Yo Mamma Is.....
So Ugly Collection
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.
Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Like... Collection
Yo momma's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Yo momma's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Yo momma's like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Yo momma's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
Yo momma's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
Yo momma's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Yo momma's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
Yo momma's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Yo momma's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Yo momma's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
Yo momma's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
Yo momma's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Yo momma's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
So Fat Collection
Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac
Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas
Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials
Yo momma's so fat, the whale from Free Willy freed her
Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please
Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock
Yo momma's so fat, when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight
Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate
Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo momma's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
So Old Collection
Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Yo momma's so old, she farts out mummy dust.
Yo momma's so old, she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
Yo momma's so old, she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo momma's so old & ugly, her name is Ape.
Yo momma's so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.
Yo momma's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo momma's so old, she watches PBS.
Yo momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Jesus.
Yo momma's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
Yo momma's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
Yo momma's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Yo momma's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.
Yo momma's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
Yo momma's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Yo momma's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
Yo momma's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.
Yo momma's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo momma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo momma's so old, her memory is in black and white.
Yo momma's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Yo momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Yo momma's so old, she baby-sat for Jesus.
Yo momma's so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo momma's so old, her birth-certificate expired.
Yo momma's so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo momma's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
Yo momma's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
Yo momma's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo momma's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
Yo momma's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo momma's so old, she owes Moses a quarter.
Yo momma's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.
Yo momma's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo momma's so old, when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
Yo momma's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
Yo momma's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.
Yo momma's so old, she planted the first tree at Central Park.
Yo momma's so old, her birthday expired.
Yo momma's so old, she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
Yo momma's so old, she co-wrote the ten commandments.
Yo momma's so old, she has an autographed bible.
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