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Journal
Entry September 16, 2003 Okay…I wrote this exactly one week ago and,
for some reason, never got around to taking it from loose-leaf paper to the
computer so I will now. It was
written during a three hour lecture so if may tend to ramble since it was either
find something to write about or die and decay in my chair.
Anyhow, here it is: I have to write.
I have no choice. No choice
at all. I was born with the
predestination that I was to be a writer. I
wasn’t consulted. I have to
write. No,
no, no, darling. You have it all
wrong. Nobody has to do anything
(well, except maybe eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom).
You don’t have to write.
And don’t forget that you’re a mormon and mormons don’t believe in
predestination. You are the master of your own destiny, the captain of your
own wafer. You don’t have to
write. Yea, I foolishly thought that too for a while. Some say that we’re all born with a certain
inclination toward a particular career. This
is why I spent the first four years of college being subjected to numerous
career determination tests:
Which do you enjoy doing the most: 1)
Reading a good novel 2)
Helping the poor 3)
Doing volunteer work 4)
Becoming a member of a student council. Advisors never knew what to do with my answer 5) If I had a choice, I
would spend my hours alternating between shopping, playing video games, and
listening to music. Well then,
alright, which subjects are you most
interested in? Well, I’m a writer
so I’m interested in learning everything (except for Physics.
I’m going to allow those who derive some sort of sick pleasure from
pain deal with that subject). So,
why did I not just major in creative writing if I love writing so much.
Well, I would except that I like to eat, and I enjoy money, both of which
is not guaranteed with a major in creative writing.
Also, I’m a creature of logic, and I refuse to spend my life savings to
get a major that will not guarantee me a job that will provide me with the basic
necessities of life. But that’s just me. Anyway, I was talking about writing so let me
go back to that. I have to write. Why? If I
don’t write, I go insane. I’ve
been doing scientific experiments all morning, and I’m in a bit of a
scientific mood so let me construct a mathematical expression to explain this in
case it is a thousand years from now and an engineer, who was hoping to recover
some sort of theory concerning the speed of light but unfortunately recovered my
journal, is reading this.
Problem 1:
A slightly insane girl discovered that on days in which she did not
write, she became unnervingly insane whereas on days which she did write, she
became more “mentally stable”. Construct
a relationship showing these variables, using the µ,
or “proportional to” operator.
Answer:
Not writing µ
going insane Or
Writing µ
“mentally stable” Either answer is accepted. However, it must be noted that like most
mathematical and scientific equations, they are not truly accurate since they
are evaluated using “ideal states” in which you assume that certain
conditions exist, even though they might not be exactly true.
For example, when I use the term, “mentally stable”, I’m assuming
an “ideal state” since my brain does not and probably will never truly
achieve mental stability. However,
whenever I write, I get close enough. I’m
not sure why that is. Maybe it’s
because writing is something that runs through my blood and so, when I don’t
do it, my body slowly shuts down. Either
way, I will keep writing. Utena's note: I am aware that the symbol for propotional too if not the same symbol that appears here. For some reason, it will not paste correctly so please envison the correct symbol in your mind as you read. ^_^
© EXCEL
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