Fortune Cookie: Next time read the fortune befo... [bitten off]
Britney Spears is still a virgin. Turns out she was just washing her hair. --Daniel
Hold it in, do a little dance, thats the way to keep dry pants! --Andy, What's with Andy
The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing! --Spongebob Squarepants
Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets --SpongeBob Squarepants
"Let me show you guys how much I...HATE YOU!!!" --Squidward
"Patrick, did you ever get the feeling that Squidward likes us too much?" --Spongebob
"I need to think before I spoke... I mean, speak." --Mandarin
"Hey, I just realized something... my lock has numbers on it!" --Mandarin
"I don't need to be stupid, I just am." --Mandarin
Mandarin: "Ever wonder why wood has knots in it?"
Me: "Not really"
Mandarin: "Me neither"
Just think of that poor cow. A few days ago, it was grazing in a wide, beautiful green field, carefree and happy, unknowing of its horrible fate. Then it was brutally slaughtered into bite size pieces, then packaged and sent to grocery stores everywhere, where the consumer buys it, unknowing of the wonderful life that cow once had. Damn I love hamburger. --Iziz (Me!)
Kelley, I think I accidentally donated your brain to charity... -Iziz (me!)
"'I'm Special': A phrase commonly used by loners and freaks to cover up their loserness" --Iziz
You're talking faster than my brain processes language
Get a job! --Iziz
"Let's go!" --The evil singing car at Reynold's Museum
Don't let YOUR kids grow up to be science teachers --Iziz
I'm so lucky you donated my brain to charity and it got eaten by Nigerian kids! --Kit
Wouldn't it suck if your brain had some kind of defect and it mutated into bagpipes? --Iziz
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A BEST friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
If I had a penny for every time someone said that today, I'd almost have enough money to buy a five cent candy. --Iziz
Tom, we're having shake and bake tonight! --You know what? Don't ask.
Look, I found TWO clues! --Steve from Blue's Clues, in a certain... ahem, scenerio.
Everybody has a birthday, so don't act like you're special.