| Humie's Laughables!!! |
| Blondes continued - page 2! |
| Continuing...She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The captain and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman. He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA." A blonde is overwieght, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eats regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from all that skipping!" I knew a blonde who was so dumb, that she... ~ called me to get my phone number ~ spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice carton because it said concentrate ~ put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind ~ got stabbed in a shoot-out ~ tried to put the M&M's in alphabetical order ~ sat on the TV and watched the couch ~ sent me a fax with a stamp on it ~ tried to drown a fish ~ thought a quarterback was a refund ~ got locked in a grocery store and starved to death ~ if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back ~ the only way to get her out of 3rd grade was to burn the school down ~ under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics" ~ tripped over the wire from a cordless phone ~ took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept ~ at the bottom of her job application, where it says "sign here", she put "Sagittarius" ~ asked for a price check at the dollar store ~ it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes ~ if she spoke her mind, she would be speechless ~ studied for a blood test ~ thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center ~ thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats ~ sold the car for gas money ~ when she saw the PG-13 sign (under 13 not admitted), she went home and got 12 friends ~ when she head that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved ~ when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice ~ when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and went home A blonde goies into the library and cheerfully says, "Hi, I'm here to see the doctor!" In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is the library." So, the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then wispers, "I'm here to see the doctor." A blonde pilot decided that she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter. She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter. The Instructor figured he could let her go up alone and instruct he via radio. So, the blonde went up. She reached 1,000 feet and 2,000 feet and everything was going fine. At 3,000 feet, the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods. The Instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the end of the woods, the blonde was walking out. "What happened?" the Instructor asked. "All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?" "Well," began the blond, "I got cold, so I turned off the big fan." A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!" "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price." "Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother, it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket." "Aiirplane ticket...What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fiz it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska!" What happened when the blonde ran out of room on the transparancy? She turned it over and used the other side. Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 |