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When
I was young, my mom always told me that rain was the
angels' tears. She said rain was a sign from God to
remind kids to be good because their guardian angels
were weeping. I never really bought it. Not that I don't
believe in angels but for me, rain is just that- plain
old rain. Nothing more, nothing less. All that changed
when I met Andrei. With him, rain meant everything.
The
go-between
I
met Andrei through my then crush Jeff. Andrei was his best
friend and my only hope of capturing Jeff's heart. Getting
close to Jeff meant making suhol to Andrei so he
could put in a good word for me. All was working well; I
was getting close to Jeff, thanks to Andrei. But all hell
broke loose when I found out that Jeff only got
"chummy" with me because he had a thing for
Trisha, one of my closest friends.
Naturally,
I was devastated. It was one of those days when the
weather seemed in touch with my feelings. As it rained
outside, it also rained inside- in my heart. Classes were
suspended. What made matters worse was the fact that our
family driver, who was picking up my younger sisters, was
stuck at the other end of the metropolis. My mom told me
to stay where I was or try to get a ride home with one of
my friends. But by the time I got her message, all my
friends had left. Damn rain!, I remember saying to myself.
So I waited near the guardhouse, bruised ego and all,
killing time and thinking how stupid I was to even wish
that my crush would feel the same way about me.
God
must have heard my prayers. Andrei appeared form nowhere
and offered me a ride home. I politely declined because I
knew he lived in Makati and he would be going out of his
way if he brought me home to Quezon City. But he was
insistent. I guess one of my friends told him about the
"Trisha-Jeff" incident. He said I could get sick
and God knew what else by staying in school. I reluctantly
agreed. Besides, I figured I needed someone to listen to
me and Andrei could be that. I hopped into his car and
took the ride that would forever change my life.
Being
stuck in traffic seemed the perfect opportunity for me to
express my feelings. On East Avenue, with the floodwater
about knee-high, I found myself crying on Andrei's
shoulders. he listened intently, giving me advice even as
he tried to squeeze out of the traffic jam to get me home.
It was really sweet of him to give me a ride home, much
more to listen to my sappy story about how I actually
thought that I loved his dumb best friend Jeff. I was in
the middle of my I-am-so-kawawa monologue when he
told me that no man was worth a woman's tears. Right there
and then, as typhoon Feria unleashed her fury in gust
winds and heavy downpour, Andrei promised that he would
forever make sure that no guy would ever break my heart
again. That was when I found my best friend.
Magic
in the rain
Everyday,
for the rest of the year, Andrei would make it a point to
meet all the guys who were making papansin (as he
liked to call it) to me. He was my security blanket,
the teddy bear that girls hold on to when they get scared
in the middle of the night. He was more than just a
friend. He was almost like a big brother. He met my every
need for a boyfriend. He was supportive and understanding,
seemingly without expecting anything in return. Big
brother, as I loved to call him, kept his promise that he
would let no one break my heart again.
On
another rainy afternoon when classes were suspended and
our driver was picking up my other sisters from their
school, Andrei offered to give me a ride home. This was
different from the ride I took with him the year before.
He was unusually silent. It was obvious that he was deep
in thought. Being his "lil sis", I asked him
what the problem was. He just shrugged. Sensing that it
was something personal, I kept silent during the whole
trip. The silence was deafening but what could I do? He
didn't want to talk. Just before I closed the door when I
reached our house, he suddenly blurted out the words I'd
been longing to hear. "Regina! I can't continue just
being friends with you," he said. "I've learned
to love you for who you really are." And just like in
the movies, I found myself in the arms of the person I
love in the middle of the rain.
The
rain stopped
Our
relationship was filled with joy. We did not fight except
for a few tampuhans. We went to the graduation ball
together, even winning the Sweetest Couple Award. To put
it simply, it was pure bliss. Everything was perfect, just
perfect. And then it was time for college.
It
was difficult for us to keep seeing each other. Our
schedules would not allow it. His school was on Taft while
I was in Diliman. We pretended that nothing was wrong,
that we were okay. We would say, "Hey! We can do
this. Nothing's going to stop us." But we were wrong.
From being able to see each other almost everyday, we
found ourselves hardly able to meet once a month. It was
hard, really hard until we both couldn't take it anymore.
We
broke up through text messages. We didn't have time to see
each other and break up in person. We sort of talked about
it through text and he decided we had to part.
Tearful,
I walked home. Thank God I lived near the school. Maybe I
was cursed or something but on my way home I got caught in
the rain. I had to walk through the rain without any
protection on my head, as my umbrella was broken. But I
didn't run all the way home. In fact, I walked ever so
slowly. The drops of rain on my face felt like goodbye
kisses. It was as if we were having our last embrace. As I
walked in the rain I thought about all the good times we
shared and the wonderful things we did together. I didn't
want our love to end. But I knew it was the end.
Two
years later, I am still crying over that failed
relationship. I keep thinking that if only I tried to make
things work then maybe we'd still be together. But things
didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. The only thing I
can do now is enjoy the rain, mute witness of my love for
him and his love for me. Now I am beginning to think that
my mom may have been somehow right. Raindrops are indeed
tears but not of angels for children's sins but of people
who continue to love. I will continue to wait in the rain.
I know that someday someone will come my way. Better yet,
maybe he'll come back and pick up where we left off.
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