it, my precious daughter. Every picture I have of her means so much. I only wish I had more pictures of her and I together. I was always so busy taking pictures of everyone else, I didn't include myself in many of the pictures. I've asked "Why, God, why?" a thousand times but I know there will be no answer to that on this earth. I know he must have had a very special job in mind for her. There is no doubt in my mind that she is in Heaven or that she is an angel. I know that she soars with the highest and most beautiful of all angels. I am trying to find the strength and courage to keep my promise to her to help her little son in every way I can. I believe she has really been focusing on him from Heaven, because he has it so firmly in his mind that Mommy is a beautiful angel watching over him from Heaven. He really has a thing about angels now and they catch his eye everywhere he goes. I am very thankful to be able to see Julie's impish grin and twinkling eyes on his little face. I've lost a lot. A mother should never have to lose a child and the loss of my beautiful girl is devastating. I've cried nonstop for over two months since she left. I know she doesn't want me to be so sad, but I miss her so much. But I am so very, very thankful for the beautiful son and daughter I still have and will try to focus on what I still have instead of what I've lost. I've had many jobs in my life, but the only one I will leave this world being proud of is that of being their mother. My children mean more than anything in the world to me. I am thankful Glen and Brady have each other and pray that Glen will find another good woman as a helpmate for him and a mom for Brady. I am thankful that Bonnie has her David and their beautiful girls. I am praying that God will send Jerry a special girl who will be his soul mate and give him the little children he desperately wants. I am very thankful to still have my parents and a large, loving extended family and a host of friends. I know the road ahead is not going to be easy, but with God's loving guidance and Julie's watching over me, giving me some of the "wind beneath her wings", I will make it We all love and miss you so very much, Julie. I love you forever with all of my heart and soul, baby girl. Mom Bonnie, Jerry, Julie April 15, 1990 Bonnie's Wedding Julie, Bonnie, Mother, Jerry 1980 Julie 1985 Mom's Favorite Picture of Julie The face of an angel is all that is here One beautiful daughter that can't be near Not ready to leave, but had to go wanted to go back but God said no Leaving your life is a scary thought I guess it's something that can't be fought A mother, a wife, family and friends A meaningful Life that suddenly ends An angel is what she was meant to be Now just think of all she can see Looking over her family night and day Saying I Love You in her own special way In the night we sleep, in the day we cry She watches over us all from her star in the sky Jeanne Easter 2001 Julie's Favorite Picture of Mom MOM When I was little, you showed me the way And made me what I am today For all your guidance, caring and love I thank the lucky stars above I caused you problems years ago For that I'm sorry, I hope you know You taught me how to stand on my own If only then, I wish I'd known There were times when I was mad at you For little things you made me do But you were always there for me You let me be what I wanted to be I love you more than words can say And learn new things from you each day You're someone on whom I can depend You're not only my mother, you're my friend And I hope that someday I will be As good a mother as you are to me. JULIE In Appreciation