 Yes,
it's nearly a month after the fact. The fact being Halloween. But seeing
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and no reason not to celebrate Halloween
just a little late.
So anyhow, what is this all about? Why are you calling this a late Halloween?
And why is "In The Year 2000..." in the title as well? Okay, so I don't have
all the answers. But you have all watched Conan O'Brien and his segment "In
The Year 2000..." Well, I got some images of stars that have starred on this
segment. So what I'm going to do is give a reason why "In The Year 2000..."
that you would be or should be scared to see them as a possibile person that
could ruin your life. So without further ado. Let's go!
Now the first scariest person to encounter, and this is no particular order.
Alright. Maybe from the funniest to the unfunniest or something along those
lines. Or just what I feel like, so just read it all!
Why do you make me get side tracked?
Now, here is a person you just don't want to run into on a Island.
It's Jurassic Parks, Jeff Goldblum! Now why wouldn't you want to meet him
on a Island. Well, if your a moron then you need this explained. But seeing
you are, I won't. But Goldblum is your average Jewish star who made it big
as The Fly. Now he is here with his black framed glasses, his odd futuristic
neckbrace and a green tint which builds up more and more questions. Yet,
the main fear you should have of Mr. Goldblum is -- Why the hell are you
still getting acting roles? But is that the main question we should ask,
because we haven't even mentioned why I'm doing this. Okay, imagine if you
will, Mr. Goldblum is your president "In The Year 2000..." What are your
main fears of Mr. Goldblum's Presidential tenure? If you said seeing Dinosaurs,
then your a complete idiot. You should fear him pushing Apple Computers on
you. Because the only thing more useless then Jeff Goldblum is Apple Computers.
They go together like a crack head with dreams and the current vegtable known
as Christopher Reeves.
Moving on ward. To the next person you should fear "In The Year 2000..."
It's Kids In The Hall's very own Scott Thompson. Who's homosexual tendencies
are openly noticed by the cult following of Kids In The Hall. Why should
we fear Thompson? Simple. He's not only a homosexual, but he's a Canadian.
Just look at his picture, if that doesn't scare you, then this will - "Hi
I'm Scott Thompson, and yes, I'm the fag." If Thompson would rule the world,
he would force us all to become homosexuals and be compeletly open with it.
But more scary would be the fact that our universal flag would be the Canadian
flag. A fucking Maple Leaf! A fag and a flag. What a scary combination!
Turning all heads another way, we shall notice the likes of a man that is
seemingly portrayed as a homosexual, but of course is not. And who may that
be you ask?
Well, none other than resident psychiatrist.Frasher Crane. But what should
we fear about this man who's bald head glimmers of a green atomic nature?
That he not only isn't a psychiatrist, but that he actually has a real name.
A real name of Kelsey Grammer! Why should that scare you? Why should you
fear this man? It's simple. He's spent more time in Primetime then virtually
anyone ever! Plus with that smirk. He's just has to be up to something devious
and wrong. He's trying to push smart thinking on all of us. Hey, he did spend
2 whole years at the Juilliard School. Now if that doesn't send shockwaves
of fear down your spine, then you should have along conversation with Stephen
Hawkin.
Another man to fear is a friend of Mr. Grammer, or shall I say Sir Grammer
as he refers to himself. With none other than former Cheers buddy...
It's current Becker star Ted Danson. So why should we fear this former bartender
slash owner of a pub located in Boston known as Cheers? Well, first of all,
his hair plugs have turned GREEN!!! Sam Malone, should be feared. Not only
was he a bartender and former baseball player, but he always somehow got
the attention of a waitress seemingly all the time. Minus the fact that they're
both washed up former people that nobody really liked or cared about. But
the scariest fact about Ten Danson is that, he is not Ted Danson, but the
fact is Ted Danson died in 1994. This is in fact Jeff Goldblum!!!
Now with that said, it's time to say those words we all know and love. The
man that fought Rocky....
It's resident Mr. T. So you ask what is there to fear about this former A-Team
star? Other than his fear of flying, his big black van and those words he
made so ever popular "I Pitty The Fool." Because we all know Mr. T will and
does pitty the fool. So what does that mean? It means he'll kick your ass
and tell you the truth! And he knows you can't handle neither.
Now seeing we've cut threw the mass of scary. Let's move on to the four scariest
people.
Here we have Jim Carrey. What makes him scary? Well, first off the way he
acts stupid and becomes famous for it. Yet, did you know that this Dumb &
Dumber star was Once Bitten! Yes, he was bitten by a vampire so there is
something to worry about. But he also was the only white member of a entire
black cast of comedians known as In Living Color. He's also a former husband
of Jennifer Lopez. Yet, the biggest thing to fear is that he is the Six Million
Dollar Man and he does have fun with Jane, because he's the Dick! Fear stupidity.
Oh, he's Canadian as well.... Even scarrier I KNOW!!!
Now Carrey is not the only one to fear that was on the In Living Color show.
We also have this man to fear.
It's Chris Rock! Fear Chris Rock! Why should you fear Chris Rock? Well, he's
played every role from crack head to the 13th Apostle. As well as playing
a white blood cell to the president of the United States. But the main reason
you should fear him is because well, he's going to take a Sick Day soon.
And that should send fear into everyone!
Now the battle for the scariest person and the biggest person to fear is
well, seemingly a tie. But it's not so I'm sad to say this to all the fans
of this guy. But he's not that scary.
It's Andy Richter. And some guy said the only thing to fear is fear itself.
But think about this for a second, it's Conan's show, yet Andy has a show
called "I'm With Andy." Now think about that.... Because obviously there
is somebody with Andy, according to his white face and green hair. So keep
thinking.
Yeah, I know that was short. But that last one causes you to think. Now moving
on to the man you should fear the most.... Alright, it's not a man, or is
it?
It's none other than Rosanne!
Well, this has been a scary presentation! I hope your not scared! Or as Julius
Smokes would say are you SSSSSCCCCCAAAAARRRRREEEEEDDDDD!!!!!! |
