| Part 4 | Disclaimers |
Spoilers in this part: NIL
Daniel’s eyes opened slowly, the sloth of sleep wearing off gradually as his eyes focused on the shape of the face staring back at him.
“Oh… God,” He groaned deeply as he dragged his knees up to his chest and rolled onto his side, drawing himself into a fetal position.
Paul laughed softly and propped himself up onto an elbow to look down at the face partially hidden beneath the stained pillow. “Not quite the reaction I was expecting.”
Daniel peered from beneath the edge of the pillow through one eye only. “I’m sorry,” he said in a voice still roughened by sleep. Slowly he moved again, uncurling and straightening out onto his back, both hands now rubbed his face before he stared up at the ceiling. His groggy mind replayed the events of the night before - the touches, the groans, the cries of completion. A sudden shiver coursed through Daniel’s body, leaving him feeling cold.
Paul shifted his weight on his elbow and reached for the sheet that wasn’t quite covering Daniel’s early morning partial-erection. He eased the sheet over the groin and allowed it to drop onto Daniel’s flat stomach as he asked, “What for?” It only took a moment for him to register the look in Daniel’s eyes. “Oh no! Don’t you dare apologize for that! I’m as guilty as you!”
“Guilty?” Daniel tilted his head slightly and his gaze traveled down from Paul’s eyes to his mouth then to his chest before returning along the same path to the green eyes once more.
Paul laughed again, and then touched a finger to Daniel’s flattened nipple, watching curiously as it wrinkled into a tight nub beneath his fingertip. “I wanted you just as much as you wanted-” He saw the blue eyes fix onto him. “It-” he said.
Daniel’s eyes fluttered. There was no amusement in them, only concern. “Paul..” He started but was silenced by two fingers against his parched lips.
“I wanted this too..”
“Yeah, that’s written all over your face,” Daniel muttered and flung his arms down heavily, making the springs in the mattress vibrate.
Paul laughed and reached out to put his hand on Daniel’s arm, right at the bicep. “I mean it,” he said, removing his hand when Daniel turned his head to look at him again. “You needed this..”
“I needed this?” Daniel stressed indignantly as he struggled to sit up, then he hooked his arms around his sheet-covered knees.
Paul gave another soft laugh, which never managed to sound joyful, but rather strained and embarrassed. “Okay, we both needed this.”
Daniel rolled his eyes and pursed his lips.
“Really!” Paul said, grabbing Daniel’s wrists as the anthropologist covered his face and groaned once again. Tugging the hands away, which resulted in a genuinely amused chortle from the older man, Paul said, “You should see yourself at the moment!” He peered deeply into Daniel’s eyes and peripherally took in the golden shadow adorning Daniel’s cheeks and sharp jaw line. “You sport the best morning-after look! Has anyone ever told you that?” The lips were rosy and very inviting, more so when Daniel licked at them with a pointy pink tongue.
With a wary glance, Daniel leaned back onto outstretched arms and sized up the man kneeling beside him. “Ah, thank you… I think.”
Paul laughed comfortably and got up off the bed, hunted through the clothes on the floor for his underwear and slid into them when he found it. Daniel watched him with interest.
“I’m sorry I can’t stay around, but I have to get back to the Pentagon,” Paul explained as he frowned at the floor, searching for his pants this time. “I’m going to look like a crumpled mess.” He kicked Daniel’s pants aside and lifted his own pants off the ground.
“I own an iron,” Daniel offered from the bed.
Paul looked at him then sighed with a smile. “Of course.”
Daniel blinked rapidly as he frowned and got out of bed. He too searched for his underwear then he went out into the living area and set up the iron and board. Paul soon joined him, wrapped in a bath towel around his waist.
Daniel stepped away from the board so that Paul could put his clothes down. He busied himself with the preparation of the coffee, all the while trying to work through why this scene was unsettling him so much. Obviously his expressions were visible to Paul, who asked, “Anything wrong?”
The younger man turned and leaned back against the counter. “I was going to ask you the same thing,” he said, folding his arms over his bare chest.
“Why? I’m fine.” Paul laughed. He definitely appeared happy.
Daniel cringed before saying, “Look, about last night..”
“They ought to make a movie called that,” the older man quipped as he pressed the creases from his dress blues.
“They did.” Daniel frowned again.
Paul’s brows went up. “They did?”
“Some eighties trash.. anyway-” Daniel shook his head to get that thought from his mind and them back onto the issue at hand.
Paul sighed and put the iron to rest. “Daniel, it’s okay,” he assured him; well aware of the mental beating Daniel was putting himself through right now. The guy wore his thoughts on his sleeve - that was for sure! It was about time he put Daniel out of his obvious misery but being as blunt as he could be. Paul’s eyes traveled down Daniel’s partially naked body then he met the worried gaze. “Last night was .. great – fantastic… but…”
Daniel quirked his head - Now he was getting the blow off? “But?”
Paul turned to face him squarely. He placed his hand on his chest, over his dog tags as it happened, as he said, “I’m not Colonel O’Neill..”
Trying to preserve some dignity, Daniel said, “Did I say you had to be?”
Paul smiled at that. “I told you last night, I know what it’s like to want to be with someone and know you don’t stand a chance in hell of getting them. It’s hard, especially if you have to work with that person-”
Paul’s eyes traveled down again for a moment to where faint golden hairs swirled around Daniel’s neat navel. He met Daniel’s eyes again then turned towards the iron and finished off his pants. Daniel stepped over to the board and peered into Paul’s face.
“You too, huh?”
Paul gave an embarrassed smile. “Yeah, me too.”
“Anyone I know?” Daniel asked, genuinely interested.
Paul shook his head. “No one you’d know,” he said. He lifted his pants off the ironing board and held his foot up, about to step into them. He paused. “Maybe I should shower first.”
“Might be a good idea,” Daniel said, able to smell the both of them after their night of frantic sex. Paul agreed and moved towards the bathroom. “I have a spare razor in the cabinet,” Daniel called after him. Paul stopped, smiled at him, thanked him then went into the bathroom.
Daniel poured out coffee for the both of them and put on some toast. He was spreading the toast when Paul emerged from the bathroom, looking distinguished in his military blues again. For a moment Daniel remembered again that he’d had sex with Major Paul Davis, a man that he hadn’t ever considered before last night. Not just any john from a bar, which he’d done before when he needed to, but a MAJOR, a military man. Military men didn’t have homosexual relations - well, Daniel thought to himself, not the military man that he ‘wanted’ anyway. Guilt over using Paul like that made his throat constrict tightly.
Davis was drying his short hair with a towel when Daniel passed over a cup of steaming coffee to him. “Thanks,” he said on a sigh, implying his desire for the coffee.
“You’d never suspect your clothes spent a night on my floor..” Daniel said in an attempt to sound relaxed.
Paul looked down at his suit then smiled at his companion. “Our secret is safe.”
Daniel flicked a glance at Paul then concentrated on his drink. Paul watched him with interest. He wondered what was going through his friend’s mind. He put his coffee on the sink as he stepped closer to Daniel. The younger man looked up as Paul cupped his cheek.
“If I’ve confused you further, I’m sorry,” Paul said. “It wasn’t my intention. You were hurting and I wanted to help..” When Daniel’s expression changed to one of slight challenge, Paul nodded and went on to say, “Admittedly, I wanted to help me too, but..” He smiled, hoping Daniel would say something too.
“Who is it you’re in love with?”
Paul stared directly at him but didn’t answer.
“Come on,” Daniel urged as he moved his face from the touch. “You know about Jack. It’s only fair.”
Again, Davis didn’t respond then he shrugged and gave a soft sigh, resigning himself to admitting the truth to Daniel. “His name’s Lockston. I work with him at the Pentagon. I won’t say anymore other than it’s going to be a cold day in hell when we finally get together.” He finished with a laugh but Daniel knew he meant it.
“Birds of a feather.”
“Sleep together-” Paul laughed again, this time Daniel joined him, but neither man laughed jovially – it was more a strained expel of air than one derived from humor. When Daniel met and held Paul’s gaze again the air between them grew edgy.
//Where to from now?// ran through both men’s mind.
Daniel dipped his face to avoid the green eyes when he told Paul, “My offer from last night still stands. You’re welcomed to stay here whenever you’re in town.”
The ball was in Paul’s court, as far as Daniel was concerned. He looked up again and met the gaze defiantly. His jaw was visibly clamping.
Paul broke the tension when he asked, “Same accommodation?”
The question caught Daniel off guard, made his heart pump harder. Was he ready to up the ante? “We could use my bed next time..” He swallowed to wet his mouth then breathed again when he saw the acceptance in Paul’s eyes.
Paul stepped up closer to him. He traced his finger down Daniel’s stubble. “Let’s keep this casual though, okay?”
“Absolutely,” Daniel agreed enthusiastically.
Paul pinched the chin lightly and guided Daniel’s mouth to his own. The kiss sealed the deal then the men parted and smiled at each other. Relief filled the room.
“Maybe hell will freeze over and we both get what we want.”
Paul turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the dining chair. As he shrugged it on he said, “I wouldn’t count on it. We’ve both latched onto the two most hetero men in the military, I should think.”
“Well-” Daniel smiled as he stepped up against the back of Paul. “We’ll have to make do,” he said into his ear.
Paul grinned and twisted to look at him. “I could think of worst ways to suffer..”
“Thank you.” Daniel laughed and stepped back to allow Paul to turn fully around.
The older man gave an apologetic look as he glanced at his watch. “I really have to go.”
“I’ll change-” Daniel moved off but was caught his wrist and stopped. Daniel looked at the hold then up into Paul’s eyes.
“No, I've already called a taxi.”
It was clear that what they had shared the night before ended here and now. Paul had to get back to his life and that had no place for Daniel. Despite what they shared and what they had just promised each other, it was clear that there was a line down the centre for this relationship. A very clear, very distinct, line.
“Sure,” Daniel agreed.
End of part four
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Rights held by Nessesitee –Dec 2002