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[[Poems & Rants]] |
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These are my first rants of the new year.....this marks the beginning of another year of hatred.....and insanity....... |
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| [[Abou |
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Pain is enjoyable at times - when the psychoticness envelopes the mind - the soul endilges insanely with the numbing pleasure - the jerking of nerves, the twitching of muscle - slicing of skin - the air strangling the blood cells - red - red everywhere, but it feels so good - so realxing - Why do people take one look at the scars and call you crazy? If only they felt your joy, knowing you, you, not somebody else - was slowly destroying your body? No one else sees or understands - "I, too, know the pleasure of hurting myself. You're not the only one." - doing these things to yourself gives you the ability to say that and for it to be true. What goes through another person's mind when you say that? Sigh. So many things you never say to people - I wonder sometimes if I had said something would it have changed anything about them? The way they looked at another person? The way they saw art or maybe just made them think twice about saying something cruel.I dwell too much on these |
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[[Poems & Rants]]
[[1]] [[2]] [[3]] [[4]] [[5]] [[6]] [[7]] [[8]] [[9]] |
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[[Pictures]]
[[1]] [[2]] |
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____________________ |
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things. The world is too big with problems and life is too short to think about these things. I mean - I can't name a single person that thinks about the same things I do. And even if they do, they don't let others know about it. They keep it. Suppress snd keep. No one can judge if they know not of - sometimes logic wins over emotion - this is never the case with me. Everything hurts or just bounces off. I feel too much and nobody sees, nobody knows - they think it's all some ploy to get attention or to get something I want. Don't they get it? I don't want anything. I just want to die, and that's inevitable. They'd tell me to get a fucking brain or a grip or a life or something sarcastic like that because they don't really care. No one wants to care. Because if they care - then they will have to know you - and no one wants to know you. They want to be selfish and remain surrounded by blank empty faces. The only person they are hurting is themself. Not loving or being loved, not caring about anyone but themself. People are so disgusting. When will someone know me? Ugh, I need to sleep now before I get excited like before and stay up for two days without eating - just thinking, just writing. I surprise myself sometimes when this tuff just pours out of me. What am I supposed to do about it? I don't want to stop forever but at times it seems cowardly to write and not show myself and they will still not care - and that is what hurts. Wanting someone to care and then knowing they won't. Ugh, I've got myself excited again, I wish I was blind so I wouldn't stay up late writing - I am exhausted.. My soul exhausts me. I tell it, "Be still, let me sleep," and it says back, "Get up - write - let me be free." So I get my ass out of bed and let go and when it's over I can finally rest. Well, soul? What do you want so badly to go on and on about? Get to the point before I fall over - geez. Okay, so the point is - why don't we ever really know anyone? Why do we hide ourselves all our lives in misery? Why are we afraid? Will we ever get over it? Are there ever people who actually get someone to know and care? Someone who knows their deepest darkest thoughts? Some one who is there? I need to know so I will know if there is a point to this life of mine - I mean it's already half-ruined so will it get any better? If people could see their futures - the suicide statistics would get worse. Trust me. I know I'm right. Okay, so there's the point. Now I'm going to try to get some God-forsaken sleep. Shit it's ten minutes till one a.m. Damn it, this soul is trying to kill my body so it can go to wherever souls go after death.....
(C) Copyright of Silence, a.k.a [[HemorRage]] |
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Poems Written in a Rage After Love Scarred Me Once More |
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I wish I could just curl up
And pull darkness around me
Over me, inside me
Drowning yet soothing
Caressing yet piercing
Open your eyes, close your eyes
Nothing changes
Everything swallowed
In the absence of light
How beautiful that would be
Darkness calms me
Comforts me
Lays my feelings of pain and hate
To rest
When will I die
And become forever enveloped
In my beloved cloak
Of tranquility?
Death will come
To stroke my cheek
Whisper softly in my hair
Kiss me
And hold me
In Darkness
(C) Copyright of [[HemorRage]] |
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I love you but you are nothing.
Do you not see?
Leave me
The pain won't last forever
I won't feel it
Or rather, I will feel it so much
That I will become empty
The feeling numbing me
If you push me first
I will push you away
And be silent
The tears staying inside me
In the dark corners of my heart
Where only I see my pain
Forget me
Love me not
I.Can't.Feel.You.Any.More.
Love is a twisted thing
Ugly, snarling
Rearing its head
After you have trusted.....
I hate Love
Therefore, I shall remain alone
It is finished.
(C) Copyright of [[HemorRage]] |
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