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Hachland Gets Mattitude 4th Ed.     November 11th, 2003 • Written By: Matt

Everybody can stop crying now, the entertainment is back once again, hopefully this time to do something... Entertaining, unlike my last column which was... Less entertaining, and more of a personal service article. That should be different today. I think the way to finally crack the ice on this column and make it permanent is to finally give this article the name that it rightly deserves. Keeping in mind my stretch of returning entertainment to Hachland, there's only one name that I could rightly give my dose of Mattitude on Hachland. That is, of course... The Remedy Because that's what I am, aren't I folks? Your two/three time a week Remedy to Hach and Sam. So this episode, and all the ones following this one, will be called The Remedy. On with the tainment'. By the way, if anybody wants to e-mail me personally, I can be reached at [email protected], or LeftCoast9282 on Instant Messenger. I have no clue why, but Hach has decided to send my e-mail link to his mail box. Regardless, here we go... I wish one way or another I could get some feedback about what people think of my articles, seeing as how I don't know the majority of the audience for this site, and Hach rarely gives feedback. It's hard to tell what people find entertaining these days. What one person thinks is entertaining, could have a completely different definition to somebody else. So I've been going the safe route and talking about either A) Funny Things or B) Stuff that interests me that I have opinions on. If I do that, no matter what I'll be laughing, and that's all that counts. I've been thinking a small feature I'll add to The Remedy will be small issues I discuss with my lady that could be thought provoking to share here. I'll start that this week. Boxers/Briefs: Neither. As I explained to her before, the Boxers are great for their freedom, but the Briefs are great for their support they give to your most needed area of support. That's why I do Boxer Briefs, the greatest invention known to man. The best of both worlds I say: The freedom of a Boxer, the support of a Brief. Recently, I have even gone a step further and done things her way, trying the no underwear at all option. She swears by it, has done it all her life, so I had to at least give it a try. The results have been mixed. I like the ultra freedom, but there are some drawbacks.   A) Absolutely No Support.   B) You can't run. Things just flop around.   C) Gotta wear darker pants. If you sweat at all, that shit shows right through. End Result: I'll stick with Boxer Briefs. Disney Movies: A much contested thing in our relationship. My favorite Disney movie always will be, and always has been The Fox And The Hound. Apparently some people can't deal with the harsh emotional issues at play in this film though (i.e. My significant other). Those people prefer things a bit more emotionally shallow, such as Aladin, Cinderella, and The Little Mermaid. While I am always up for a little Ariel or Jasmine (an entirely seperate discussion), let's get real. The Fox And The Hound had a bit of everything. Some cry moments, some laugh moments, alot of happiness, etc... End Result: The Fox And The Hound OWNS all other Disney Movies except for my absolute favorite animated movie, The Goofy Movie. Those are two small issues discussed in our many conversations, and more will follow. Perhaps in the future, I'll get her to write herself, and we can have Government Warning: Matt vs. Lara. As for the rest of this column. It's been a slow couple weeks for me. I've seen maybe one or two movies, I have yet to review them, but I'll do that for my next column. I'll sit down and review Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Matrix Revolutions, and perhaps Kill Bill Vol 1. My movie reviews are going to get this place to take off, no doubt. In music news... I've got nothing, haven't bought a CD in awhile, or went to any shows aside from Fuel/Smile Empty Soul. Matchbox Twenty has a new EP out Tuesday, might pick that up. Besides that, naught on that front. Things will pick up soon though, no doubt there either. In closing, some ideas have begun flowing between Hach and myself following my column the other day about perhaps doing a "Hachland Wrestling" subsite. Overall, great idea in my opinion. Both myself and Hach are into wrestling, our views are, to say the least, unique, and it's something that'll get hits and make Hachland more mainstream, the obvious goal. So we'll see where that goes. It'll mean more writers for the site, more exposure, and hopefully more entertainment, which is the bottom line, as always, from me. For now, rest up kiddies, things are about to get real interesting. Hach and Sam are the poison, and I am...

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