Issue Four: Coming October 1
Chuck Knew Better
The way she looked at him drove Chuck wild. Her eyes were the most perfect green he’d ever seen. Those eyes. It was always the eyes that got him. Chuck was a lover, not a fighter, but this time he definitely needed to fight. He needed to fight the temptation building deep in his gut.
Chuck knew this feeling and he knew as soon as he felt it that he was in trouble. Love is tricky business. Love at first site is almost impossible business. It had only happened to him once in his life, but once was enough. He had heard stories about this kind of love, and none of them had happy endings.
Even if he could somehow make her love him, it was doomed from the start. It was only the circumstances that brought them together anyway, not any chemistry. Situations beyond his control had thrown them together. Now she was unavoidable. “Fate’s a cruel bitch,” Chuck thought. He wondered how on earth he could be around the most perfect woman he’d ever met without eventually cracking and telling her about his affection for her.
On this particular day, Chuck found himself sharing a table with her at the mall food court. She was saying something about a job interview or something about some kind of appointment, but Chuck heard none of it. He was in complete and total rapture. When he falls, he falls fast and he falls hard. No doubt about that.
“Touch her. Touch her. Touch her. Touch her,” was running on an endless loop in his head. He knew he had to ignore it. “But she looks so soft,” he almost said aloud. But Chuck knew he didn’t dare reach out and touch her. That’s how all the trouble at the bank started. And at the dentist’s office. And at the deli.
Then the doubt set in. “I’m nothing but a magnet for trouble. What would a woman like that want with a guy like me,” he wondered. But the signs! All the signs were there. She was so nice to him. And she listened to him. She had even said, on more than one occasion mind you, that she believed in him. And of course, he couldn’t dismiss the glistening eyed smiles. Those smiles set him on fire!
Time passed and she continued talking. This time it was something about the future and making plans or something or other. Chuck was far too busy to listen. He was busy making plans of his own. With his eyes glazed over, he was fantasizing about marrying her, getting out of town, and making a new start of life. Maybe even a family. “Imagine that,” he thought. He desperately wanted those things. More than he’d wanted anything in a long long time. But deep down, Chuck knew better.
Chuck knew that falling in love with his parole officer could only lead to bad things. Very very bad things.
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The One-Eyed Hooker Who Didn’t Like People
There was a hooker.
An antisocial cyclops.
The title told you.
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Bad Date
She was beautiful
Long nails, great breasts, huge penis
That sure was a surprise.
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Vegas
Casino wedding
Tables were cold, so was she
Still paying for both
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Have a Seat
Public toilet seats
As much as I hate cold ones
A warm one is worse
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Hoosier Saturday Night
Get tight
Need a light
Start a fight
Way too white
Hoosier Saturday night