WARNING! This site is intended for adults over the age of 18

home | babbles | wrestling | features | cartoons | forum | faq

The Year Is Almost Over     December 24th, 2003 • Written By: Matt

Here we are, my dear friend, after this whole year, getting drunk again... I'd claim to be a poet, but I'd be lying. If you want some sweet ass poetry like that though, and some funny ass shit, download some Stephen Lynch shit. The man is a genius. Welcome to The Remedy. Following my last edition, I figured I might get somewhat of a response, but sadly nobody tried to find out more about my technique, or anything else for that matter. Hach claims comments were made, but he pussed out on naming who made comments about it, so if any of the parties that had something to say would like to come out of the shadows, I welcome you to bring whatever you feel about 3M, my technique, to the forefront. Any and all comments are welcome, I will not snap, I will not become irate, and I WILL consider any and all prospects for demonstration of the technique... Har... AIM me at UnbreakableMB or go with [email protected]. Word... Anyway, not a whole lot to discuss. This year is almost over. For me, this was a year of ups and downs, and many of them improved me regardless of them being positive or negative.  - Was in a major car accident August 2002, almost died, but survived. Downside being, I gained nearly 100 pounds from not being able to do DICK.  - Lost school at Temple U because of the car accident.  - Became a raging alcoholic when I wasn't able to work, educate myself, or have much fun.  - Drank so much at a March party that I threw up blood. Swore off drinking.  - Met Lara, a major part of my life, and my source of energy to fight off the bad shit in my life.  - Broke up with Lara in November, but wherever she is right now, she needs to know she was my inspiration. You'll always be important.  - Lost 100lbs, after ballooning to 320 during my post accident depression.  - Getting in shape by running, lifting, etc... Down to 210.  - Took up drinking with responsibility this time. The past year has seen alot of change in me. While I'm not any more mature than I ever was, I kinda understand what I want from everything that has happened to me, and I know what I want from myself. I obviously want "that girl." The one who's smile you can't forget, and you see everytime you close your eyes. I want her mind, her body, and her soul. She doesn't have to put on a fascade, wear flashy makeup, put on skirts and halters. I'll be lovin her for her. I want my education, more than anything else besides the girl. I never took it seriously in High School, yet I could have done so much more. I had a 1.71 GPA coming out of my junior year, yet I still managed to get into Ivy League Schools. I could have had that if I didn't fuck everything up. I want my dreams. I want to play a sold out show, I want to score the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl... I want to skate with the Stanley Cup... I just hope that in the next year, all of you out there can fulfill your dreams, and find consciousness, much like I did. There is only two feelings in this world that can completely make me lose it all. The smile of the woman I love, whomever she is, and the realization that I have a purpose. I wish everybody could have that... Anyway, onto less feeling oriented material, and to some stories from the past week. On Sunday night, I was slavin away at the Stop (Gamestop, perhaps the coolest or worst job to have, it all depends on the day), and it just seemed like a real pisser, as most of my days do. Lines out the ass, holiday shoppers, etc... I'm standing behind the register line, and I look out towards the mall and see this pretty decent looking gal coming towards the store, baby stroller in tow. I generally dislike taking moms in my line, so I excuse myself and move to the back of the store, into the backroom. I take my time, hoping she'll be gone, taken care of by either Ed or Tim, both good friends by the way. So I come back out of the back and walk to the counter, where nobody is helping this lady. I look at her and smile, thinking that's she's ok looking for a young mom, then ask her what she needs. She responds with her question, which I can't remember for the life of me right now, but it's really not important. So I start to think up the answer, talking it out, then I look down and notice that the halter top she's wearing (lace between the two "straps"). Normally, no big deal, I see girls wearing less on a daily basis working in a Philadelphia mall. Then I look closer and notice that her left boob is just hanging out of her halter. I look... And I completely lose track of my thoughts, and just stand there and look her in the face for a second, then I turn around and look at Ed behind me, then just BUST out laughing. I mean, c'mon! How often do you think a dude that works at Gamestop sees naked breasts at work? NEVER! And the very site of one, which never really leaves me speechless or thoughtless, at Gamestop just stumped me... I pride myself on being a guy who has a comeback for everything, but all I could muster was laughing. And laughing... And laughing... Until I fell on the floor and just let go, laughing until I had to get up and go back to the back room to wipe the tears from my eyes. Later that night, we went to this diner like 30 mins from the mall to meet up with Chris' girlfriend Jackie and two of her friends, and we talk to these dudes who work at the Pac Sun in the mall. Apparently this chick was either dead stupid, or she just didn't care, because she wheeled the baby around the mall for HOURS not worrying about the breast she was exposing. I wish I had enough confidence to expose my junk all day. Not that I'm hurting in that department at all, but just the fact that so many people are in the mall looking around... PLEASE! What are you thinking at that point... "Gee, my left breast is sticking out... Well... Oh well! Ya win some ya lose some! Easy come easy go!" If I ever think of the perfect response to that situation, my life will be complete. In retrospect the past day, I think I figured it out though. I should have given her a dollar. I mean, how would she respond to that? I would have zinged her zing! She'd be speechless! Oh well... Besides that, hopefully I'll have some pics up on Hachland soon from last night (Monday Night). Tim, Matt F., Eric, and I went out to a baseball field with two six packs, then filmed Tim nailing me over the head with a light tube, which I then returned with a light tube shot across his back. I was wearing the proverbial "Crimson Mask." I really am the dumbest man alive... Or maybe just the next Steve-O... The future will see... Anyway, if anybody has any comments, you know where to find me. Love ya ladies, Matt

[ Add A Comment ]

Copyright © 2003 Hachland Inc. All rights reserved.