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Being The
Genius
November 24th, 2003 •
Written By:
Big Rob |
 |
Hello, all you Big Rob fans out there. After last
week’s inaugural commentary, I, being the Genius that I am, realized
that I never explained the point of this commentary. Actually, I don’t
know if there is a point at all. Basically, I rant and rave about how much
WWE sucks, and throw shitbricks at all the WWE “superstars”. Then
I make my predictions/observations. They may not be confirmed by internet
god/satans’s lover Dave Meltzer, but enjoyable none the less.
- You can count on a Kane run-in during the World Heavyweight Chumpionship
Match tonight between Goldberg and Trips (HHH). This will set up one of the
most boring feuds of all time: Goldberg vs. Kane, second only to the entire
Ministry/Corporation feud of 1998-1999.
- If things work out right, Matt Hardy and Lita will sign contracts
with CBS to become characters on one of CBS’ daytime soaps, seeing how
as WWE would rather have them go on dates and make out than actually have
two of their better wrestlers do what they’re paid for and wrestle. |
- HUGE Steve Austin Return Update: If Steve Austin returns to Wrestling,
which has yet to be confirmed, he may want to do a match at WMXX, although
this has not yet been confirmed. It is rumored that his opponent may be Vince
McMahon, although this, too, has not been confirmed. i.e.: NO ONE HAS ANY
IDEA WHAT STEVE AUSTIN IS DOING. Also rumored; If Tupac is not indeed dead,
there is a chance that he may have been raped by a man who was reported to
look like a certain pale skinned female voiced pop star:That’s right,
Clay Aiken.
- The following is a list of things that suck
- WWE
- The state of Wrestling in General
- The State of New York in general
- Catching an STD
- The fact that Hach has banged more girls than I ever will
- WENDY
- The following is a list of things that do not suck
- The new Korn CD
- Getting paid $9.00 an hour to sit on my ass
- Prostitutes (oh, wait, they do suck)
- Look for a final, definite conclusion to the CM Punk/Raven feud that
was supposedly finally, definitely concluded in September at the Ring of
Honor show on 9/5 that Hach and yours truly attended. By doing this, ROH
accomplished 2 things: 1) They managed to drag a feud out longer than one
month and 2) They managed to get $25 out of Hach’s sorry ass for a T-shirt
marking the alleged conclusion to this feud. This proves my theory correct:
Germans love David Hasselhoff.
- That’s all for now, Big Robophiles. I’ll be back next week
and remember, if you read it here, there is some shred of a possibility that
it may or may not be true. |
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