| Part 3 | Disclaimers |
Spoilers in this part: NIL
Paul placed the framed picture of Daniel astride a camel in Egypt back onto the cluttered shelf as the man himself approached him with a cup of steaming fresh brew.
“Thanks-” the Major sighed as he took the hot cup. “Your place is just amazing, Daniel.”
The host smiled and cast his gaze around the white apartment. “It’s home,” he said simply as he settled himself onto one of his sofas and watched Paul settle himself onto the other one, opposite him.
“Have you been here long?”
As he scratched at his eyebrow with his thumbnail Daniel tried to recall when he moved in. “I think it’s been about six months now. Jack helped me find it-” His gaze settled on the swords on the wall by his bedroom door. Paul twisted to follow the gaze. “He got those as a House Warming gift.”
“Very..” Paul sat back around. “Nice.”
Daniel smile faded slowly as he looked down into his cup. “I guess he thought they’d go with the apartment..”
“But not the tenant, surely?”
The younger man lifted his head back to meet the green-eyed gaze. After he blinked a few times, Daniel said, “You don’t think they suit me?” The look on his face told Paul that he was both surprised and happy that Paul had surmised correctly.
Paul held the stare and felt his heart rate quicken in the intensity of the clear blue eyes. “I think they could, in a very abstract way.. but I don’t know you as well as the Colonel would.”
Daniel shrugged and muttered something against the lip of his cup that Paul presumed was casting aspersions on Jack’s ability to read his friend. Then Daniel took the drink down quickly and asked, “Did you want something with your coffee?”
“Something? Oh, no.. thanks, I’m still full from dinner..” Paul patted his stomach to make his point.
Daniel nodded and smiled like he felt the same way really. They fell into companionable silence which Paul broke with, “Look, Daniel, I’m really sorry for letting the cat out of the bag earlier…about the Major and the Colonel.”
Daniel looked down into his cup and gave a half smile that creased one cheek with a dimple. Unhappily he said, “It’s okay. To be honest, I’ve suspected something like this between them for a while. Since that time they were lost..” He coughed and took another long sip, his face contorting in ways that indicated his discomfort – incredible discomfort – at discussing this.
Paul swallowed and nodded as he diverted his gaze into his cup as well. After a moment he looked up at the bowed head of the man opposite him. He knew he should keep quiet now about it, but Daniel was clearly hurting and Paul couldn’t bear to watch that. He figured that Daniel needed to know that someone cared about him.
“I know how hard that period was for you, Daniel. How hard you tried to get them back home. It certainly wasn’t the best time for you..” He held his hand out and indicated towards Daniel. “With your health like it was..”
Again the look of sheer surprise that Paul understood him so well filled Daniel’s face. Paul felt slight jubilation that Daniel was blushing slightly. He curtailed that though as he asked, sincerely, “Did they ever know how ill you made yourself over them?” He’d done it. He’d managed to make Daniel see that someone was at least interested in him, even if his own team were treating him so badly.
Daniel bit his lips together in a pain-filled smile, echoing Paul’s thoughts. “The opportunity didn’t arise..” he tried to explain politely.
“Of course, they were so caught up in themselves..” Paul scoffed.
Daniel blinked rapidly and looked down again, this time at the hand that he was smoothing over his thigh in what seemed to Paul to be a nervous response. “It’s put a few things into perspective for me.. hearing this..”
The older man tilted his head slightly. “Like?”
Daniel sighed as he rubbed his brow line with his thumb and fingertips. “Ah, like…Jack has been a little.. umm. difficult to work with for the past few months. I thought it was something between us.. something I’d done, or not done…” He grimaced slightly then rolled his eyes to avoid Paul’s incredulous expression.
When he did speak, Paul’s voice was soft with respect but his tone was reverently derisive, “Why would you assume it was you?” He leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs as he peered across the dimly lit room to the man opposite him.
Daniel shrugged.
Paul spoke before he knew what he was saying – always a bad thing for him, because once he led with his heart his head lost it’s cool, controlled restraint and he was likely to say things he might later regret. The alcohol coursing through his systems didn’t help. “Daniel you’d have to be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met,” he rushed on, softening his earnest tone with a light, bewildered chuckle. “You have such a level of care.. of.. of love.. , for your team members-” He noticed the moment of panic that raced over Daniel’s face at that word. He stored that away in a millisecond as he went on to say.. “-you worked so damn hard to get them home and did they even stop to say thank you?” The roll of blue eyes told Paul all he needed to know. “I didn’t think so,” he said with unhidden disgust.
“We’ve been really busy since..”
“And now you’re making excuses for them. Daniel…” Paul shook his head and the anthropologist shrugged apologetically. “God, don’t you know ..?” He exploded in a soft voice but caught his words before he finished the sentence. With a shake of his head he got up from the sofa. The puzzled blue eyes followed him as he went to the kitchen, put his cup away then came back out. When he returned he’d gained his control once again. “I’m sorry.” He waved his hands to dismiss his impertinent behavior. “They are your friends and you deal with them the best way you can.”
Daniel got up off the sofa too. “No, you’re right,” he said in a low voice, his eyes searching the face of the man standing before him. “There is no excuse for Jack’s behavior.. I mean.. there is, and I discovered that tonight.. but..”
Paul stared back at Daniel intently as he blurted out, “There is NO excuse for treating you badly.”
Daniel stared at him, with his endearing ‘Deer-in-headlights’ expression that only Daniel could do and get away with at his age. Paul felt a rush of heat across his cheeks and knew he’d given away too much - Daniel was looking at him with definite suspicion. Making a show of checking his watch, Paul announced, “I should.. go. I have an early flight tomorrow.”
Daniel was silent a moment then he said, “You’re more than welcomed to spend the night..” A deep blush seeped over the archaeologist’s face now when Paul raised his head at that comment and looked at him with surprise. Stumbling as if he realized the mistake, Daniel clarified, “I have a sofa bed.” He huffed out a deep breath and finally held Paul’s gaze for more than a second.
Paul wondered if he read in the eyes ‘unless you’d rather a different arrangement’. That might also be wishful thinking, so he smiled beguiling at his flustered friend and said, “If you’re sure?” as casually as he could manage. “Because I was feeling really bad about making you drive all the way out there again tonight.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Daniel said, nonchalantly, “I mean, if you have to be back there…?”
“No,” Paul assured him, quickly. “I don’t have to. Not really. I can catch a cab in the morning. I won’t even have to disturb you.”
Daniel smiled as he moved to sit again now that he wasn’t going to have to go out again then he realized Paul might be tired. He checked. “Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed now?”
Paul bit back the smirk that wanted to rule his face at the illicit thoughts that Daniel’s seemingly innocent question had sent spiraling through his mind. Perhaps he wasn’t so innocent after all, the major told himself. No harm in upping the ‘flirt register’ to find out. “Actually, I’m not very tired – at the moment.”
For a second he thought his wish would come true as Daniel started to say something then thought the better of it, clamping his mouth shut instead. The younger man merely returned to his chair and collected up his coffee. Paul decided that it was time to sit as well, and went back to his perch on the sofa.
Daniel felt himself breathing harder. He wondered if Paul could sense it. Why did people like Paul Davis unsettle him so much, despite the amount of respect and (he had to be honest) attraction that they filled him with? Was he scared of showing a side to them that Military men just didn’t seem to appreciate? Why did they attract him so much therefore? Why did he live on the double edge sword with them? On one hand they provided him with a sense of security, or friendship, but on the other hand, they unsettled his academic mindset with their own set of rules and their strict ways.
He knew why Jack unsettled him though, he’d always known why. As a child he developed a dependence thing, where he grew extremely fond, loved almost, people who put themselves out for him in random acts of kindness. He didn’t feel indebted to them so much, but he did feel incredible warmth around them, enjoyed being with them and wanted to protect them from ill feeling as well. Maybe Paul’s words of care, for he was sure that was all they were from Paul, despite how he might wish it were different, were simply another form of his attraction to Jack – to the gruff, rough-and-ready man who can sometimes bend enough to show some gentleness towards the scholar, letting him harbor in a corner of their hearts that no one else would be allowed to.
From the moment Jack took care of him on his first night back after losing Sha’re, and the look of pain in Jack’s eyes when he spoke of his wife who’d recently left him, Daniel felt a spike go through him that remained there, even today, and dulled his heart each time Jack was hurting.
Lately, though, Jack didn’t confide his ‘hurts’ to Daniel like he used to. Lately, Jack was downright rude to him at times. Tonight, he found out why. Daniel groaned loudly.
“Whoa!” Paul said through a smile. “That sounded bad.”
Daniel looked over at him, startled that he’d reacted so overtly then he waved it away as he said, “I was just thinking about….” He didn’t need to say their names, the roll of his eyes said enough.
Paul gave him a kind smile. “I gathered.”
Daniel made a double-take then sat forward, his elbows on his knees, his hand cupping his coffee and his face set in an earnest frown. “I can’t believe Jack did this. That he allowed for this to happen.”
“Major Carter is a beautiful, intelligent woman,” Paul said to gauge Daniel’s reaction.
“Sam is his subordinate,” Daniel said bluntly then sat back in his chair and rubbed a thumb and finger into his tired eyes. Daniel was well aware that on top of losing Jack to Sam in an emotional sense he’d lose either Jack *or* Sam in a physical sense, too. Probably Jack, he surmised silently,. Jack would stay at home and look after the kids… Oh God, Daniel’s stomach lurched. “What the hell would she see in someone like Jack anyway? He’s way dumber than she is, he’s snide and cynical, he’s..” Daniel’s voice tapered off as he realized he was trying to convince himself of Jack’s shortcomings. It wasn’t working though.
Paul sensed the growing grief in his friend. “Look, I’m sorry, Daniel,” he said gently. “Obviously I was wrong in telling you what I overheard. I didn’t consider that you didn’t already know, I guess.”
Daniel leaned forward and put his coffee onto the television guide. With his elbows on his thighs again he clasped his hands together. “I think it was about time someone explained the reason why the two of them have been acting so.. oddly.”
“Oddly?”
Daniel’s expressive eyes flashed as he scoffed, “Tell me you haven’t noticed Sam’s hair?”
Paul had never heard that tone in Daniel’s voice, despite its subtlety. It invited camaraderie between them, an invitation into the secret garden of Daniel Jackson’s true feelings. In this confidence, Paul spoke openly. “I did, actually. And if I may say so,” He wanted to add his support to Daniel’s obvious derision, “I don’t think it suits her.”
“It suits the new her, perfectly,” Daniel said sadly while he held Paul’s gaze intently.
“Major Samantha Carter has become a fluffy airhead? I don’t buy that, Daniel,” Paul revoked through a polite laugh.
Daniel screwed his face up on one side as he shrugged. Love did strange things to people, and affected some women beyond recognition. Still, he didn’t think of Sam as an airhead either but did agree that the hair did sit strangely on the once very-military woman. “I wouldn’t have described it thus either, but-” He held his hand towards his companion and added, “She’s certainly been Jack’s staunchest supporter over the past months..”
“Since they got back?”
Daniel nodded without speaking.
“But it was never obvious, what was happening between them?”
Shaking his head, Daniel told him passionately, “That’s the strangest part. I didn’t suspect a thing. They have been a little weird, especially around each other. Jack’s been .. well, downright rude to me on several occasions, like I’m in their way or something… And, Sam’s been more tolerant of his growing stupidity..”
Suddenly Daniel stopped talking and stared at Paul aware that his tirade against the military folk would not sit well with another military mind – not one that thought Sam was a beautiful, intelligent woman, at least. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be….” He scrambled to his feet a little awkwardly, as if the passionate outburst had derailed his senses for a moment. As he moved towards the kitchen he finished part of his sentence, “Talking.. like this..”
Paul watched him go into the kitchen to refill his cup. He’d seen the distress in Daniel’s eyes, heard it in his voice, felt it in the palpable disappointment that filled the apartment. He rose to his feet slowly, unsure if he should follow Daniel, or leave him be with his angst about Sam. When he heard a slamming of a cup onto the bench he quickly stepped over to the entrance to the kitchen and discovered Daniel at the counter, arms out-stretched, his head bowed and his hands curled into fists of white on the counter edge.
Paul ached with the jealousy seething from Daniel at the moment. “I’m sorry,” he said again, making the other man spin around in surprise. Stepping up to Daniel, Paul searched the blue eyes as he said, “I should have been more tactful. I didn’t mean to hurt you..”
Daniel stared back at him. “It wasn’t you that hurt me,” he replied, softly. Paul’s eyes darted over the handsome face now, and Daniel felt a prickly sensation wash through him. He was being sized up.. by Paul Davis? He caught his breath and Paul’s eyes immediately went to his mouth. The pupils dilated further against the green. As Paul’s eyes finally lifted to met Daniel’s gaze the younger man said, “It was Jack..”
Paul held Daniel’s stare intently. “Jack?” He said softly back to him.
Daniel lifted his chin slightly when he saw the way the eyes dilated even more at that truth. Paul was too close to him now, too inside his personal space not to understand what such a confession meant. Daniel tilted his head slightly to the side as he held the gaze. Fear rippled through him for a moment at the thought of actually kissing this man – even though it was the biggest desire on his mind right now Daniel knew that the ramifications, should he be wrong about Davis, were huge.
So he thought again and dropped his chin as he stepped back against the counter. He took some comfort in the fact that he hadn’t begun to lean towards Paul, so if the man was oblivious to male-male partnerships he just might not have noticed the seemingly-all-too-close call.
Paul shifted onto his back foot at the same time and in doing so, banged his head on one of Daniel’s hanging pots. That broke the tension and Daniel started to laugh. So did Paul, as he rubbed his head.
Relieved now, Daniel turned to make the coffees as he said, “You’re not the first to do that.” He managed to stop himself from saying that Jack did it all the time.
“That’s some comfort,” the blushing man mumbled sheepishly as he continued to rub his head, despite the fact that it didn’t hurt any more. When he saw that Daniel hadn’t filled his cup yet he quickly reached around him to lay his hand over the top, stalling him. Daniel twisted to look at him, slightly behind his left shoulder and close enough to feel through his own thin shirt. “I think I should call it a night,” Paul explained, staring right into the close blue eyes. “I have a big day tomorrow..”
Wordlessly, Daniel nodded and put the decanter back on the hotplate, switched off the unit and led Paul to the library where the sofa bed was, along the way he explained where the bathroom was and told Paul to make himself at home in the morning by grabbing a shower before he left. From a cupboard in the corner of the room he pulled out clean bedding and a small array of pillows, with differing softness, for Paul to choose from. The two men quickly made short work of the bed, assembling it and making it up together.
Daniel was fitting a clean slip to the pillow as he said, “I hope the bed’s comfortable. I’ve had no complaints.”
“They’re a good idea. I should get one for my apartment,” Paul said, picking up the left over pillows and clutching them to his chest. “Not that I get many callers..”
“Jack’s about the only one that stays..” Daniel said then stopped again. It would seem that the times of Jack staying the night, too tired or too inebriated to drive home, were over. He’d be spending nights.. with.. Sam.. now.
Obviously his feelings played across his face, because Paul asked, “Are you okay?” and Daniel was startled to see he was so close again. He searched from green eye to green eye then gave a mute nod. “Sure?” The older man wasn’t convinced.
“I was just thinking..” Daniel said, his throat dry now as he became aware of the faint aftershave Paul was wearing. He shivered slightly then pulled his thoughts together as he said, lightly, “That this bed can be yours whenever you’re here for a Diplomatic treaty..”
“Or the next emergency?” Paul smiled, trying to relieve the angst from the handsome face. .
“That, too.” Daniel smiled unconvincingly. He settled back so that he was propped against the edge of the desk behind him - partly sitting, partly standing - and his feet tangled with Paul’s in the small space left remaining by the extended sofa.
Paul lowered his face and said, “Thank you, Daniel. That’s a very .. kind .. gesture.” He was aware how Daniel’s arms looked… incredible.. in this light - lying casually in what lap he had, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to reveal downy-haired forearms.
“It’s the least I can do,” Daniel said, making Paul raise his face in question. “You’ve been beside me through some pretty harrowing times, especially lately,” he told him in a voice hushed to just above a whisper. The tone sent a shiver down Paul’s spine and made the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
“To say it was my pleasure is wrong, but to say it is always an honor to work alongside you..” Paul searched Daniel’s eyes again. “Just doesn’t cover it either.”
Daniel’s mouth dropped slightly and Paul could see him working at his jaw, like he did many times when he had something to say but lacked the words to say it. They were still a moment before Daniel made the slightest move to extract the extra pillows from Paul’s clutches.
As Daniel twisted to drop the unwanted pillows on the floor beside his desk, he heard Paul call his name quietly. When he looked at him, there was something new about Paul’s gaze.
“What is it?” Daniel asked, not sure if he was responding to Paul’s word or his own question.
“When you said that you were hurt.. by Jack?”
Daniel’s eyes dipped to Paul’s lips then he subconsciously wet his own lips then raised his eyes to Paul’s gaze once again. Paul almost choked on his breath but he held his composure. “Did I mistake what you meant?”
Daniel gave Paul another look unlike one he’d ever seen before. Daniel looked – confident – in a way Paul had never witnessed. As he slowly got to his feet from where he was slumped against the edge of the desk, Daniel stared intently into Paul’s eyes. For a moment Paul thought he would kiss him but then Daniel went slightly to the side, about to step past him. Instinctually, Paul went to stop him and his body reacted before his brain weighed the cause-and-effect of the situation. He hands found easy rest on Daniel’s waist, halting the moving man mere inches from his face. Daniel looked right into Paul’s eyes, his chest heaving with deep breaths.
Paul could read a question in the expressive eyes. Daniel was asking him to start something, he felt sure of that now, so he dug his fingers into Daniel’s hard hips and drew him closer. Paul breathed out one final, deep breath for courage then he tenderly pressed his lips to Daniel’s - feeling the velvety softness of the other man’s mouth.
Daniel’s response was instant. He wrapped his arms around Paul’s neck tightly and threaded his fingers through his hair as he opened his mouth and accepted Paul’s tongue inside. They kissed for a long time, breathing through their nose so that they could prolong the entanglement. When they drew back both were panting heavily through lips reddened by stubble graze. Daniel wet his lips as he removed his glasses, mumbled, “I’m sorry, that.. that shouldn’t have happened,” and started to move away.
Paul held him firm again. “Why not?” He asked, his eyes searching his mate’s intently. Daniel shook his head sadly but Paul tugged him closer again until they were groin to groin. He loved the leanness of Daniel’s body and the way it curved with ease away from him. “I want this too. I know what it’s like to be in love with someone you can’t have. How frustrating it can be..” On that he brushed his groin against Daniel’s to highlight his words.
Daniel said nothing, but returned an expression-filled look that told Paul he wasn’t going to say anything further. He stepped away but only got as far as the end of the sofa bed when Paul stopped him with, “I’m not stupid, Daniel. I know it won’t be me you’re imagining..”
The younger man turned back to face him. Paul gave him a no-nonsense look before he glanced to the bed then back to Daniel again. Stepping towards Daniel with a confident stride, Paul touched his hand to his shoulder and said, “That won’t bother me.”
Pursing his lips, Daniel sized up the other man with a long pass. “We couldn’t..”
Paul glanced again at the bed and slid his hand down Daniel’s arm, feeling the bicep through the thin shirt. His eyes dilated further as he looked directly into Daniel’s eyes. “We could. I’m sure both of us have the experience...”
Daniel raised his eyes upwards as he considered that for a moment. “Then I meant, we shouldn’t..”
“Two grown men, two lonely grown men-” His hand glided gently over Daniel’s crotch.
“One slightly intoxicated major,” Daniel said through a restrained smile.
Paul smiled and shrugged. “One horny archaeologist..”
Daniel had been enjoying the caress of Paul’s thumb over his arm muscle and he slowly lifted his hand up to touch the older man’s face lightly. He kissed Paul quickly but it was tender just the same. Then he pulled back and searched the eyes again. This time Paul closed in for a kiss and a quick swipe of his tongue over the one hovering just inside Daniel’s mouth then he too pulled back and searched Daniel’s eyes. Tit for tat, they kissed for a while, and then Daniel lowered himself and Paul onto the bed where he continued to consume him, this time in lengthy, deep, passionate kisses.
End of part three
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Rights held by Nessesitee –Dec 2002