"Give me a break--you could get a ham sandwich indicted!"
"Toni-with-an-'i' Cutis is Bernice Schwartz."
"You want to be an FBI agent when you grow up?"
Briscoe: "What was the FBI doing in 1971?"
Logan: "I don't know. Buying feather boas for J. Edgar Hoover?" QML
"Margaret Pauley and that scum sucker? That beats Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie for the odd couple award."
(to Lennie): "What were you doing then -- touring with Strawberry Alarm Clock?"
(Scene: Logan and Briscoe are interviewing Tony "G-Dog" Rowland, brother to Zack Rowland, who is accused of holding up Lt. Van Buren)
Logan" "Sshh, ya hear that sound? That's the sound of your parole being revoked!"
Tony: "Says who?"
Logan" "Says da man. Says gun possession."
Eileen: "You don't know how cruel people can be."
Logan: "Believe me, I'm getting an education."
"Some guy loses his life savings to Tappan. Then Kopinsky comes along and licks the plate. I'd want to kill him too."
Lennie: "I saved up some money for my retirement. I keep it split between threen banks and two mutual funds. If you don't trust one that much, nobody can hurt you."
Mike: "What's that, financial advice or marriage counseling?"
"They killed your ex. They know you know. Do you really think they're just going to send you a sympathy card and forget about it?"
Mike: "So would you bust your butt to buy your kid a beamer?"
Lennie: "Nothing wrong with wanting the best for your daughter."
Mike: "Right. I like those pair of Converses you bought Julia."
Lennie: "Well, they're the best, right?"
Mike: "Well, all I know is no German cars for my kid."
Lennie: "What, roller blades?"
Mike: "We're talking 'vette, baby."
(listening to a tape): "Sounds like my family."
"The guy's got more money than God but he lives worse than I do."
Kerr: "Our readers are interested in exploring another side of their sexual selves."
Mike: "Yeah, the side marked 'this end up.'"
Mike: "What, are you looking for a date?"
Lennie: "'Open-minded MBBF seeks mature man.'"
Mike: "What's that, male bisexual bondage freak?"
"Where were their *parents*?" QML
Tattoo artist: "I did a real good job with that one. It'll last her the rest of her life."
Logan: "It already did." QML
"What was the old tape? Gang Bang Granny?" QML
Logan: "Oh brother -- and I thought I had it bad growing up with two alcoholics."
Briscoe: "I wonder which mommy's going to teach him to smoke and drink."
Logan: "And shave."
Briscoe: "Well, it's the 90's. Everybody can be gross and disgusting, not just you."
Logan: "Well, I had one mommy and she did enough ball-breaking for a lifetime."
"What'd you do, threaten the Prescott kid with your finger?"
"The way those people keep secrets, they oughtta give lessons to the CIA. What'd the kid do, stage a circle jerk in the locker room?"
"Grow up on the Upper East Side, you get a Tiffany spoon in your mouth. Grow up in Inwood, you get that."
"Let's you and me have a conversation."
"And everything was partitioning smoothly?"
Tiller: "May I see your identification please?"
Logan: "You want to check my teeth now?"
(Logan to Gastin after Gastin said he took Chappel's promises to finish the project at face value): "You'd be very popular at our weekly poker games." QML
"Do you want us to bring him over so you can play Twenty Questions with him?"
"You told the whole world your wife was sharpening someone else's pencil."
Palley: "I couldn't sleep--I went for a walk."
Logan: "Well, that either makes you the luckiest son-of-a-bitch that ever lived or you've been lying to us all along." QML
(after being shocked): "That's all? I'd rather get my teeth drilled."
Anita: "If you thought your kid was being abused what would you do?"
Logan: "This is America--I'd sue the bastard." QML
"What did you do with the money? Take some boy scouts on a field trip?"
"When I was 12, Billy tried to recruit me for a matinee with Father Joe."
[Scene: Logan and Cragen are discussing the suicide of Det. Marino, and the fact that Marino tried to "recruit" Mike for a session with a pedophile priest when Mike was 12.]
Mike: "The other week when he called me, I had a feeling what is was about. I did the same thing I've been doing for 25 years, I avoided the subject. I couldn't handle it."
Cragen: "My take, neither could he. Seeing Krolinsky brought it all back. Imagine the guilt about all the kids he fed that pervert."
Mike: "The only problem is he shot the wrong guy." QML
Defense attorney: "Did he make a proposition to you involving Mr. Krolinsky?"
Mike: I don't understand the question."
Defense attorney (with nasty sarcasm): "Do you want me to speak more slowly, Detective?"
Mike (just as nastily): "Do you want me to answer that?" QML
"We called you Father. How could you do that to us?"
Logan: "I'd like to know which personality's into this."
Building super: "That would be Nancy. She's a personal favorite of mine."
Logan: "I'll bet." QML
Waitress: "Can I help you?"
Logan (as they move to arrest Megan): "We're getting something to go." QML
"I don't know many family reunions that need a police detail at the front door."
[Scene: Briscoe has just arranged for a "date" with a young male prostitute, in order to get information from him about the case.]
Briscoe: "Whaddya think, should I stick with this tie?"
Logan: "Well, that's my personal favorite." QML
"You gotta love these guys. They pretend to be friends so they can pretend to be enemies."
Lennie: "My respect for Durban is growing by the hour."
Mike: "Yeah, he's so smart, he's dead." QML
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