The Adventure Begins...
January 27th, 2004 •
Written By:
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 The return, the wait, the deep breathing every night before you go to bed, you check Hachland. You wonder where Hach is. Why hasn�t he written anything? And then as condensation forms on your cheek in the form of a tear, you look down to the ground and begin to blame yourself. You tell yourself: �I should have�� But all the should haves are for not�. Because the truth of the matter you always resovlve your nights with a slight look to the heavens, and still with that one tear streaming down your right cheek you ask God, even though you, yourself are not at all religious, you ask him: �God, when will Hach come back.�
And that�s not the only thing, it�s one of the many, but the one ultimate thing that is done in all forms of language, from Russian to Japanesse and translated a million times over, everyone and every single person on this Planet. Still with that dumb, confused and worried look on their face question once more, one last time. But it�s not a simple question, not like the question you asked before. But this question isn�t really a question at all, no not at all. It�s more of a statement, a statement that hasn�t been turned into a question, because of the pain you feel and the emptiness in your heart. So you ask it once more, and again, you state it so many times that it becomes your saving grace, it becomes your key to remembering me, although it has nothing to do with what I�ve done or what I could have done. But you say it, and it connects you with me, because you know what that question, what that statement really is all about. It�s simple, it�s maybe too obvious. I know what it is, I�d have to be a retard to not understand that. You do and I miss it too.
Yes, oh, yes, it�s finally been revealed what you, my fans of mine, have begun calling out all guards and trying to buy every dective in this city in order to find me. But the same thing still pours off your tounge, day in and day out � I Miss Hach.
Now after I boasted my own ego up to times one-hundred, we�ll just have to wait for what you people have to say about that. And oh, will I surely enjoy every second, every minute, every heartbeating millisecond while I�m at the edge of my seat with sweat pouring from my forehead down into my eyes and then the combination of sweat and tears forms this sour, but yet erotic taste and as that pours down and into your mouth all so uncontrollably that it stuns you. That you sit there and wonder why. Why have I not seen this before? Where was I in a previous life? All these questions and questions you�ve never came to think about ever before is sent into me and asked. Questions like: �Why is the grass blue?�
Yes, I�ve gotten this. I�ve been amazed and questioned it numerous times, but my final word of advice is, don�t leave your house with you male partners blue balls in your face.
I can�t belive I really said that. Wow.
So let�s catch a breath from all that excitement.
10� 9� 8� 7� 6� 5� 4� 3, 2, 1�
Alright, let�s begin, yes, it�s been a while. But I�m back. Okay, thank you for reading. Good night.
But wait that�s not all, we have some big, big, BIG news out of the news offices of Hachland, Inc. (please note we are not a real incorporation, but still don�t still the Hach from the Land) Yes, but it�s going to be given out one letter at a time to what it is. One small hint, maybe more than one letter. Maybe a symbol instead of a letter. Maybe�. Maybe you�ll just have to guess and throw out something completely random. Like dolphins.
So with a little bit of Seasme Street music in the background, I�d like to introduce you to the word, to the letter, to the symbol, to the simply �HINT OF THE DAY�. Again, this hint is hinting at something big that�s coming to Hachland. (We will not spell out Big Rob, sorry Bubba).
Now for the hint � �.�. Yes, a period. A simple period� Hmmm� So many questions still to be questioned, so much, too much, so long.
Well, now that I have gotten the hello�s and goodbye�s already out of the way, I think it�s time to tackle some hard hitting issues in the world today. Such as Mars, the redest planet of the all.
So we�ve landed a few of these what NASA calls rovers onto Mars. It seems so technologically sound that this is happening. But the saddest part of it all I think is the fact that these are not the first rovers to be put on Mars.
Oh, so they just put some up on Mars a couple years ago like the first could have been back in 1996, right?
Wrong. I�m sorry to be right, but the fact is we�re finally going back to Mars, we�re just barely talking about going to the Moon. Yeah, George W. Bush may sound strange and even humerous at times, but why haven�t we gone back to the Moon? Why haven�t we landed anyone on Mars? And why isn�t their a Starbucks on the moon?
These seem far fetched questions, even ridicolus, could you see a respectful reporter ask these questions? Somebody like the retiring Barbra Walters. Could you see her sounding ricioulus? I can. But that�s because I�m smart. Or maybe it�s just because I watch a lot of telelvision, whatever the reason, it may sound like a joke, but it�s no laughing matter.
We haven�t done anything great in the Space Program in many, many years. It�s damn near sad. Yeah, we�ve gone to the Moon, the entire World watched it. We stopped our rallys, our hate, we stopped for one night, we watched telelvisions at stores, we looked up to the sky, just to see the �man on the moon�. We had landed on the moon. In one of the most ethnically harsh times, in 1969. Not only ethnically, racistly, but parents we�re arguing with children, all over this war in Vietnam.
Don�t tell me you don�t know what I�m talking about, there�s numerous movies that discuss the current time period, such as Forrest Gump and even Apollo, while both have the likes of Tom Hanks, other films seemingly touched on the world of these times, from war, to travel, and to questioning things that never we�re before ever questioned. One such film is Planet Of The Apes.
Yes, Planet Of The Apes, stars Charlton Heston and has characters portrayed as nothing but �damn dirty apes�, but if you dig deep and you are able to see threw those monkey costumes and to see the this film as a master piece touching all likes of not only pre-set opinions, but the coming forth of new opinions. The tango of reality this movie has is so close to being the truth of the times of the 1960s and 1970s that the only thing which could even posibily touch this is a HBO Documentary (because their so cool, The Road To Super Bowl 1 is good).
But what Planet Of The Apes tackles profoundly is that yes, while space travel is needed, it is also dangerous on the affect that you could travel to some other planet or either to a future time. It also teaches that things such as large change in the over populating and over educating of mammals such as apes, could be a bad, bad thing. But that�s just saying because I�ve watched this movie series numerous times.
Yet, we�re not here writing a movie review about Planet Of The Apes, we�re sitting here discussing the short comings or no comings of our current Space travel. Yes, we�ve had a few major and minor accidents, but that�s what�s expected. There is a level of risk involved. Such a level of risk greater to the degree that not only is their human lives we are dealing with, but will these billion dollar machines and the uncertain possibility that something strange could occur in our future, or even we could do something to our past.
The ever popular debate of �Is Time Travel Possibile?�
If movies is a determinate we all can answer that profoundly with a �YES�, But it�s not that case , we�ve had our Back To The Futures, and some recent disappointments in my mind such as The Time Machine, and whatever else big Hollywood forced to shove down our throats.
Yet, with all this big movie production discussion I�ve become trapped into the bottom line is our space program sucks. Yeah, we may have more people working, more money put in. But the desire is not there. And I think this is sadly a sign of the times. Yes, more than anything I�d love to see space travel, I�d love to be able to argue that Star Wars was right or Star Trek was wrong, or anything along those lines, but we can�t.
The unblind desire is not there. Politics are too big and too huge. The presidency is turning into a game. It doesn�t matter who is in as president, just as long as he (or she, although we�re not there yet) is one of two things � a republican or a democrat.
Yeah, we can easily attack George W. Bush, but we can also easily attack Bill Clinton. To say there has never been a good president is also a understatement. These things we discuss of who�s a better president, doesn�t really need all the shamelessness of things, it�s basically wether you�re a democrat or a republican. Black or white, a ape or human. We�re destroying ourselves with this unneccasary and unconsittional way of thinking, we don�t need government parties. What we need is one common goal.
Yeah, but what am I saying now, your asking yourself. One common goal? That sounds alittle too Communist to me.
But hey, while we�ve been sitting in this sinking ship, the tide has came in, the hole has gotten bigger. As we�ve been thinking and being told that Bush is evil and he needs to be outseted out of the White House, we have noticed what Clinton did wrong.
Did you know numerous terrorist things occurred while Clinton was in the White House? We didn�t scream and complain then? You�d rather sit back and let people easily walk up to you and blow you up. But not when Bush is sick and tired of all this killing and has chosen to attack Iraq, a country that at one time, maybe not toady, well, certainly not today, could have been a possible threat to us, but we went over there and showed them, that yeah, you and your Middle Eastern friends can push us around, but we�ll be the one�s shoving.
Yet, then we have the people who question whether or not Saddam had anything to do with it. Or if Osama Bin Laden had anything to do with it. Let�s see�. They�ve had problems with us in the past, and they showed no reason to us that they didn�t do it. They actually showed us and bragged about doing it, mainly Osama.
Yes, 9/11 happened during Bush�s presidency. But it could have been handled. If Clinton didn�t eliminate so many military bases and cut military funding until there was nothing but the rements of old military vehicles and weapons.
What did Clinton go threw? Did he have any terrorist type attacks? Oh, most certainly he did. Ever hear of Columbine? How about the Oklahoma Bombing? Both of which there�s been numerous reports and even video tape evidence in both that these events we�re not only planned weeks and even months ahead, but that in the case of the Oklahoma bombing not only did the FBI know, but they wanted it to happen to increase National Security.
While this seems far fetched, I haven�t done any of the underground snooping most people do, but I�ll give it to the affect that I�ve read a lot into this and watch numerous documentaries.
So what I�m trying to simply say is�. We need to go to Mars.
Mars is a fantastic place we don�t know about, it�s another planet, another climate, a completely different world. For well, it is.
We need to travel the universe see if there really is anyone else out there, see if there is anything out there. To clear each and every hoax there is and say, see crop circles aren�t from aliens. And then the only reasonable explaniation would be, well, certain times of the year, the cows gather and attempt to recreate their births. Thus causing ruckus of mass amplitude, which sends people revolting against cows and causing each and every one of those vegetarians back home and eating meat.
These things have to be accomplished if not today, then when? When the world blows up and we are forced to live in darkness? When Michael Jackson rapes every child there is and we�re forced to live in darkness? Or when bad parenting gets a little too bad and we�re forced to live hiding from these bad parents �cause it�s sad and terriable and then are kids are forced to live in darkness?
To all comes back again to darkness. We need to travel, for if we don�t we live in darkness.
So don�t live in darkness. Go to Mars.
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