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Pete's Drakon/Simpsons fanfic

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Contact site author this fanfic in Word 97 .DOC format Last Updated: 2005-10-14

 

DrakSimp

This is a "fanfic" set in "The Simpsons" (a Fox network cartoon) with "guest stars" Gwendolyn Ingolffson and Lefarge, of "Drakon" by S.M. Stirling. It has not been specifically approved yet by Mr. Stirling or anybody connected with "The Simpsons." Presentation is as "script directions" only because I felt this was the best way to approach a cartoon show, although I probably made many errors in terminology and style. Knowledge of the "Drakon" storyline and some familiarity with "The Simpsons" characters will vastly increase your enjoyment of the following. The title is a reference to one mention of "Drak symps" that I can't find right now, but was probably in "The Stone Dogs." Two "retired" minor characters in "The Simpsons" are in this fanfic; actors who are now deceased voiced those characters, and no disrespect is intended to their memory.

Disclaimer: The Gwendolyn Ingolffson and Lefarge characters and associated situations are copyright © S.M. Stirling and may not be used or reproduced commercially without permission. No profit is being made from the stories/documents/files found on this website.
Legal Notice: The Simpsons are a trademark ™ and copyright © FOX and its related companies, all rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication, or distribution in any form is expressly prohibited. (I'm a bad boy for writing this using these characters, and I shouldn't get any money for it.)
Disclaimer: This document, its author(s), and any content related to "The Simpsons" are not authorized by FOX.

 

Start with the McBain (Shwarzenegger-like voice, played by Rainier Wolfcastle) character saying "Knock Knock" in a thick Germanic accent, kicking open a door, and shooting up the place with a large weapon (view is only showing him, no targets or bloodshed). Cut to see Homer Simpson watching this on TV (sounds continue) from the couch. Pull back to see Gwen the Draka (curvaceous woman in black hooded suit that makes her look like a large cat) lurking in the bushes, peering through the front window. A spotlight from the street illuminates her. She bares her teeth, snarls, and bounds away through the bushes around to the back of the house. Close-up of Chief Clancy Wiggum as he says, "that's a large cat, heh", turns off the spotlight, turns the ignition key (grinding noise), says "oops! heh heh…". Medium-long shot of him driving the police car down the street and off-camera.

Standard "The Simpsons" opening sequence. This time Bart is writing, "Education is not mind control" on the school blackboard, and the family falls out of a circle of light to land on the couch.

Caption "1 hour earlier". Cut to the darkened office of Charles Montgomery Burns as he is shown a strange device (something reminiscent of the transporter in the recent "The Fly", but about the size of a coffeepot) by the nerdy scientist character (Prof. John Frink). The scientist explains that his new dimensional attractor will bring inter-dimensional travelers to this world by acting as a beacon or dimensional vacuum cleaner. The device is plugged into the wall, and the lights dim.

Show "Power Demand" needles rising at the nuclear power plant.

Out behind Apu's convenience store, a horizontal circle of light opens in mid-air. Two things come through; one small one falls in the dumpster, the other grabs and hangs onto the light fixture high above the door for a few seconds. It is visible only as a black humanoid shape before it drops to the ground, gracefully vaulting away into the dark alley before you can get a good look at it. The circle closes behind it, leaving no sign that anything has happened, just before Apu opens the back door and comes out with a bag in his hand. He roots in the dumpster, saying, "Once again I have run out of Squishy mix. I will just have to make do with what I can find in here…" He suddenly stops and holds up a large hairy severed arm. Apu sniffs it briefly, then says "Hmm… Very large baboon, traces of leopard and wolf. Finally, my mail-order degree in genetic engineering has a practical use!" Apu excitedly puts the arm in the bag.

Cut back to Mr. Burns, who waits for only a few seconds as the device hums, then demands the device be unplugged. "Smithers, disconnect that infernal device! It's raising my electric bill!" "Yes, Mr. Burns." Show the device being yanked away from the wall while spitting sparks from the end of the cord as it disconnects. "And eject this purveyor of tomfoolery from my domicile!" "Yes Sir, Mr. Burns!"

The scientist is shown being thrown out the front door to Mr. Burns' mansion, his device lands next to him a few seconds later, shattering into pieces and emitting a small mushroom cloud that quickly dissipates.

Cut back to the office. Smithers asks, "Sir, you own the nuclear power plant. I thought you didn't have an electric bill?" "Yes, my real reason was that that fool has found another way to bring illegal immigrants into my Springfield, and I like things the way they are right now." Pan to the windows behind Burns, zoom past several stooped-over figures working in fields, and show another circle hanging in mid-air above a grassy area just short of a wood. A silver figure dangles from it, with the circle trying to close around its head. The silvery figure finally pulls itself free and falls to the ground. The circle closes and disappears with a quiet pop. Close in as the figure gets to its feet but staggers into a tree and falls down again, purple sparks crawling over its body. Even closer as it moves a silver hand through a tree (purple glow around hand and affected part of tree when this occurs), then stops moving with a groan, but you can see it still breathing. Tight close-up of a small patch on the chest that says "Lefarge", jump to another on the shoulder that says "U.S. of Samothrace." No view of the face yet. Fade to black.

Caption "Itchy and Scratchy Before Bedtime" with artwork of the mouse and cat in front of a city skyline with stars and moon. Voice over with drum roll "And now it's time for tonight's Itchy and Scratchy Before Bedtime! Pleasant dreams kids!" Cut to an "Itchy and Scratchy" cartoon titled "Call the Exterminator," (with a capital "T", and the "Ex" hurriedly drawn by hand) showing a panicked cat running away from a large robotic mouse on the title screen. A hurried low male voice says "By the terms of our legal settlement, Exterminator, not Terminator, OK?" before the title disappears. The action starts with a dirty alley setting. The cat chases the mouse into the alley and traps him against a dead end. Looming shadow over the mouse, and ominous (looks like this is the end) music. Suddenly a circle of light appears in the air overhead, and a duplicate of the mouse appears behind the cat. The new mouse reaches up, pulls the circle down, and cuts the cat in half with it. The two mice shake hands and smile over the bisected cat. The cat blinks in shock, and blood comes out of its mouth. Quick caption "years later" dissolves into mice driving large robotic "cat stompers" through a ruined cityscape carpeted with feline skulls, chasing defenseless cats, shooting them with lasers or just stomping them. Closing credits and song. Pull back slightly to show this is on a TV screen. Marge reaches in, turns off the TV, and says "Bedtime!" Bart and Lisa chorus "Awww, Mom!" but start moving towards the stairs. Homer waves to the kids, "G'nite kids!" He sits on the sofa and says, "Now I can watch that McBain movie!"

Caption "1 hour later", with the addition a few seconds later of "(where we started)" and the addition a few seconds later of "confused yet?"

Dissolve to Bart in bed tossing and turning, "can't sleep…" "I need some more stimulation…" light shines in window for a second, he sits up in bed, snaps fingers "the comic books in the tree house!" Show Bart tiptoeing across the back yard towards the tree house, using a lit flashlight. Mutual surprise at the top of the ladder when Bart lights up the interior and sees a large black cat-like figure inside, reading the comic books. Initial snarl from Gwen startles Bart; he falls backwards off the ladder ("waAAH!"). Gwen leaps out of the tree house and catches him before he hits the ground. Close-up on her face, which is surrounded by wavy lines denoting a smell. Bart murmurs "What's that smell…" then the image turns blurry and slides a little as it quickly fades to black.

Back up in the tree house, lit by the flashlight Bart was carrying, it turns out to be a blonde woman in a black hooded form-fitting outfit, Gwendolyn Ingolffson, who shakes Bart to wake him. "Wake up." gentle shake "Wake up!" harder shake "Wuzza?" "Better, boy? You'll be fine." (From her, it sounds like "Bettah boeh? Y'all be fahn" in the Southern manner.) "Now tail me sumpin' 'bout this place heah…" Ominous music gets louder, no voices audible (mostly) for a while. White word balloon comes out of Bart's mouth with an outline of the continental United States inside, Gwen loudly hisses "Yankees!" over the music. Bart points at the nuclear power plant cooling towers out the window of the tree house. Image (profile), in another word balloon, of Mr. Burns appears above Bart as his mouth moves. Gwen's mouth moves silently, image of Fat Tony (the gangster leader) appears above Bart like before. The music fades as Gwen bends down and grabs his face in her hands and purrs "Naow don' tail anyone ah wuz heah, y'heah?" Bart nods robotically. Gwen leaps out of the tree house into the darkness. The music changes to something more relaxed. Dissolve to Bart reading a "Radioactive Man" comic book in the corner of the tree house, close-up of the cover reads "Dimension Invaders from the Future!" Bart falls asleep with the comic book falling out of his hands, inside showing a mighty mushroom cloud arising from a terrific battle. (That's foreshadowing, for those who didn't notice.)

Cut to morning (sun rising, birds chirping, etc.) on a country road. Homer drives by extremely fast. A silver figure staggers out of the woods and into the road. Inside the car, Homer is too busy pushing radio buttons to notice the thump noise, or the silver figure moving past the windshield. Long outside shot of the silver figure flying into the air, trailing purple sparks, and falling towards the following school bus. Inside, Otto Mann the bus driver is singing along to his music from his headphones, with his eyes closed. Behind him, inside the bus, the silver figure falls through the roof and floor of the bus, leaving purple holes behind that quickly close. Lisa tries to call Bart's attention to the sight, but Bart is still muzzy from lack of sleep, and doesn't see anything unusual by the time his vision clears. He goes back to daydreaming about a cat-like woman in black running through a destroyed city, pursued by a mouse in a giant robot, mushroom clouds in the background. The silver figure is left lying in the road, where it fades in and out of existence while emitting purple and blue (yes, a color change!) sparks. Off camera, a car screeches to a halt, and Ned Flanders appears on foot "gosh golly gee willikers! You poor man!" and helps the silver figure up and over to the side of the road. The figure pulls down its hood to reveal a man's face (Troy McClure!), "Thank you, sir, I seem to be having some trouble getting used to this place. I'm Jean Lefarge. You won't remember me from anywhere." (Well, it's certainly Phil Hartman's voice…) "Well, that's all-doodly right, mister! You just stay out of the street while I call for an ambulance!" Ned walks back towards his car, stopped in the street. Lefarge (the silver figure) stands at the side of the road for only a few seconds before taking one step into the street, is suddenly run over by a barely seen speeding truck, and is catapulted back to the side of the road. Ned says "Oh gosh-golly-doodly dear!" off screen. Cut to 2 men loading Lefarge on a gurney into an ambulance, which starts to drive off, but he phases through the ambulance (blue sparks) and falls to the ground. The ambulance stops a few seconds later, backs up, runs him over, moves forward again, and the 2 men hop out of the back and load him on a gurney again. Telescope to black around the ambulance.

Several men are sitting around a table playing cards, most are wearing holsters over their shirts, except for "Fat Tony" who is wearing a suit. The Italian accents and large wads of money they are betting quickly establish that these are stereotypical gangsters playing poker. Suddenly "Knock Knock" is heard in a female Southern voice, the door flies open, and the lights go out. In the dark, you see many flashes of light as guns are fired, but all the strobes show is gangsters shooting each other. Finally the lights come on again, and Fat Tony is backed into a corner, his hands shaking as they hold a smoking gun that clicks a few times, indicating he's out of bullets. A dark figure slides in to block the view and you hear a purring "Naow lait's see if yew can hailp me…" Fade to black.

Sound of crickets, gathering clouds; it's night at the front gate of Mr. Burns' mansion. A limousine pulls up to the outside speaker box, and a man's voice says (with an Italian accent) "Two boigahs and—Ow! … Oh! Uh, Miz Gwend-a-lyn Ingolff-a-son to see-a Mr. Burns." The gate opens and the car drives up to the front steps. A thin gangster steps out from the driver's side, rubbing his head, and opens the back door of the limo. Fat Tony steps out from the other front door and glares at the driver. Gwen is seated in the back, dressed in a white toga-like gown which covers only one shoulder, and holding a large flat black object that looks like a tray on her lap, which has a holographic image floating above it that sheds light on her face. The quick glimpse you see of the image resembles the device that the scientist had. She presses her hands together and it stops projecting, folds, and becomes a small black object resembling a clutch purse. She steps out, slowly heads up the steps, and the thin gangster closes the car door, then rushes up the steps to ring the bell of the house before she reaches the door. Fat Tony gets back in the car. Smithers answers the door, and she precedes him down a long, dark, narrow hallway to tall double doors. The shadows make her look like a striding god, and Smithers like a cringing lizard in her wake. Burns is in his office; a vulture resembling him is perched to one side of the large desk. He says "Ah, Miss Ingolffson! Your offer of advanced technology and eternal life sounds most interesting, but what are you looking for in return?" She glides into the room, and as the camera zooms in towards her face, shadows appear, her eyes take on a feline appearance, and she says one word "Power" (comes out sounding like "powahh."). Jump to a shot behind her, facing Mr. Burns, his desk, and the large windows. A flash of lightning and crack of thunder, the vulture shrieks and flaps its wings. Mr. Burns says "of course, my dear," and starts to cackle as we fade to black.

Establishing shot of Springfield General Hospital with dark clouds, lightning flashes that reveal a sign reading "Emergency" to one side. Cut to a counter with a sign "Emergency Admissions" hanging over it. Two nurses, one on the left is pretty and perky, sign in front of her says "Insurance - No Waiting," the one on the right is Doris the School Lunch Lady (i.e. an ugly bag) and the sign in front of her says "No Insurance - Take A Number." A faded paper behind her says "Now Serving: 3."

Cut to Lefarge, still in his silver suit, but showing many tire tracks, lying on a gurney in the hospital hallway, groaning. Dr. Julius Hibbert (the portly black doctor who chuckles inappropriately) walks down the hallway, stops next to him, and says, "Son, you really should have a doctor look at that." then chuckles and walks on. Dr. Nick Riviera (who apparently got his degree in a box of Cracker Jack) then scurries by in the opposite direction, just as Lefarge glows blue and green and falls through the gurney onto the floor. Dr. Nick stops, shrieks "Nurse! This man needs help! We must operate immediately!" Two burly orderlies lift Lefarge back onto the gurney and try to push it down the hallway after Dr. Nick, but Lefarge keeps flashing green and falling to the floor every few seconds. The orderlies put him on the gurney again, and repeat this several times as the group moves away down the hallway.

Cut to Dr. Nick leafing through a book titled "Surgery For Fun and Profit" while the water runs in the sink next to him. A female voice says "Doctor? We're ready in here!" Dr. Nick says "Coming! Let me finish washing my hands!" Then he closes the book, hides it under a stack of towels, shuts off the water, wipes his hands on the front of his bloody scrubs, and walks through the door marked "Operating Room" holding up his hands in front of him.

Cut to a Humvee with 2-star general's flags on the front fenders pulling up at the hospital Emergency Room entrance, followed by a large covered military truck. A uniformed man gets out of the back door, opens the driver's door, and salutes at attention as the general (apparently Rainier Wolfcastle smoking a cigar) exits the Humvee and enters the hospital. The soldier whines, "I wish he'd let me drive once in a while." Soldiers with assault rifles jump out of the back of the truck, and start following the general, yelling "hup hup" all the time as they jog (everywhere - they jog in place and yell "hup hup" if they aren't jogging to somewhere). The noise of helicopters starts and gets louder, and several searchlights start to play over the outside scene as it pulls back. A tank slows down and stops in the parking lot, partially crushing a small car, and the turret turns to point at the hospital.

Cut to the square-jawed general striding down the hospital corridor (seen from below and in front, so all you see is his face with ceiling panels scrolling behind him), and the crashing of boots and "hup hup" as background sounds. He stops at the "Emergency Admissions" desk and demands from the "Insurance" nurse "There was a strange man admitted here recently, where is he?" She asks sweetly, "Did he have insurance?" The general is taken aback. The pretty nurse then asks, "Hey, aren't you…" The general interrupts her with a guttural "No, it is my brother who is the movie star." Our view of the pretty nurse slides over to Doris, lingers for a second, then the general says "Follow me, men!" and the soldiers all head down the corridor with the usual "hup hup."

Dr. Nick is just about to cut into Lefarge's silver suit when the doors to the operating room crash open, and the general steps in and points, "There he is!" Soldiers move around the general and point their guns at everybody: the nurses, Dr. Nick, the anesthesiologist, etc. but not at Lefarge. Dr. Nick backs away, scalpel in hand, babbling, "I was going to serve the whole 5 years, really I was, it wasn't my fault…" He drops the scalpel as several soldiers grab him and frogmarch him over to the general. Ignoring Lefarge, the general growls to Dr. Nick "You got a patient with extremely strange symptoms, where are you hiding him?" Dr. Nick shrugs and gives his best innocent "search me" expression. Lefarge groans again, glows green and orange, and falls through the operating table and the floor. Suddenly everybody notices that he's gone, and they stare at each other in amazement.

Lefarge staggers to his feet in the hospital basement, stumbles past several bodies lying comatose with tubes all over them (a la "Coma"), and through a door out into the night. The sound of helicopters and thunder comes through, with a lightning flash, before the door closes and the scene turns black.

Several quick scenes, all presented as images that move slightly before freezing with a "click" noise, then turning into black & white photos that each fall on top of the previous one: Prof. Frink standing at door to his house being offered open briefcase of money by Fat Tony; Burns appearing at a charity event with Gwen on his arm; "Draka Technology: Tomorrow the World" sign being raised over building next door to Burns' nuclear plant (the sign has the Draka dragon with chains symbol to the left of the text); silver figure lying in the road with tire tracks across its back; Bart Simpson making a goofy face. Pull back to Ms. Krabappel sitting behind a teacher's desk in a classroom, the photographs on the desk in a pile, telling Lisa Simpson "Except for this last one, there's no art in your photography, Lisa." Lisa whines "But this was an investigative report, and that last one of my stupid brother wasn't supposed to be there! I've been finding an awful lot of strange things going on here in Springfield lately, and these are my proof!" Ms. Krabappel says "Now, now Lisa, there's nothing out of the ordinary in Springfield, but let me have these pictures so I can enter them in the photography contest for you." Lisa murmurs a reluctant "OK," turns, and leaves the classroom. After the door closes with a click, the teacher picks up the phone, dials a number and says, "Houston, we have a problem."

Cut to a man wearing a "Houston" name badge holding a phone. Pull back to the inside of a building enclosing an enormous version of the scientist's device. Pan over to Gwen standing in front of it, nodding as people work busily on construction, welding, and wheeling things back and forth. She turns and strides from the building to the limousine outside, driven by Smithers, with Burns waiting in the back seat. Burns asks, "How is progress?" Gwen replies "Slahtly ahaid uh shedyule, ah think ah've frahhtened thaim enough foah one day." in her slurred Southern/English accent. Burns murmurs "Excellent, excellent." then louder, "Soon my dear, we'll both have what we want!" Audio of Gwen and Burns both laughing as Smithers drives away. A silver figure falls out of a tree nearby, and lands on the ground, with a flash of orange light.

Lisa walks into the kitchen, and asks Marge, "Mom, what if you know there's an plot to enslave everybody by letting in invaders from another dimension, but nobody believes you?" Marge says "Well honey, I always believe IN you, but I'm not sure I can believe this story of yours without proof." Lisa pouts "But I just gave all my proof to Ms. Krabappel…" Lisa pauses, and is suddenly struck by a horrifying thought, "What if she's in on it too? Oh Mom!" Marge shakes her head, "Honey, you've always been a good girl, but this sounds like something that Bart would make up. I'm sorry, but there's nothing to your fantastic story without proof." Lisa sulks and leaves quietly "OK Mom…"

In the upstairs hallway, Lisa knocks on Bart's door, hears "What?" from inside, and replies, "It's Lisa, I need to talk to you." Bart's voice replies, "Wait a second! … OK guys, you'll have to go now. Adios muchachos!" Two gruff male voices say "Adios El Barto" and "Vaya con dios, El Barto." There are some clomping noises before the door opens slightly and Bart sticks his head out. Lisa stands out in the hallway with her hands on her hips and demands, "What's going on in there?" Bart replies "Nothing…" but his eyes shift from side to side, and he pulls his head back inside for a second before popping it back out and saying "You can come in now." Lisa enters Bart's room with a suspicious glare, but nothing is out of the ordinary. Lisa sits on the edge of the bed and asks "Bart, what if you know there's a plot to enslave everybody by letting in invaders from another dimension, but nobody believes you?" Bart holds up his hands and says, "Now hold on there, Leese! I don't know who told you about the cat-lady in the tree house, but there was never anything serious between us!" Judging from Lisa's serious stare, Bart realizes that was the wrong thing to say. Lisa grabs Bart's hand and starts dragging him out of the room saying, "Since you seem to know about it, then you're going to help me put a stop to it!"

Bart and Lisa head down the street towards the nuclear plant, Lisa on her bicycle, Bart on his skateboard.

The two children arrive outside the Draka Technology building after dark. Flashes of light shine from all the windows simultaneously, as if the entire building is one big room. As they gaze in wonder, Lefarge falls to the ground nearby, "Aaah! Ooof!" from no apparent source, giving off a red glow. He staggers over to them, and gasps, "You've got to help me stop the snake!" Lisa's face is suddenly lit up from above, she looks up, cut to the Draka Technology sign, and a flickering light bulb illuminating the sign suddenly stays on to reveal the Draka "dragon and chains" symbol to the left of the word "Draka." There are no more flashes of light from the windows. Lefarge cries aloud, turns and plunges through the electrified fence towards the building, leaving a man-shaped hole behind. Lisa gasps in sudden comprehension. "Come on Bart!" she cries, and drags Bart with her through the hole after Lefarge.

Gwen and Burns are standing before the large device with nobody else in sight. Gwen is in her black outfit again, hands on hips. Burns looks a hunched-over wreck in comparison, but he is devilishly spry, and rubbing his hands together in glee. Gwen calls out "Turn it on!" and Burns seconds "Yes Smithers, turn on the infernal device!" Smithers, in a now-visible control room off to the side, presses a button and a low humming noise starts to build in volume and increase in pitch.

Cut to "Power Demand" needles jumping up, and Homer's voice says "uh oh…" Pull back to show Homer in the nuclear power plant control room alone, sitting in a swivel chair, an open box of doughnuts is on the counter next to a phone. While Homer listens (initially startled), a female computer voice says, "Increased demand detected from ultimate priority customer, automated load shedding in progress. Prioritized disconnect list running. Deadbeat residential customers… off." Homer grabs a doughnut and starts eating during the long voice-over. A quick shot of Barney lying on a bed in a grungy apartment, suddenly the lights are off and he says "Hey!" All you see are two eyes, then lots of little eyes appear elsewhere in the room. An oblique view of Springfield at night, with a few dark areas. More and more go dark as the computer voice continues "Unimportant customers, off. Good customers, off. Important customers, off. Mr. Burns' buddies, off." until only the power plant itself and the adjacent Draka Technology building are left with lights showing. "Ultimate priority customer demand satisfied by disconnecting approximately 99.99918999482 percent of customers. Thank you, and have a nice day." the computer voice concludes. Homer warily says, "OK…" and relaxes back in his chair with his feet up, and knocks the phone off the hook with his foot. He closes his eyes and starts to snore.

[That number happens to be 1 minus 1/123,456. Anyone know the number of customers the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant really has?]

Cut to Moe in his darkened bar, his face lit by a candle, holding a phone making a "busy signal" noise. "Lousy nuclear power plant! I never trusted that thing for a second, all these past 32 years!" he rasps, and he bangs down the phone.

Back in the Draka Technology building, Gwen is standing in the same position, but bouncing up and down on her toes. Burns is still rubbing his hands in glee, and the device is emitting slowly moving circular bands of light that move up and down (a la "Metropolis"), and the noise has turned into a high whining. A loud crack noise is heard, and a brilliant vertical circle of light appears between the two and the device. It rotates with accelerating speed, until a clear sphere appears. "Ah!" says Gwen, "Aha!" says Burns. "Nooooooo!" screams Lefarge, who rushes in and tackles Gwen into the sphere. Gwen is obviously surprised, but she appears on the other side of the sphere, none the worse for wear, and Lefarge is somehow trapped inside. He starts glowing bright red. His glow grows and fades, getting brighter at the top of each cycle, and the device starts to make a throbbing noise in synchronization with the glow. Gwen is grinning evilly at the sight of a trapped Samothracian, but suddenly grimaces, grabs her temples, and falls to her knees screaming in pain. Burns stands there in shock, but Smithers rushes out from the controls and starts to drag him away. Bart tugs on Lisa's arm, and the two pairs stumble away from the device, eyes still watching the unmoving Gwen and Lefarge. Long overhead shot of the building, four small figures are seen leaving in pairs through opposite sides of the building. The walls suddenly bulge outward, and then the roof goes straight up as a mushroom cloud appears with a large explosion noise.

Homer suddenly starts and falls out of his chair at the noise, and as he scrambles up to his feet (it takes several tries, he keeps slipping or tripping over the chair) the computer voice says "Ultimate priority customer load demand is now zero. Service to other customers must be resumed using manual reconnection procedures. Estimated time to complete manual procedures is 12 days, 3 hours, 45 minutes, and 67 seconds. Thank you, and have a nice day." Homer finally gets to a stable position with just his head and fingers over the edge of the counter, like Kilroy, exhausted. "What?" he says, apparently to the computer.

[What kind of computer would say 67 seconds? :) ]

Closing credits.

 

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The Draka characters and situations are copyright © S.M. Stirling and may not be used or reproduced commercially without permission. No profit or income is being made from the stories/documents/files found on this website.
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