Part Thirteen ~ Love the one you're with

| Part 13 | Disclaimers |
Spoilers in this part: Nil

It was getting late, Daniel told himself, as he huddled over the glass wrapped in his hands. Maybe he ought to make his way home now. What was the point of staying longer, he’d only attracted a sweaty over-weight Southerner and an effeminate bar tender, neither of whom interested him. It was true that he wasn’t sure who would have interested him at this point, other than…

Daniel rolled his eyes and told himself to get over it. With some effort he dragged himself from the booth and tossed a bill onto his table for Randy. Moving through the crowd, a sure sign that there were more lonely people on Christmas Eve than he could ever had imagined and not all of them same-sex couples, Daniel wondered if he shouldn’t ask for a cab instead. He decided that it was the wiser choice and stepped towards the bar to ask Randy to call him one. He leaned in; accidentally brushing the back of a man huddled over his beer.

“Sorry,” he said as he turned to the man. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“Peachy,” came the reply.

Daniel heard nothing but regret in the voice. He had been right though – he had heard Jack’s voice earlier.

Huddling over his beer again, Jack drawled, “So what’s a nice guy like you doing in a dive like this?” He didn’t even bother to look at Daniel.

A myriad of thoughts raced through Daniel’s mind but the only thing that came out was a gut reaction against Jack’s sarcasm. “Waiting for an original pick up line like that.”

Jack snorted as he lifted his glass to his lips. “Lucky I walked in..” He downed the dregs then called for another one.

“Of all the bars in all the..” Daniel paused, frowned then realized he had no idea what the correct quote from the Casablanca movie was. He took some solace in the fact that not many people did.

Slowly Jack twisted to look at him through heavy-hooded eyes. “Ya look like you lost your best friend, Danny,” he commented, his mouth tight.

“Not tonight,” Daniel replied laconically.

Jack blinked and stared directly at him. “What the hell is this all about?”

“You tell me, you started it-” Daniel called for Randy’s attention with a jut of his chin. “Will you call a cab, please? I’m not in any state to drive.” Randy winked and stepped over to the phone on the back wall. Daniel returned his attention to Jack, who was growling as he rubbed his face with both hands.

“Jesus, it’s always someone else’s fault with you, isn’t it? A breakdown of a friendship goes two ways..” Jack held up two fingers – the polite way!

“You started this by chasing Sam’s ass all around base, Jack. Don’t you put this on me!”

“I didn’t chase Carter’s ass.”

“Sure looked like it from where I was standing,” the younger man sniped back. He was jostled from behind and staggered against Jack. Immediately he stepped away further. Icily he added, “Though I guess I have been rather in the *background* lately, so..” As Randy placed a new beer before Jack, Daniel asked him, “Is that cab on its way?”

“Yes it is, sugar.”

“Going so soon?” Jack sneered, returning his attention to his beer once more.

“Oh, you know, Jack. I’ve got eggnog to drink, a tree to trim, busy busy.” Daniel shouldered the sitting man roughly as he walked away.

Jack bowed his head as he shook it and mumbled to himself, “What’s up your ass these days, Danny!”

Randy, who was pretending to be wiping down the bar nearby, stepped closer to Jack and said, “Sugar, I think it’s more of a case of who’s not anymore..”

“Huh?”

“Your friend, if that’s what he was - though I have to tell you, sunshine, from where *I’m* standing you two don’t seem all that chummy!”

“Just get on with it!” Jack growled.

Randy stared at him, then leaned closer and in a husky voice said, “Um, unless we’re in bed together that tone does nothing for me!”

Jack glowered at him and shifted away slightly.

“Look! A customer!” Randy moved off to serve the young male couple that had just turned up.

When Randy passed by Jack again a little later on in the evening the older man said, in a more patient tone, “You were saying?”

The barman didn’t verbally say ‘that’s better’ but his face said it all. “He broke up with his boyfriend tonight. What a night, eh! The bastard.” Randy quickly clarified, “The boyfriend. Not Daniel. He’s a dish, isn’t he?”

Jack scoffed and shook his head. “You’ve got that wrong. Daniel’s not into men.”

Randy laughed. “Of course not, honey – he’s a bottom if ever I saw it!”

Anger flashed behind Jack’s brown eyes. Through clenched teeth, he said, “Not what I meant!”

After a theatrical sigh, Randy said plainly, “Sugar, he’s in here, isn’t he!?”

Aware that there were mixed couples as well as same-sex ones around him, Jack said, “Yeah, but I wouldn’t put it past him not to know the reputation of this place.”

“But he knows your reputation, obviously!”

Jack grunted. “Huh?”

“If you can’t see that that boy is green with jealousy over this Sam guy, then..” He shrugged and arched a plucked brow. “Then you really don’t deserve him.”

“Sam’s a..” Jack shook his head. What was the point of explaining all to him? He glowered into his beer a moment then raised his face and said, “You’re right about one thing – I don’t deserve him.” When Randy gave a smug huff Jack added, “But you’re also wrong about something.” He pointed to the pretty man across the bar from him. “Danny’s been my friend for.. years…” Jack took a moment on that statement then added, “He’s not gay..”

Although Jack left off the word ‘unfortunately’ Randy was sure he heard it. He could tell, from Jack’s behavior, that the gray haired man felt something for his bespectacled friend. It seemed like it might be something so strong that it was tearing him up inside. If this Jack guy did think Daniel was straight, but yearned for him, then of course he was bitter inside. Leaning a hand on the bar, Randy leaned close to his customer and said, seriously, “You don’t know your friend well, do you?”

“What’s that meant to mean?” Jack growled as he met the green eyes.

“Honey, he made a pass at Eric… but then again, who doesn’t?” Randy hadn’t finished his sentence before Jack had tossed a twenty onto the bar and took off at a trot. Randy raised a brow at the excessive tip and picked up the note, tucking it into his front pocket before he moved off to serve another customer.

Out on the street the snow had fallen heavily, creating a thick slushy carpet under foot. Jack was barely out of the bar when he saw Daniel still on the sidewalk, huddled against the cold. He hitched up the collar of his jacket and moved towards him. Daniel, sans glasses as they always iced up in the bitter cold, looked at him then rolled his eyes. He stepped aside.

“My truck’s around the corner.”

“I’m fine. The cab will be here soon.”

“It’s freezing out here!” Jack argued, looking at the snow falling from above them. He lowered his gaze to Daniel. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

Daniel stared at him a long moment then shook his head and began searching the street for the taxi. “I’m not in the mood to argue with you any more, Jack.”

“Good, so start here. Don’t argue with me, just get in my truck and I’ll take you home.” Again Daniel stared at him. Jack rolled his eyes and said, “Please. I think we need to talk.”

“I just said..”

“Talk, Daniel. Not argue.” Jack gripped his arm and steered him towards the corner but when Daniel looked at the grip he let go of his friend and stepped back slightly, hands raised. Daniel looked into his eyes, saw that Jack really wanted this opportunity, so shrugged and started to walk, unescorted, to the corner.

As they entered the apartment Jack realized that he hadn’t been there in some time. Daniel had made a few alterations. The most notable to him was that the swords he’d given him as a house-warming gift were gone from the wall by the bedroom door.

Daniel tossed his keys into dish on the half-wall near the front door, dug a ten dollar bill from a small bowl of loose change beside it and handed it to Jack.

Jack looked at the money and frowned. “What’s this for?”

“Taxi fare.” Daniel moved into the fridge and got a bottle of chilled water. He downed a large mouthful as he watched Jack toss the note back into the dish. “Take it!” He demanded as he came to the other side of the wall and threw the money against Jack’s chest now. It bounced off and fell to the floor. “I don’t want to owe you for anything..” He turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Jack swooped to pick up the money. “Some friend..” he muttered as he tossed it back into the dish.

Daniel didn’t bother to turn around when he scoffed through a mirthless laugh, “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you!” The slamming of the bathroom door rattled the prints on the wall behind Jack.

With a frustrated groan Jack stepped further into the apartment, looking around at the changes that had been made. Despite the tension between them he marveled at how Daniel’s place was always tidy. If they’d gone back to his place it would have reeked of old socks, empty beer bottles and a bad cigar. Home territory had its advantages, though. At least there he held the upper hand. Here he felt like a guest, an intruder into Daniel’s life. Judging from the sound of the slamming door still ringing in his ears, he was an unwelcomed one at that.

He stopped at the dining table and noticed a wad of photos there. The top one was of a smiling Daniel, somewhere in the mountains but he couldn’t picture where. Jack couldn't recall the last time he'd seen Daniel smile like that. God, he looked good! Jack thought as he bit back a groan.

Curiosity was always one of his downfalls, so he inched the top picture off slightly and saw that the next one had Paul Davis in it. Teal'c's words returned to him. Daniel and Paul were friends. He slid the next picture off the top of the pile and again there was Paul, smiling at the camera, his hazel eyes shining in the bright day. Jack guessed that the picture was a few months old, judging by the weather around them. When he heard the sound of the toilet flushing he quickly straightened up the wad before stepping away to be discovered near the sofas as Daniel came out of the bathroom.

When Jack saw the glare from his ex-best friend he threw his arms wide and announced, “Yes, I’m still here.” Daniel said nothing as he went into the kitchen to make coffee. Jack blew out a deep breath in an attempt to bring his emotions under control. When he felt ready he moved over to the kitchen and said, “For the record? You have this oh-so-wrong.”

Daniel stared at the coffee maker and at the scoop of rich brown grounds in his hand. “No,” he said, tipping the scoopful into the basket, “I have the portions perfect.”

Jack scoffed at the attempted humor. “I’m referring to Carter.”

With a heavy sigh through his nose Daniel switched on the machine then turned and faced Jack. In a controlled voice, he said, “I told you I didn’t want to argue.”

“Good, so shut up and listen then.”

Daniel arched his eyebrows high, crinkling up his forehead into tiny lines. “Oh, that’s a good way to get around me, Jack.” He stepped past him and went out to the fridge to put the coffee away.

Jack turned to watch him. Holding his arms wide he said, “Then tell me how I get around you?”

Daniel stopped mid-step and saw that Jack meant it. Trusting what he saw was sincerity in Jack’s eyes he said, “By making it all go away. By making it all not real…”

“It’s not real,” Jack said quickly.

Daniel rolled his eyes as if to say ‘god, can’t you take this seriously for once?’ before he shouldered past Jack to get back to the coffee machine.

“I mean it, Daniel. I’m not interested in Carter.”

Watching the water drip through into the decanter Daniel said, “Then why have you been acting like it? Why have you been leading her on?”

Jack shrugged. “I’m not leading her on.”

Daniel’s jaw dropped as he stared back at him. A frown filled his eyes as he said, “You really believe that, don’t you?”

Again Jack shrugged, this time with his hands deep in his pockets. “It’s the truth. She knows ‘exactly’ how I feel about her.”

Daniel smiled bitterly as he cast his eyes upwards. Seething with jealousy he quoted, -“I care more for her than I should-”

Now Jack’s face darkened. “How the hell did you hear about that?”

“Gee, sorry, wasn’t I meant to know?” Daniel sniped back.

“Well, you weren’t in the room!” Jack pointed out bluntly. If Daniel knew, how many others on the base had heard the rumor- truthful as it was?

“The walls have ears, Jack. You once told me that!”

The older man groaned as he scratched at the back of his head then rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “Not those walls, they shouldn’t have!” There was an agreement made on that day – one between everyone in that room, not just between him and Carter, so who’d broken their word?

Daniel snorted as he poured out the coffee. Jack snatched a cup off the stand and put it beside Daniel’s, rather loudly. The younger man filled it without comment.

“How the hell did you hear about that?” Jack needed to know for damage control. He had to have a ‘chat’ to someone, obviously!

“Afraid your secret’s out there, Jack?” Daniel moved off, leaving Jack in the kitchen.

With fury bubbling within him, Jack snatched up his cup and went out to the living room. “I want to know how you found out. Everyone in that damn room was sworn to secrecy!”

“Yes, you, Sam and Teal’c had some pact going there between you!” Daniel reached down and put his cup on the coffee table. “Sorry to destroy that,” he sneered as he straightened up again.

“God!” Jack clenched his fists by his temples. “Why won’t you tell me who told you?”

Indignantly, Daniel snapped, “Why didn’t you tell me? I was the only one on the team that didn’t know!”

“Because it didn’t mean anything!” Jack yelled back and their volume increased as they fought.

Jabbing the air with his hand Daniel said, “It almost meant the end of SG-1, Jack, and it definitely meant the end of our friendship, but I guess you’re right… it meant nothing!”

“Christ!” Jack paced the small living room. Someone had to pay for doing this – what was being said around base? He thought this was contained! He regretted that it had obviously caused Daniel pain. “What have you been thinking?” he mumbled more to himself than to the other man.

“What have *I* been thinking?” Daniel squeaked, mistaking Jack’s words. “What have you been thinking, more like!” From the other side of the coffee table Jack glared at him. “For months you’ve been thinking with your dick, Jack!”

That stopped the older man in his steps. His jaw dropped open as he stared at the hate in Daniel’s eyes. “What the..?” Jack was genuinely surprised by the vehement tirade.

“You think with your dick and to hell with the rest of us. If we get in the way, well you just try to blow us up on the first convenient alien ship!”

“Hey!” Jack jabbed his finger towards Daniel now. His face was red with anger. “You left me no damn choice on that matter. You disobeyed an order..”

“I was following your damn order! Find me another way, you said, so I was! You just can’t stand it when people don’t do it the Jack O’Neill way!”

“Damn straight I do! I’m your commanding officer and what I say goes out there!”

Daniel looked unimpressed. “I’m not Sam, Jack, and I’m not impressed by the number of ribbons on your chest! You were my *friend* but all that’s changed now.”

Jack growled with menace, “Only in your head.”

Daniel gritted his teeth together as he stamped his foot and flung a hand towards Jack, “How can you say that?”

Jack yelled, “Because it’s how I feel!”

“Last week you didn’t even remember me!”

Jack yelled louder, his voice becoming strained, “I had my memory erased, for crying out loud, and so did you, and so did Sam and Teal’c..” Jack’s eyes flashed angrily as he hissed, “Not my fault this time, Daniel!”

“But it was your fault that you succumbed so easily. Pecker was talking!” Daniel pointed to the front of Jack’s pants. “You couldn’t even remember me but you recalled Sam? Obviously the few months with her outweighed the years of friendship we had!”

Jack clamped his jaw in an attempt to curtail his anger. His eyes flashed menacingly though as he glared at Daniel. “You can really be a dumb shit sometimes!”

Daniel rolled his eyes and turned on the spot. “Oh, come on!” He flung around to stare at Jack again. “Are you going to deny that you ‘care more for Sam than you’re meant to’?” He didn’t care that his words reeked of jealousy. “Because if you do Jack, then you and I are history, that’s it, finished!”

Jack reddened once more with fury. “Who in hell told you about that!”

Daniel rolled his eyes and massaged his forehead with his thumb and fingers. “Does it matter now?”

“YES, IT MATTERS NOW!”

“PAUL TOLD ME!”

Jack frowned at that confession. For a moment he was taken aback as he searched his mind to match the name. “Paul? Huntingdale?” He referred to a technician for the Gate back on Base that had been close by, but not in the room, on that day.

“Huntingdale? No. Davis!”

“Paul Davis? How the hell did he hear, he was with you!” Jack recalled the day all too vividly.

“He heard!” Daniel flung his hand then gulped back a breath to calm himself. When he spoke again his voice was lowered, but it didn’t lose its harshness. “You’re lucky SG-1 wasn’t pulled apart for that stupid confession!”

“I know exactly how lucky I was, for crying out loud! Hammond hauled my ass over the coals for it! Someone at the Pentagon went over Carter’s and my records to find any evidence of Conduct Unbecoming…”

Daniel sneered, “My heart bleeds.”

“Jesus Christ, Daniel! I’m not in love with Carter! I admire her and respect her.. but she’s not my type!”

“Is that the line you gave Hammond?”

Jack’s fists clenched with frustration. “I told him the truth, and I’m telling you the truth now. I do care more for her than a commanding officer should, sure, but Hammond admitted to the very same guilt for all of SG-1. We’re a damn family, Daniel! Of course I care about her!”

Daniel remained staring at Jack but his glare lost some of its edge as he read the truth in the brown eyes. Without much sting, Daniel said, “So.. was that just a show of brotherly love … when you tried to blow me and Lotan apart?”

Jack exploded. “You gave me NO CHOICE! You know I have to do everything in my power to save the mission…”

Loud banging on Daniel’s front door silenced the spat. Daniel quickly went over to answer it and Jack could hear the angry male voice, “Jesus! Do you know what time it is?”

“I’m sorry,” Daniel placated. “My friend and I are..”

“Fighting, I get it! Just keep it down, okay. You have neighbors!”

“I’m sorry,” Daniel repeated as he closed the door. His face was stony as he returned to the living room. “Great! I’ve never had trouble with my neighbors, thanks!” He gave sarcastic thumbs up to his friend as he reached down with his other hand and scooped up his coffee.

“Maybe I should go,” Jack said, suddenly sounding weary.

Acerbically Daniel sneered, “Yeah, Merry Christmas, Jack.”

Jack reached the front door and put his hand on the knob ready to open it. He paused, let out a loud breath which slumped his shoulders then, without turning around, he said quietly, “You have *no* idea how hard that decision was.” He finally turned and his face was drawn and looked pale compared to earlier. Just as quietly he asked, “Why did you put me in that situation?”

Daniel swallowed hard. He never considered that Jack worried much over that moment. In a similarly low voice, he told Jack, “Because there had to be another answer - other than wiping out an entire race.”

"You almost wiped yourself out."

Daniel held the gaze without flinching. Jack remained staring at him. Slowly he shook his head as he bowed it. He wanted to say ‘God, I love your sensitivity,’ but he thought it might not be the best way to handle his feelings. When he finally raised his face again he looked across the room, right into blue eyes. “Why did Paul tell you?”

Daniel blinked. “We’re good friends..”

“Who knew?” Jack muttered, thinking about the photos as he turned back to the door to leave.

"He was a friend.. when I needed one."

Jack stalled and stared at the door before him, his hand on the door knob. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach at the sound of desolation in Daniel's voice. Unable to bring himself to turn around, Jack indicated that he was listening by a tilt of his head.

Daniel saw the movement and knew Jack well enough to know it was a signal to go on - to open up - to say what needed to be said to repair what had gone wrong between them. It was perfectly typical, Daniel thought, that Jack couldn't do this facing him. So to the back of Jack's head, Daniel confessed, “He’s helped me over some pretty rough times-” and hoped he hadn't done the wrong thing by showing his vulnerability to the man he once called his best friend.

Jack's tanned fingers slid from the brass handle and he turned slowly to look at Daniel again. Holding his head up proudly, Daniel added, “He’s helped me over our estrangement.”

“Estrangement?” Jack said the word quietly, rolling it over his tongue as if to taste it. By the look on his face, it tasted sour to him. He returned his dark eyes to the man on the other side of the room.

Daniel hadn’t shifted position. He still stood there with his hands on his hips and his head at a cant as if trying to comprehend where everything went so wrong between them. The rosebud lips were parted, he breathed through his mouth. His blue eyes blinked rapidly as he spoke. “I haven’t felt much like part of the team lately, Jack.”

That news surprised Jack into straightening up a little. The crease between his brows deepened. “What do you mean?”

Daniel lowered himself onto the sofa heavily and sat forward, elbows on his knees. His voice was low as he said, “Ever since my appendix burst on Px3 887…” When Jack growled Daniel’s words halted momentarily, he frowned but then continued. “and you and the others went to help Thor, before being lost on P4x 234 for that week..” He paused again, but didn’t lift his face. Instead, he darted his tongue over his lips then took a deep breath and confessed, “I’ve felt like I’ve been in the way.”

Jack stared at the dejected man hunched over on the sofa. Christ, he'd done this! By pulling back from Daniel after the appendectomy, he'd given the archaeologist the wrong message. Hell, he didn't realize he'd given off any kind of message, and now he realized that for almost a year, Daniel had been mistaking Jack's need to keep himself, and his hands, to himself as a lack of care regarding their friendship. Jack screwed his eyes shut tightly. Daniel had been right - he'd been thinking with his dick - only Daniel had the object of desire wrong. Christ, what a mess!

Crossing cautiously, waiting for the moment Daniel told him to just go and get the hell out of his life for good, Jack made his way back towards the sofa. He sat on the other sofa and mirrored Daniel’s position. He could see the unshed tears glistening on the lower lashes but made no show of it, keeping in mind that Daniel had consumed enough alcohol to warrant a taxi ride home from the bar.

Daniel’s nose was pink and his lips moist from nervous licking, but he continued on in a steady voice, “I worked so hard to get you back when you were lost..”

“I know you did, Daniel,” Jack said gently.

“Did you?” The younger man scoffed slightly as he rubbed the back of his hand briskly under his nose as he got to his feet. “Because you never once said.. thanks.” He looked at Jack and saw that the older man still had no words of thanks, so he shrugged and rubbed a hand through his short hair as he stepped away. What Daniel didn't know was that Jack didn't know how to say thanks- without jeopardizing his true feelings for Daniel.

Daniel had moved across to the piano and touched his fingertips to the dust on the top of it. “But when you came back – you weren’t the same people.”

Jack tilted his head slightly. “How?”

Daniel shrugged. “Like the three of you had secrets that you weren’t about to share with the rest of us.”

“Us?” Jack asked, getting to his feet as well. “Or just.. you?”

“All.” He said before pursing his lips and giving Jack a second glance. “Me, mostly.”

“Aw, Danny, no we didn’t…”

Daniel blinked then shook his head as he turned his face away slightly. He moved over to the balcony doors and pressed his palm to the chilled glass. Outside, snow lay thick on the balcony. “I couldn’t understand it at first, then I realized that something was happening, brewing, between you and Sam..”

Christ, he had this so wrong! Jack rubbed his face and groaned. “Danny..”

But ‘Danny’ wasn’t listening. Instead he continued on with, “Paul noticed it too, and he’s been with me during some pretty hairy times…”

Jack’s response was so quiet it couldn’t even be classed as a whisper. “You have no idea…”

Daniel hadn’t stopped speaking though. “…So the more estranged we got, the closer Paul and I seemed to get.”

Jack flinched with jealousy. Paul was the friend Jack had been too scared to be after he returned from two-three-four. That time spent lost had confirmed Jack's discovery weeks earlier when Daniel collapsed on a mission, his appendix ready to burst. When he was lost all he wanted to do was get back to Earth, tell Daniel the truth and see what might happen. But when he stepped through into that Gate room and saw the expectant face waiting at the end of the ramp for him something within him snapped, and realization that there was no way, no how he was going to be able to confess his true feelings for Daniel made his heart harden.

Disappointment after disappointment, moments when he wanted to tell Daniel but knew he couldn't reveal his secret to his (he assumed) hetero friend, hardened him further, made him scared, made him want to run like he'd never wanted to run before in his life! Jack would have given anything for Daniel to have made the first move. Military through and through, Colonel O'Neill just did not know how to work it any other way.

Now he was bearing witness to how his fears of discovery had driven a wedge between them - and he never realized he was to blame. He cursed himself under his breath as he slumped back in the chair opposite Daniel.

“Paul wouldn’t let me believe it was my fault. He verified my doubts, noticed the differences between you and Sam too…” Daniel swallowed. “Especially after the Za’tac incident.”

Quietly Jack cut in. “I didn’t tell you, not because I didn’t want to share it with you-” He sighed, pressed the tips of his fingers against each other and stared at his hands. “Look, I didn’t know how to handle that confession. It was wrong-”

Daniel tilted his head in affirmation. “Well, after a while it didn’t matter to me either. I had… other interests that .. oddly enough.. didn’t involve the team..”

“Paul Davis,” Jack said quietly and pressed his lips together on the last sound. Jack stared at him for such a long time that Daniel was sure he’d guessed the true nature of his and Paul’s relationship. He didn’t care though. There could be no repercussions now that they’d broken up. He shrugged.

“Paul and I became.. good friends..”

Jack decided to press the point. “I hear he came into town tonight on some special delivery to the base..”

With a shrug Daniel sat back in his seat and sighed.

"Did you see him?" Jack asked casually.

Daniel held the gaze then said, "Briefly. He was heading straight back to Washington to spend Christmas with his partner.."

Jack grimaced. If Paul had a partner, then it wasn't him in the bar tonight. Dammit! Jack thought he had it worked out.

It was there that their conversation grounded to a halt.

The tired men sat in silence for a short while, occasionally exchanging meaningful glances, looks that would once have opened a flood gate of conversation between the two friends but which now filled an empty void.

When the silence grew too uncomfortable to bear Jack realized he’d outstayed his welcome and said, “I should go..”

Daniel rose too. “Look, it’s snowing outside.”

Jack’s head jerked and he looked directly at his friend. Daniel felt like he needed more encouragement to stay. “It’s late, the roads will be icy. Why don’t you just … stay the night,” he said, hesitant about opening up and letting Jack back in to hurt him but feeling unready to let him leave – not when they were talking about things.

Jack tilted his head slightly, considered the awkward offer a moment then bowed his head in thanks. “I’d appreciate that, Daniel.”

“No one wants to wake up alone on Christmas morning,” the younger man said, matter-of-factly, as he moved to the library to set up the bed.

Unbeknownst to either man, the same thought ran through their heads – they wanted to wake together, in love and in the same bed, but this was going to have to do instead.

In the library, Daniel passed over Jack’s preferred pillow and a clean slip. Knowing the routine, despite his absence in the past few months, Jack covered the pillow while Daniel opened out the bed and put the fitted sheet on. Jack tugged a few blankets from the storage cabinet and tossed them onto the clean sheet. Daniel ducked his head as he started to leave the room, saying, “I’ll just get you something to sleep in.” He’d done that a dozen or more times before with Jack, only this time his heart was hammering harder than ever. He wanted to tell Jack how he felt, but he couldn’t.

He soon returned, paused long enough to catch Jack starting to unfasten his shirt then he wet his lips and said, “Night Jack.”

“Night,” Jack said, and just before the door closed he added, “And thanks..” The door closed without a response but he was sure Daniel heard him. Drawing back the blankets he climbed into the makeshift bed and tucked his arms under his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

End of part Thirteen

Send Feedback for Part thirteen

Rights held by Nessessitee –Mar 2003

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws