Page 26
Friendship, courtship & marriage

Having friends, along with a life partner, is one of the chief blessings God has given mankind after knowing Himself.  The desire to share with other humans is integral to who we are, and God Himself said "It is not good for man to be alone".

Friendships can be classified into four levels:
(1) Acquaintance - based on occasional contacts;
(2) Casual friendship - based on common interests, activities, & concerns [oneness of soul];
(3) Close friendship - based on mutual life goals [oneness of spirit];
(4) Intimate friendship - based on commitment to the development of each other's character.

When seeking a marriage partner, do not fall into the trap of dating.  Instead we should choose the concept of courtship.

Dating is "singling out one person of the opposite gender and cultivating interest through thoughts, looks, notes, talks, or events".  Dating is an exercise in divorce because it is not based on commitment but rather the fulfilling of sensual desires.

Note: Sexual expression is to be only within marriage.  Flee sexual immorality, flirting & seductive behaviour.


Page 27

Courtship may be defined as "two fathers agreeing to work together with a qualified young man to win the daughter for marriage". If a young man is serious about a girl, let him ask her father for permission to grow the relationship!  Engagement is "a daughter's agreeing to accept the proposed love and protection of a young man in marriage". 

A Christian marriage is to be a model of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church: "As the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it." (Ephesians 5:24,25).

The following 8 qualities must be present for a successful Christian marriage:

1.  Must be genuinely "born again"
2.  Must accept himself / herself
3.  Must be a man / woman under authority
4.  Must have a clear conscience
5.  Must know how to yield rights
6.  Must have moral freedom (else he / she is only using you to love himself / herself)
7.  Must know God's purpose for his / her life
8.  Must have financial freedom.

Finally, when it comes to having children, God wants us to be fruitful and multiply!  Every child is a blessing from the Lord.