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Insults and Put-downs for everyday use
A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory
He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others
Heckler Put-downs
I'll let you off. I remember the first time I tried beer.
You're quite cute. What can I get for a twenty?
The anonymous alcoholic, ladies and gentlemen!
I'm impressed; I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before
Congratulations; you're a perfect argument against brother-sister marriages.
That can't be your face. Did your neck throw up?
Ick. What a disgusting slob. Somebody call security; we've been invades by killer slugs.
Hey, I didn't know you could get epilepsy without a brain.
You've heard about the good time had by all, ladies and gentlemen - and here she is.
You know, your mother is really good in bed - but I guess you found that out for yourself already.
This may look easy to you, but I assure you your mother is even easier.
When you were born, did they let your mother out of her cell?
I heard your mother had an abortion, and now I see it's true.
I went to the ice cream parlour round the corner, and the special of the day was your mother. 1 had three scoops, in a cone.
That's a low blow - and talking of low blows, how's your mother?
Tell me, how many Peeping Toms has your mother cured?
What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
Look folks - a face not even a mother could love.
Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
What do you want to do if you grow up?
I have a child's soul - in a special jar back home.
I bet you get bullied a lot.
Say, you're really special, aren't you.
Look, this is my job. I don't turn up at your work and spit on the burgers.
Let me guess - tonight's square dance was cancelled, right?
Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I started yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?
Where are you from? I'm sorry? No, I heard OK I just pity you.
Intelligence
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
I would ask you how old you are, but I reckon you can't count that high.
I would have like to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid..
I'm blonde. What's your excuse?
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
She has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.
Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like this guy just gargled.
Some folks are so dumb, they have to be watered twice a week.
That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
More Classic Jokes
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