Season One
Season One

Prescription for Death

"Proceed, Sherlock."

Subterranean Homeboy Blues

"Next time I'll be a good little German."
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"Warrant this, lady!"

"'Trust' and 'lawyer'--there's a pair of words that don't match!"

The Reaper's Helper

(to LA cop on phone): "Oh, an open homicide investigation? What do you think we're doing? Getting cats out of trees?" QML
QML

Greevey: "Do you think a lot of cops are gay?"
Logan: "No way, man. The Department's got a special test. They look you in the eye, and if your left eye blinks before your right eye, they know you're gay." [winks with left eye] QML

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die

Greevey: "How many times would you go out with her before you went to bed with her?"
Logan: "Once."

"I�m hot-wired. I'm gonna live forever."

"Lets go pay a visit to Warren Beatty."

Happily Ever After

"They don't issue telepathy with badges."

"Willie Tivnan has a rap sheet as long as Encyclopedia Britannica."

Everybody's Favorite Bagman

"Max, that really frosts my cookies." QML

[Scene: Maggie gets out of police cruiser. Logan + Greevey pull up, Logan slips the siren on her. Logan and Maggie meet each other on the sidewalk; Maggie has gotten Logan a meeting with a furrier.]
Maggie: "So, is this good for a dinner?"
Logan (smirks, puts hands in pocket): "Well that depends on what dinner's good for."
Maggie: "Ohhhhhh. Well, let's put it this way: you don't have a chance in hell without it."
Logan: "Very cold, Maggie."QML

By Hooker, By Crook

"I'm never gonna pay for it."

"He must be an all star. He's hitting the ball so hard, he's making it bleed."

"I think whoever's paying his bill ought to adopt me."

"Roach coach is open."

Poison Ivy

Indifference

(speaking of his mother and women like her): "You give her sympathy, she's going to want a fight; you give her a fight, and she's going to want a kiss; you give her a kiss, and I swear to God she'll bite your tongue out." QML

"Everything's a mirror to her. She holds a dying child up to it and all she sees is how it affects her." QML

Prisoner of Love

"So let me get this straight -- you almost go home with this guy who photographs people in sadistic poses with chains -- and you're *tempted* -- but there's something about him you don't trust??" QML

Out of the Half-Light

Greevey: "You still dragging things home?"
Logan [gesturing hands as if breasts]: "Hey, this one's REALLY smart." QML

Life Choice

"On my salary, I couldn't even afford the insurance."

"What, I don't look like I have a green thumb?"

A Death in the Family

Greevey: "Turn the other cheek. You believe in that?"
Logan: "Yeah, twice a year. Christmas and Easter."

"What, are you taking a poll?"

"You're still tap-dancing."

The Violence of Summer

"Paul, we're thinking of requisitioning a flak jacket for your birthday."

"The post-Kitty Genovese era. No one wants to look--they think they'll get involved."

"I was thinking of puking just to improve the smell."

[Scene: Logan sifting through area under stairwell and picking out items with salad tongs]
Greevey: "Remind me never to eat at your house."
Logan: "They're perfectly good tongs. You think I'm going to throw them away?" QML

The Torrents of Greed (1)

Logan: "So it's about 3 am... I wake up to the sound of barking."
Greevey: "This one has a dog?"
Logan: "I wish. I ask her 'What's going on?'. She says 'Cockroaches'."
Greevey: "Cockroaches that bark?"
Logan: "That's what I said! She said the exterminator was a bust so she got a gecko. It's a lizard, some kind of Gila monster from Brazil or something, I dunno."
Greevey: "And it eats roaches?"
Logan: "Down to the last drop. Barks when it's hungry." QML

Pilefsky: "You're bluffing!"
Logan: "Yeah, we'd be real upset if something happened to a piece of crap like you." QML

"Hell of a way to say 'Welcome to America'."

"I forgot--the mafia doesn't exist."

"Last I heard, annoyance isn't a valid defense."

The Torrents of Greed (2)

"Getting convictions on Zalta and Pilefsky is like going to the senior prom and scoring bare wrist."

"You're right, Max. This guy is as stupid as he looks."

[Scene: police digging up NJ mob cemetery]
Stone: "What have we got?"
Logan: "Masucci's greatest hits." QML

Logan to Stone, after straightening up Beigel�s fedora and putting it on the body: "Your witness, counselor." QML

[Scene: Greevey and Logan go into club to look for Masucci.]
Owner: "He's not here."
Logan: "Pardon me if we think you're full of it." QML

[Scene: after sister hits Masucci]
"I *like* that woman!" QML

Mushrooms

"That little freak makes more in 40 minutes than I make all year." QML

"Stupid and tough is a bad combination."

The Secret Sharers

"What, no homicides?"

"Like a roach motel--cockroaches check in, but they don't come out."

"I'm just a cockeyed optimist."

Logan: "What about the priest, Torres?"
Woman: "You know him?"
Logan: "We pray at his church sometimes."

"It's just like the Gospels -- four guys telling the same story and they're all different."QML

Greevey: "I don't want to see this guy without backup."
Logan: "I don't want to see him without nuclear weapons!"QML

The Serpent's Tooth

Stone: "If there something personal here?"
Logan: "Yeah. I personally don't like seeing two innocent kids get 20 to life."

"What's Russian for 'You're under arrest'?"

"If you'd given me a shotgun while my mom was slamming me against a wall, I would've blown her head off -- but my father? Not even if he caught me killing the old lady." QML

The Troubles

"Looks like your 'entrepreneur' just went into Chapter 11."

"How could anyone eat something that could even get to smell like this?"

Greevey [to Spanish-speaking perp]: "Yo sabe que muerto Mustafa?"
Perp, laughing: "*Tu* sabes que *tu* muertes Mustafa?"
Greevey: "No, *YO* sabe o yo muerto!"
Logan [to Greevey]: "I think 'yo' means 'I'. You're saying 'I killed Mustafa.'"QML

Logan [looking at Arabic fax]: "Looks like a break-dancing chicken wrote this!" QML

Sonata for a Solo Organ

[Scene: Logan and Greevey have just found out the guy's kidney has been stolen]
Logan: "Talk about having your pocket picked." QML
"Do you remember anything about the...mugging?" QML

The Blue Wall

"You guys couldn't convict a ten-year-old of selling watered-down lemonade."

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