Forensics technician: "You've got a very well-mannered killer. She let him put his clothes on first."
Logan: "I'm sure he was grateful."
"Most people, you fight, *then* you have sex." QML
O'Hara: "OK, a lotta guys will pay big bucks to see a girl from the swimsuit issue without her swimsuit."
Logan: "So he could slip into something more comfortable?" QML
Logan [to Paul]: "Whaddaya want, a videotape of her boffing the guy and then sticking the scissors in his back?" QML
[Scene: Mike & Phil are going over lists of prostitute-models.]
Phil: "This one goes for $750-1000."
Mike: "She presses your pants when she's done." QML
"Next time, I'm going to buy stock in Kodak."
"This guy wasn't exactly poster boy for B'nai B'rith."
"This guy gets his ya-yas out with a gun."
"Judge Fadden, dial-a-warrant."
"I know that 3 plus 3 equals murder 2."
"She's been raped?...Why do *I* feel like I need shower?" QML
"A birth canal's not the only thing they shared."
"The neighborhood watch must've skipped this block."
"Makes me feel all warm inside, knowing a bunch of well-armed yahoos are keeping our streets safe."
"He picks up his guns and moves to a target-rich environment. Doesn't sound like a guy looking for peace and quiet."
"They don't have one of those in my sandbox."
"My flag hasn't been raised in weeks."
Lawyer: "Come on, it's a dinky federal charge."
Logan: "And we can get him a dinky federal cell." QML
"We'll nail him for the Kennedy assassination."
"So which guy is our new best friend?"
"I wouldn't know him if he sat in my lap."
Logan: "You got some names?"
Briscoe: "Yeah, a few."
Logan: "You going to send them Christmas cards?"
"I'm partial to singing telegrams."
"Make sure that life insurance is all paid up."
"He'll sell us a watch before he gives us the time of day."
"Do you think that Transmission Travel gives frequent swallower miles?"
"So, what, if you want to work in the wing nut division, dial 1-800-YORUBA?"
"We came for the cream and sugar."
"You ought to get 25 years just for making me pronounce it."
"The United Nations? All those clowns know how to do is double park."
"I missed your act at the improv."
"Do I take the quiz after class?"
"Do I look like a magician? I'll just pull his name out of my ear."
"Next time you want to get rid of dealers, call the fire department."
"If that gun has prints, I'll call Sister Marie, make a contribution."
Logan: "Maybe they just ought to legalize it."
Briscoe: "Oh yeah, another half a million crackheads."
Logan: "You don't know that. Would you take it? Would I? Listen, a junkie's gonna be a junkie whether it's legal or not."
Briscoe: "So we should sell it in the drug stores?"
Logan: "Damn straight. No one puts a knife in your gut to feed their habit."
Briscoe: "Any junkies in your family?"
Logan: "Booze. And if you made it illegal, they'd cook it up on the stove."
"Nice to know my taxes aren't being wasted on school books."
"Do I have 'sucker' written all over my forehead?"
"Smells like someone forgot to sign it out last week."
"You see yourself throwing touchdowns, you won't be too happy warming the bench."
"We passed this virus through our secret decoder ring."
Suspect: "If I was going to kill a guy, you think I'd do it for a Bonneville?"
Logan: "I think you'd do it for a shoelace."
Briscoe: "What's Rumanian for you're under arrest?"
Iliescu: "This is a mistake."
Logan: "Gee, sounds just like English." QML
"Next time I want advice, I'll write Dear Abby."
"You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. And if you move funny, I'll blow your head off!" QML