Last Among Equals -- Hilath's Home Page

by Mohamed
(Nov 2002)

(A slightly exaggerated story based on real state of affairs)

In the not so distant past, my friend, who I will call Amber since she is a foreigner, would have been known as a pen-friend. But we Maldivians have come a long way since then. Thanks more or less to the PC and the Internet we have almost overnight been transformed. We've adapted to the marvels of modern technology at breakneck speed and communication, as we knew it was forever changed.

In the days before the introduction of the wonders of voiceless, fingertip communication our correspondence was at the most 12 letters back and forth throughout the year. After the letter was dropped off at the mailbox there really was nothing to do but wait and pray that it would reach its destination in the fastest time or at least get there eventually. More often than not letters got lost and if you were in a mood to try your patience then you could try tracking it through the post office which of course would lead to more days spent in a futile search.

Fast forward to today and an SMS to my mobile phone is all the notification I need that Amber was online and waiting to chat with me on MSN or Yahoo! Messenger. Isn't progress a wonder? I wonder now how it was that I had managed to survive not being able to 'reach out and touch someone' in cyberspace whenever I felt like. Truly, progress should be embraced at all possible speed. At least, in my humble opinion.

Then again, as some theorists claim, there is an exception to every rule. Recently I had the misfortune of being introduced to the exception, though in this particular case it isn't really a rule but an exception to the general trend. I unwittingly and rather embarrassingly (in the light of hindsight) stepped into one of the few places in Male' that has refused to join the Maldivian journey into the future. Indeed, it seems that the only way to make sure the place made a transition from the present to the future would be by brute-force. Kicking and screaming at that!

As most things usually begin, this little embarrassing anecdote started with a totally unspectacular and seemingly insignificant event. It started as a small message at the bottom left corner of my computer desktop announcing that I had just received an email from Amber. I clicked on the MSN Messenger popup and a few seconds later was reading through the mail. The essence of the message when you get right down to it was that Amber was planning on visiting Maldives for her holidays which started in a few days and that she was looking forward to meeting me face to face finally. This was something I had been looking forward to for a long time so I agreed.

Cut to scene of pages from a single-day wall calendar flipping by very fast, blowing away in the wind and then the big day arrived. A ring to my mobile-sorry, Dhimobile- (maybe I should have said a vibe since my phone is set to silent mode) and a confirmation of our rendezvous and we were set. After getting over the novelty of finally meeting in person for the first time and some trivial chit-chat she told me she was hoping I would show her around Male'. I told her it would be my pleasure and took her on a tour of the Capital on my cycle.

Almost all of forty minutes later, and having exhausted all the main tourist attraction sites of Male', I decided there were some places that were less popular that could interest her. She was a movie-buff and loved to read so I showed her around the <ahem!> many movie theatres and some of the bookshops. We were a little too excited to sit through a movie at Athena cinema, plus there was nothing good and I had a personal dislike for the quality of the video and audio setup at Athena. She was very interested in the bookshops though, and spent a lot of time browsing through their inventory and eventually ended up buying some books. We chatted endlessly throughout, exchanging news and comparing conditions, politics and general stuff about our respective countries. Mostly due to our combined interests in books eventually our conversation turned from books to bookshops to libraries.

"Of course we have libraries," I told her when she asked if we had any. "Almost every school has one."

"Really? Is it possible for me to check it out?"

I could tell that she wanted very much to see the libraries. But I had no idea if it was allowed or not. I might have to pull a few strings, get permission and cut through some red tape to get it done but I didn't feel like going through all that hassle. So I thought of the next best thing. Not even the next best thing; come to think of it, the very best thing!

"I can do even better," I said and off we went.

A few minutes and numerous traffic lights later we arrived at our destination. Amber looked up at the three-storey building with its light purple paint and numerous windows. A look, which had, when it had first been opened, prompted a lot of local wise-guys to dub it "The Purple House".

A bright blue signboard, a little to the left of the metal gate proudly announced 'NATIONAL LIBRARY' in bold, white letters. A second signboard below it notified that the building also housed 'The British Council' under its roof. I vaguely remember there being a sign with reference to a National Archives or something like that somewhere on the building but I couldn't find it. Must have moved it to a more er… convenient location, no doubt.

"Wow!" said Amber, looking around. "It's beautiful!"

"Uh huh," I responded noticing that her eyes were lingering on the patches of pale blue peeking through the peeling light purple paint. In an attempt to answer her unasked question I continued, "Probably getting ready to repaint the building again. Our Republic Day is coming up and almost all Government buildings get a makeover for occasions like that." The lie tasted bitter but I consoled myself that it was probably true. At least I hoped it was. I wondered if the building had ever had a paintjob after the initial one. I couldn't remember.

"Really?" she said smiling innocently and gestured for me to lead the way. I nearly made some crack about 'ladies first' but thought better of it, remembering in the nick of time that in addition to being attractive she was also a feminist. Albeit a rather tame one compared to a few local feminist friends of mine.

Together, we entered the National Library of the Republic of Maldives.

I should tell you right now that the last time I had set foot in the National Library was when it had been temporarily relocated to the old EPSS building. The Library has had its share of relocating but ultimately it has returned to its familiar and original location. Even if it was after a lengthy absence.

During its absence as a public service, it was sorely missed by the general public and school children. The Library finally opened its doors without much fanfare and after several delays, almost after a year of inactivity. God bless the capable individuals who were responsible!

"Okay, here we are," I said climbing the stairs to the first floor. We had passed by the counter where a queue of people was waiting for their turn. To borrow, return or donate books, although judging by some of the almost raised voices I had to draw the conclusion they were settling some financial matters. "Now remember to keep your voice down. This is a library, you know."

"No kidding!" said Amber craning her neck to look up at a TV that was on a wall bracket in the reception area. I heard suppressed laughter coming from somewhere. As we arrived at the first floor we passed a young couple that were whispering quietly and giggling. Ah! Love. You never know where its flowers might bloom! Actually, it appeared that there were couples all over the place; sitting at the tables, near the balcony, talking in hushed voices near open windows.

"Hmm. My dear Watson, it appears we have blundered into a love nest." I could hear the mirth in Amber's voice. "Are you sure this is a library? You're not getting ideas are you, hmm hmm?" She fluttered her eyelashes at me as she said this.

"Very funny!" I said, not at all amused. She knows I have a serious girlfriend so I always get a little uneasy when she starts flirting. I am not the most secure of people, I know, so I am at a disadvantage when the person I had been shamelessly flirting with on a chat window for so long was no longer represented by a witty moniker and a smiley! This was not going the way I had hoped. "Libraries are very romantic places and I see nothing wrong with a little flower blooming as long as they keep it quite and do nothing untoward."

"Untoward?" Still the amused half-smile played on her lips. She may be a feminist but she was first and foremost a big flirt.

"You know. Inappropriate stuff. Like hugging… or… or kissing! As long as they remember where they are and respect its rules and keep quiet then it's acceptable."

I think Amber must have heard the defensive tone in my voice because she immediately raised her arms, palms outward. "Hey, I was just kidding. No need to get all huffed up. I was just making an observation. Of course there's nothing wrong in it. I myself have had many a clandestine meeting in our college library."

As we were talking a woman in purda approached the couple standing near the window. A few swift words later a very subdued couple walked down the stairs.

"Well, at least to me it's acceptable," I said somewhat deflated.

"Anyway to get back to our tour, judging by the sign there, we appear to be in the Children's Section."

"Then let's make like children and explore," said Amber moving towards the first shelf.

We walked past some brightly coloured little desks and chairs and Amber mouthed, "Oh! It's sho shweet!" I smiled my acknowledgement and reached the first shelf. A sign on top of it said KINDER COLLECTION. I felt a little nostalgic when I saw some of the books in the section. I had borrowed those from the library when I was a little kid. I was even more surprised when I realised that the books were exactly the same books I had borrowed when I was a kid! They looked like they might come apart if someone breathed on them too hard.

"Hey!" said Amber, her eyes sparkling. "Look at this one. Pinocchio. I used to love this when I was a kid. Even now, actually." She took it out and opened a page. Tried to, anyway. She quickly closed it as the pages slid out of the book as if greased and made a mess on the floor. I helped her pick it up and put them back in the book in order.

"How come all the books look so battered and tattered," she complained. "And there are so few of them. Is this the whole Children's Section?" She looked around. Apparently this was it. Around six shelves.

"These are probably the old ones that everyone has read and re-read. The new ones most likely are borrowed so often that they never stay on the shelves too long." I really don't know why I was making excuses. It's not like it was my library.

"Uh huh?" she said. "How about recent ones? Do you think they might have a copy of Harry Potter. The latest one? Or maybe Artemis Fowl."

"Don't know. Let's see."

We hunted around a few minutes and turned up zilch. If Harry was here then he was either in his robe that made him invisible or lent out. The latter sounded more likely so we decided to ask one of the librarians. We avoided the roving purda-clad librarian in case she decided to have a few swift words with us and went to one who was reading at the table. To our chagrin she wasn't sure so she had to go and ask the purda-clad librarian we had been trying to avoid. After a few words with her and some exchanging of looks, our librarian came back to us and told us that at the moment it must probably have been lent out. We thanked her and turned back to browsing.

"Yeah right!" said Amber, the moment the librarian was out of earshot.

"What do you mean?" I asked, getting a little annoyed with her 'your library sucks!' attitude.

"She obviously has no idea what the hell Artemis Fowl is! Did you see the look on her face when I asked? And as for Harry Potter, if she had to ask someone else if one of the most famous books in the world is available at the library she is working in, then either she is dumber than she looks or the book is not here. But she probably was too embarrassed to tell us, so she had to ask her superior what the correct response was."

"But she told you it was lent out!" I said.

"And that's why I said, yeah right!"

"You could be wrong you know. In fact you are most likely wrong!"

"I don't think so."

"Excuse me!" We both stopped and turned to see who had spoken. Of course it had to be the librarian we were trying to avoid. Of all the rotten luck!

"This is a library," she said quietly. "If you want to start a debate could you please take it outside?" Her voice could have frozen us both on the spot.

"Sorry," said Amber matter-of-factly. "Won't happen again."

The purda-clad librarian glared at us for a few seconds more and then walked away. She glance back once towards Amber who gave her sweet smile.

"See what you got us into!" I said trying to keep a straight face.

"I don't see how she could have heard us all the way from over there. For that matter, I am surprised anyone can hear themselves think with the din those ceiling fans are making."

She had a point. Now that she had pointed it out I realised that the ceiling fans were really noisy. All those fans working in sync created a loud roaring sound. Not to mention the wind generated by it causing minor annoyances. I could see the visitors who were reading newspapers trying to hold the papers steady. I bet they must have wished for an extra pair of hands to hold all four corners of the paper and another one in the chest to keep the middle of the page from flapping in the wind. It was such a constant and ever-present noise that I had mentally blocked it out. Sort of like people who live next to the Power House. They don't really notice the sound of the generators. Until they stop, that is. Then they wonder what was missing. I couldn't really guess why the Library had opted for ceiling fans instead of air-conditioning. Probably because it could damage the books or something, I'm sure. Whoever was responsible for that particular brainstorm must have had the Library's best interest at heart.

"I'm sure there is a good reason for it. It could be any reason. I thought you weren't judgemental." I kept wondering why I was defending the Library. We started walking towards the JUNIOR NON-FICTION section.

"I am sure there is a really good reason and I am not being judgemental. Like I said I am merely making an observation. If I was being jud-SONOFA-!"

Heads turned. Luckily a purda-clad one wasn't among them. I looked at Amber who had stumbled forward as she had uttered the half finished curse and was now holding her toe in her hand.

"What happened?" I asked bewildered.

"What do you think happened, genius?!" her voice was strained. It was obvious she was in pain and wanted to scream. "I tripped over that!" She pointed to the floor.

I looked at where she was pointing and found one of the floorboards had one corner sticking up. She had tripped on that. Oh! That must have hurt! I moved closer to the board and stepped onto it. The floorboard shifted back into place and the floor was even once more. Then as I shifted more weight onto it, it creaked and slid a few centimetres below the floor level. Shocked, I took my weight off the board in case it couldn't hold my complete weight and the corner sprang right back up until it was sticking an inch or so above the other floorboards. How appropriate for tripping over, I thought. I wondered how many others had fallen for that trap.

"Another thing I don't understand is why this place is made of wood?" She was still massaging her toe. "This place was going to be a library right? Not like they built this place to house a different institution and at the last minute decided that the library would do nicely in here. In which case the place was destined to be filled with books, and books, in case you haven't noticed, are heavy. Especially the kind of books you usually find in libraries. Encyclopaedias, atlases, thesauruses, and dictionaries just to name a few. I don't have to be a rocket scientist or even an architect but even to me it's obvious that if I was designing a place that was going to eventually fill up with books then it should be made of stronger stuff. At least not out of wood. What if there is a fire? Whoosh!"

I winced as she made an explosive gesture with her hands. Even with a weak imagination it's not hard to imagine a place made of wood filled with paper going up in flames.

"Got a fire escape?" she asked.

"Don't think so. Could try jumping out the balcony. It's not too high."

"Fire extinguishers?"

"Ermm…"

"Didn't think so. This place isn't temporary, is it?"

"Not as far as I know," I told her truthfully.

"Oh great!"

She tested her footing, finding it to her satisfaction, grinned at me. "Shall we carry on? I don't believe we've finished with the Children's Section yet."

We continued our tour of the JUNIOR NON-FICTION. To me, suddenly the sound of our footsteps on the wooden floor seemed very ominous indeed. And it seemed that a lot of the floorboards creaked all too frequently for my liking.

She picked up a hardcover book from the Non-Fiction section. It looked ancient. "Bet you didn't know this was a junior non-fiction book." Her voice almost dripped with sarcasm..

I took the book out of her hand and examined it. The Time Machine by H. G. Wells. She was right! I didn't know it was non-fiction! She pointed out some more books that had been misplaced. I kept quiet through all that. Mostly because I really didn't know what to say. To me it was an understandable mistake. Probably some visitor had taken it out of its real location and put it somewhere else by mistake. My assumption was proved wrong when Amber pointed out that the label on the book clearly defined it as belonging to the Junior Non-Fiction section. Didn't the librarians ever check out which books belonged where? Maybe they just didn't know. That wasn't such a good thought.

Amber picked out another book and showed it to me. How Newspapers Are Made. A few minutes going through the book told me that this book was thoroughly outdated. Either that or the person who wrote the book had never heard of computer software being used for page layout and design. I hoped to God that the children who read this knew how outdated it was. This was like giving false information about the way the world worked.

"I think it would be a good idea to keep all these outdated books in a different section and label it as such," I said.

"In that case most of the books in this place are going to go into that section," Amber quipped. "Why not just get rid of the outdated stuff and buy new up-to-date books?"

"Yes, there is that option," I agreed.

"Look at this!" She was standing near a shelf filled with reference books. The Junior Reference Section no doubt but there was no sign over it. She picked up one book at random. She riffled through it. "Aha! Just as I thought."

"What?" I asked, even though I had a feeling I knew what she going to say.

She picked up another big book at random and read "Junior Encyclopaedia. Published date: 1974." She picked up some more books. "Children's Britannica 1961. New Standard Encyclopaedia 1981. My God, most of these books are older than I am. Are you sure this is the real library? You must have brought me to the museum by mistake."

"Trust me, the museum is worse." I don't know why I said that. It had sounded so much better in my head.

She gave me a look that said you're joking. After a while it changed to please tell me you're joking!

I shrugged and smiled. I better learn to keep my mouth shut. Anyway I guess we were done with the Children's Section.

"What's next?" she asked.

"The Fiction section."

"Oh joy. Can't wait!" Amber intoned and then snickered as she arrived at the end of the section filled with books. Excuse me, filled with shelves. That the shelves were not full is another matter.

One glance assured me that my worst fears were confirmed. The newest book that had graced this section was at least, at least, two years old. And those were a few. Most of them had to be more than five years old. There was no hope of seeing any of the current bestsellers around the world in this library at least. It was very sad. As a collector and lover of books I knew that the local shops regularly brought in the latest bestsellers from around the world. So why was it that this library, the National Library, was so outdated? I knew this was not the case with the school libraries. Can't be lack of funding, could it? Libraries were usually well-funded and besides it used to be well-stocked when I was a kid.

We roamed around the first floor and checked out the sections including the Dhivehi section. What I didn't tell Amber was that I noticed that even the Dhivehi section was outdated. Not as bad as the English section but not better off by much. Most of the books were well worn and dog-eared, no doubt from frequent reading. Some were ruined beyond use.

"You know something," I said to Amber, "When I was a little kid there used to be all these magazines for little kids in the library. Lots and lots! Really interesting and fun to read. I still remember the fun times we had doing the puzzles in the magazines. Most of them were Singaporean magazines I think. Let's see, I remember some of them still. D'light, I think one was called, was my favourite. So many others, too. But I don't see any more magazines for kids here."

"Oh, I am sure if those magazines were in any respectable condition then they would still be here for kids to read. The same books I mean. Around 15 years out of date but still here." She was saying it in a sarcastic way but I could tell that she was feeling for the kids who would never be able to enjoy the library, as it should be. Thank goodness that the school libraries were better off.

"Hey look!" I pointed at a sign on a shelf. It said NEW BOOKS ON DISPLAY.

Excited, we both rushed to it only to be disappointed yet again. It was mostly empty. And the books on display didn't look particularly new. A few Mills & Boons and an Agatha Christie collection seemed to be the only books worthy of note.

"Boy, if this is new books I'd hate to see the old ones!" said Amber sadly.

"I know!"

"Well, shall we go to the next floor?"

"Okay," I said and started towards the stairs.

To make a long story short let me say that what we found on the second storey wasn't all that different from the floor below. Same outdated, old and worn-out books lined shelf after shelf. The Reference Section was a horror from the grave! Some of the books were from 1960's! In fact the whole Britannica in the library series was dated almost two decades ago. Wasn't a library supposed to maintain and update their collection?

"Check this out!" said Amber opening a page in one of the huge outdated dictionaries. She jabbed at a page with her finger and I read:

li·brar·y
Abbr. lib.

1. a) A place in which literary and artistic materials, such as books, periodicals, newspapers, pamphlets, prints, records, and tapes, are kept for reading, reference, or lending.
b) A collection of such materials, especially when systematically arranged.
c) A room in a private home for such a collection.
d) An institution or a foundation maintaining such a collection.
2. A commercial establishment that lends books for a fee.
3. A series or set of books issued by a publisher.
4. A collection of recorded data or tapes arranged for ease of use.
5. Computer Science. A collection of standard programs, routines, or subroutines, often related to a specific application, that are available for general use.

"Okay, let's see," said Amber. "Check for the 'a' of the first one, don't know about 'b', 'c' I guess we can ignore, but a big X for 'd'! Maintaining? Doesn't that mean keep up-to-date or sustain? Nope, haven't seen any maintaining done around here!" She snapped shut the dictionary with a loud bang and a cloud of dust, drawing a few looks from some visitors at the desks. She grinned sheepishly and put the book back.

We had a nice surprise at one point when we found a whole shelf filled with classic books. Volumes of collected stories and poems by famous authors. Shakespeare, Daniel Dafoe, Joseph Conrad just to name a few. It was a beautiful hardcover collection and comprehensive too. Intrigued I picked up one and found that it was a gift from The British Council. I guess having the two offices in the same building paid off for the National Library. Wonder if the benefits were mutual? This also explained some of the few new titles we had come across. No doubt they were gifted by someone or other. I myself have donated a lot of books from my personal collection to the Library. I hadn't come across any of those and I wondered what had happened to them.

There was a funny moment when we found Aliens and UFOs and Mysteries of the Universe under WOMEN AND GENDER COLLECTION.

"This is not the correct location for these," said Amber picking out the two books.

"What makes you think so?" I asked pokerfaced. "I think it's in the correct section."

That really brought her hackles up! I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face but when she started her speech on women's rights and the like I quickly apologised. She really knows how to dampen any man's spirit.

"Someone seems to be trying to attract your attention," said Amber looking over my shoulder.

I turned around to see and found a friend of mine waving at me from a table. I smiled and when he gestured for me to join him at the table I walked over.

"Kihineh?" I asked, giving the perfunctory greeting.

"Rangalhennun. Kon biteh?" he asked, nodding at Amber.

I waved Amber over and introduced them to each other and we sat down next to him.

"We were just talking about how outdated most of the books in the Library were," I said as a way of starting a conversation.

"You think that's something? Listen to this. Sometime ago, they were actually contemplating whether to have separate sections for male and female visitors."

"Get out!" said Amber, thinking he was joking.

"No seriously!" said my friend in a hushed whisper. "I heard this from one of the librarians. I think it nearly came into effect but was vetoed at the last minute."

"What a ridiculous idea!" Amber said. I had to agree. What misbegotten madman had come up with that brilliant idea! Already, there weren't enough books in the whole library and then to make things worse by introducing silly and childish rules was just plain silly.

"That's not all. You know there is a Cyber Café on the second floor, right?"

We both nodded. We had gone past it on our tour but had decided not to enter since all the cubicles seemed to be filled.

"Well, get this. You can use the services of the Cyber Café free for fifteen minutes everyday if you are a member."

"That's good," I said. At least I think that's good!

"Yes, that's good. But the kicker is that you are not allowed to use any floppy discs. Can you believe that? You can do any kind of research you like but you can't take it with you."

"Why ever not?" asked Amber leaning forward to better hear him.

My friend snickered. "This is the best part. The reason you are forbidden from using floppies is…. because of the threat of viruses."

It took me a few seconds to fully comprehend the utter ridiculousness of the statement and then I nearly started laughing aloud. Both my friend and Amber were laughing quietly with their heads on the table. The table shook visibly as they tried to mute their mirth.

I could not believe it. This was beyond ridiculous. This was sheer stupidity! One of the biggest risks of contacting a virus would be through the Internet. Being connected to the Internet automatically made any computer potentially viable to a viral attack. The only way to be safe and to prevent infection was to have anti-virus software installed and keep it up-to-date. To forbid the use of floppies to a computer that was connected to the Internet for fear of virus infection was like closing all the windows of a house and opening all the doors to stop people from coming in. It's an utterly er... er… there isn't a word for the sheer magnitude of stupidity that went into that creative thought process!

"Of course, there are ways to carry your research home," my friend continued. "You can print it out and then take it. Can you imagine the cost to cater to that? How many people will want to take their research home? And how many pages do you think they will print out? I bet at least two or three reams everyday. And how much will go to waste? As anyone who has printed out webpages knows, there is usually a lot of junk at the end webpages that you don't need."

I nodded. That was true. Usually the end of a webpage would contain some links and other junk that wasn't really necessary or relevant to the page. And God help us if a print goes wrong! Endless pages of garbage. Never-ending printouts of junk and machine code before you realise what had happened. Especially if you were far away from the printer.

"Hmm… no wonder they can't afford new books!" quipped Amber. "It probably all goes to buying paper."

I made a face. Easy for her to judge. She didn't know the effort that had gone into making this place at least workable. It's very easy for people on the outside to judge the hard work of others. Like they say, it's easy to criticise. I just hope I am right.

Just then a bell rang. I nearly grabbed all the books off the table. It was an automatic reflex. That's what I usually did when the bell rang when I was in school.

"What's that?" asked Amber.

"That, is the warning bell," said my friend. "It means we have fifteen minutes to get our collective butts out of the library."

Suddenly the entire floor began to shake accompanied by a distant rumbling. Amber got up in alarm and was about to rush off when I grabbed her hand. "Where are you off to?"

"Don't you know the safest place during an earthquake is under a doorway?"

"Very funny! Hilarious," I said sarcastically. "This is Male'. We don't have earthquakes."

"Yeah," said my friend getting up. "What you just experienced is a regular phenomenon at this library. It's what I affectionately call the '15-minutes-before-the-end tremor'. When the bell rings everyone gets up to go. They pull their chairs or get up to put a book back or whatever. It's the collective effort of everyone moving at the same time that puts such a strain on these floorboards resulting in the minor shaking that you just experienced. You'll notice that the ceiling fans are now swinging a little. It's a wonder none of them has fallen on someone's head. That's the result of the same phenomena on the third floor. Up there it's even more pronounced. I hear there is already a crack starting at the top of the building making its way down. You can probably see it from the road. Wouldn't want to be in here when the bell goes for the final time, heh heh!"

It was true. Not the crack --I had yet to see that. The moment after tthe bell had rung, the 'silence' of the library was broken by the sound of chairs scraping on wood and heavy thud of footsteps and the sound of people climbing down the stairs.

"Yeah well, gotta go then," I said taking Amber's hand and getting up. "Hey, it was nice talking to you. Very educational."

"Yeah, it was fun. Thanks," said Amber. "Catch you later!"

We joined the throng of people on their way out and tried not to stamp our feet too hard on the way downstairs. Already it was too noisy for my liking. Once we were out Amber spread her hands wide and yelled. "Aaah! Firm ground at last! Terra Firma! Oh! Am I ever glad to have my feet back on solid ground!"

I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't that bad."

She laughed. "Of course, it wasn't. I am just kidding. You know me."

As we passed out the gate she stopped and turned back. "You know something?"

"What?" I asked stopping and turning with her. She pointed to the sign near the gate.

"They should change that. It's an embarrassment!" she declared.

"Why? Not fancy enough for your liking?" I asked.

"No, no, nothing like that. They should just change the sign. Instead of NATIONAL LIBRARY, it should say NATIONAL SHAME. It would be more appropriate."

This time, I had no comment.