[[Poems & Rants]]
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Here is some more recent writing I have done.....I apologize that I do not have many poems displayed, but it seems that the rantings have taken over me....
It's not that I'm Satanic - it's just, I don't believe in God and I see no point in attending a service at any church - ever. I do not sing religious songs, I do not pray, I do not touch a Bible, I speak as little as possible. I keep my eyes away from those of others. They do not need to see my face. I know what they are thinking when I do not partake in Communion. Let them wonder and rebuke me - their pretense in something "holy" does not interest nor concern me. They wouldn't understand anyway. Not the cliquey kids or the new mothers, not the deacon dads or the old folks. They would all just nod sympathetically and say whisper-like, "I'll be praying for you." Let them think what they will - I do not need to waste my time with their Christian antics.
-x- Thoughts during and after years attending a Baptist church (full of snobs and preps except for a choice unlucky few, like myself) and about five times attending an Episcopal church (full of rich old folks who thought I was sick the whole time....Later my mother told me I looked like Satan sitting alone all in black with my head down, avoiding contact and not taking part in the reading or singing - however, neither of us wanted to take Communion so we left early....We made a good first impression, eh? Of course, none of the old folks remembered me from last year, but now they've met my mother....) -x-
Words Meant for a Love Not Found.....
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I want someone to know me
To know who I AM
Not my name or where I come from
But me, my soul, my being, my essence
I want someone to know me
And care
I don't want someone to see what I am
And then turn away
I want them to look in my eyes
And KNOW.
Someone who will understand
I want someone to see me
Someone to appreciate my art
My soul's blood and tears
And I want to see them
And understand theirs
I know there is someone
But I do not know where
Come find me.
I want to know the moment we meet
I want to be able to look at them
And say without fear or doubt
"You are the reason I am alive."
And I want it to be true
I want to be certain when saying it
My voice will not waver, my eyes will not fall
I will not break my gaze
I will just know
They will know, too
Our souls will be the same
They will see me
And not be ashamed
They will not turn
They will just.....
Love.
They will have art pf their own
My heart beats and breath escapes my lips
I know there is someone
Whose heart beats the same as mine
And whose breath is so sweet
That my hands will tremble to touch theirs
Whose eyes are so sad
Eyes that behold truth and pain
The rawest elements
The elements that combine to bear real art
To bear beauty
My soul will weep to finally have found them
I will know happiness
I will be held
In gentle arms
And I will know love.
I will.
Where are you, Love?
Come, hold my hands
Cry with me
Create art with me
Be beautiful with me
I will die alone if we never meet
I will die unloved, surrounded by nothing
Blank, wasted air
Please find me
I dream of you
I long for you
Always.
You are hidden from me
In a cruel world
I know you feel me
When you are alone
I wish you could feel my love
Even when you know not of me
I feel you are somewhere
I can just feel the faintest touch
Of your fingertips on my lips
The whisper of your breath
As it leaves your lungs
I see your eyes
You are so beautiful......
I weep for you
Why must we be kept apart?
Oh, hateful world
Leave me to find love
I will know you
If not in life,
Then maybe in death
Life is so short
But seems so long when you are alone
What if I never find you?
I must keep searching
You will find me......
Please
These words are in the air
For you to hear
To feel
To understand
They will not become lost
For they are true
They are my soul's
And willl not die
They escape me
To wonder through the deaf ears and blind eyes of the world
To find you.
Do not worry, Love
We will meet
I know
Stay for me
Don't leave me
You will not be alone forever
I promise
And I do not make promises just to break them
I am not like everyone else who has hurt you
Believe me
Believe these words
For they are mine
And I love you
Even though I do not know you yet......
(C) Copyright of [[HemorRage]]
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