Fratunday: It poured down rain most of Friday. I went over to the collesium to see if anyone was crazy enough to try to play frisbee, and found no one. But, I did have a fun time driving through all the puddles. When I returned, I met up with Art and Kat to go to a thrift store Bag Sale. It was interesting going through all the clothes and stuff. We found a cell phone that weighed about 5 pounds, and some really nice shirts. Then came the packing stage, something that I considered to be fun. Give me math problems and I'll be happy. When we got back to campus, we walked into dinner, Art wearing his trucker's hat and newly acquired vest. Then there was the challenge that Art could not remain silent for 5 minutes. Benson was an unwitting victim in all this, coming in the middle of it and being used for the humor of the rest of us. And then there was the whipped cream incident. It was like one of those spats that could have caused WWIII but didn't amount to anything more than a battle over like Afghanistan or Hondurus or something. So I ducked out of there before it got too rowdy. Later, from 8-10, Casino Night in the Richardson lobby. They severely underestimated the number of people showing up. And the house at the Blackjack table went broke, twice. I never got any good cards in Texas Hold'em, so I was out of money rather quickly. It was still fun to watch. Then at 11, I met up with the Campus Crusade guys on the 2nd Floor for our own game of Texas Hold'em. Except they weren't ready. Jimmy was playing his NCAA Football franchise, Winthrop beating down Texas in the Fiesta Bowl for the National Championship. I stay and watch that for a while, until Jimmy is sent to go get the girls in the lobby. Then Pierre causes Jimmy to get sacked and fumble the football while he was gone, thus upending Jimmy's tyrannical stats control and making Felder the rushing leader once again. You see, Jimmy had benched Russell once he gained 100 yards, and then proceded to make himself, the QB, gain more than Russell. It was all quite entertaining. Then came the card game and the randomness of all of that. At about 1:30 Art shows up looking for a computer to type some of the stuff he had written on. Chad allows him to use his and he was there until about 2. The paper he had started on Wednesday was near completion, and Art could not sleep until it was done. He gave me a copy and told me to slip it under his door after I finished reading it, and he went upstairs. Chad kicked us out of his room not too much after that. I finished reading the paper and was in the process of trying to slip it under the door when Art opened. He still couldn't fall asleep. It was 3 am. I, understanding what it is like to have ideas race through your mind constantly while you are trying to fall asleep, stayed and talked with Art, because I knew that if he talked it out long enough, he would wear himself out and be able to go to sleep. He has been struggling with why Christians do not challenge each other enough, and why everyone seems so fake. He said he wished that more people thought about religion as much as I did. He pointed out that by of being Christian is giving charity, and yet everyone borrows money from me. He went over why he hates it when people call me the devil, because it's labeling me. How everything is just about putting names on people, and how the "Christians" only seem to want to challenge the non-Christians and seem to leave each other alone. How the fellowship doesn't seem to be there, or is at least not as prevelant as it should be. And I got to restate my grievences, like how I want to figure things out on my own, and not have it handed to me by some church or some preacher. How I see knowledge coming from conflicting ideas, and only giving one side is pointless, becaues you don't learn it, you only recite it. I don't see what I am doing as wrong, because, even though I may not believe, I am still looking and investigating, I'm still asking the tough questions. Religion is very important to me, and I have atheistic leanings. I want to figure out what life is all about, and as long as I keep up the pursuit, I won't have any problems, because I will eventually find an answer, or at least a convincing argument. At 4:30, Art was finally tired enough to get some sleep, and my duties of being a good friend were over. I do love those conversations, and I have learned so much about life from talking Art. And that is why I am really looking forward to rooming with him next year. Can't wait. The conversation lingered with me most of Saturday, which could explain why I was in a funk. I awoke at 12:30 and played frisbee at 2. We had 2 very good games, even though the field was rediculously muddy. And then, after dinner, the guys got together and watched Broken Arrow in the lobby. Ponds, Benson, AR, and I where captivated by the action film. I admire the character John Travolta plays, and if I was a villian, that's the type I'd like to be and that's how I'd want to act. After the movie, Benson tells me he needs to go talk to Anna, but he will drop by later so we can hang out. This was at 11:30. I finally give up on him and start leaving to go for a walk or a drive or something so my roomate can go to sleep at 2. I meet Benson in the lobby of Richardson. And we talk, and I fulfill my duty as a friend. And Benson relates to me all the problems in his life, basically revolving around his recently ended relationship. And I interject things from last night, and I attempt to suggest the Christian thing to do. But I also tell him about my problems, about how badly he cut me at dinner, about how I feel I have been fake by playing these pre-relationship, about the epiphany I had about not being ready to be in relationship. About how I am afraid that I'm not really ready, and I have been clouding the truth with the hopes of something actually being there, because I have wanted to be in a relationship for so long having an actual possibility makes me forget things. It is tough to say that you are afraid, but in the place of the confidence that existed 48 hours before, I had fear. Benson reassured me that I was doing things for the right reasons, and that I do truly care about her. And he prescribed the same patience that Kat did just 2 days before. I am trying to follow their advice. Our conversation wrapped up at 4 am. Two nights in a row of being a good friend.